Running
by Trickssi
Summary: Running away has never solved anything, but Sheena finds that certain circumstances demand it. COMPLETE
1. Business?

**Disclaimer**: I do not own the characters of _Tales of Symphonia_, however much I wish to do so. My compliments to the designers; they've created a magical, life-lesson-learning, immersive game which I'm about to destroy with a badly-placed plot twist. Actually, it's not so much a disclaimer as it is an apology. Sorry for ruining your characters, Namco.

**Warning**: Especially for this chapter, "M." Mentions of sexual situations and slightly offensive language abound. Did I mention this was the first M-rated Sheelos ever? It's also the longest. Just so you know.

Welcome to my masterpiece Sheelos fic. It's been over a year in the making, still being perfected, recently edited, widely accepted. If you don't like this chapter, don't click away just yet. This chronicles the inner struggle of Sheena to find herself as well as her purpose, and how love and choices tie into it. It goes from slightly before all of the Summon Spirits are linked until the end of the game; **spoilers**, but some of them have been manipulated. Thank you for choosing to read my fanfic!

--Trickssi

**Chapter One: Business?**

It was quiet; all too quiet, though clichéd it was. Of course, the next day everyone would face the separation of the two worlds and choose their own paths. But every last one of them slept soundly except for Sheena, appointed watchman for the middle of the night. She discarded her boots figuring there wouldn't be any monsters between now and when she decided to wake up the next lucky night owl. It would be Zelos's shift; a thought which both nauseated her, and...

She suddenly felt something else. It was the pain, physical and subconscious, that she had recently felt in Shadow's lair. She was sure it wasn't just thinking about all the times Zelos had tried to grope her in that place, or the fact that she was quite queasy at the moment. This was different. The darkness there had caused her to stumble, bruise, fall. But the impending darkness of the world as seen through the temple... that's what caused her to ache. She'd never tangibly felt darkness like this before.

… What if she failed to make the pact the next day? What if she couldn't control Luna in the first place because Aska broke his promise? She would reenact Volt, surely. The last thing she needed was more death on her account. Years of silent damnation had done her far more ill than good.

Martel, she needed consolation. None of this ordinary consolation for her. That hadn't worked with Volt the first time, and it wouldn't work for Luna this time, and it wouldn't end up solving anything anyway. What was that ancient Mizuho method; one she'd read about, attempted, but never truly practiced...? It was strange to think about it being her only option. She was a respectable woman, after all. There had to be another way to do this, simply had to.

Zelos stirred. Sheena had the insuppressible urge to wake him up early for his shift. Normally she would have woken Raine or Regal, the intelligent ones, to discuss this dark disease invading her mind; but perhaps, just perhaps, if _he_ consented to this "outdated" method...

No, don't do it. Don't you do it, Sheena. Can't you write a poem or something, or take a walk to get your mind off of this? … He's going to wake up anyway. It wouldn't really _hurt_ if he declined, would it?

"Zelos," she called softly. "Zelos, wake up."

A large intake of breath and the Chosen opened his eyes and stared up at her. He blinked, then squinted, then sat up. "Time for my shift already, my future hunny?" he yawned. "I was just dreaming about you."

"Ah, uh... no," Sheena said bashfully. She looked him over, casting her eyes on the ground finally. Was she really going to do this? And how, when just two days ago had mockingly called him a walking libido; she could never live it down. But he was the only eligible male in the group for the Mizuho treatment. Genis; she's not a pedophile. Lloyd; why, he wasn't of age, and he'd never stoop to that level. Regal; too old for her, and wouldn't those handcuffs be awkward. Zelos was the obvious choice; the _last_ choice, but the obvious one nevertheless. There were many times—okay, most times—where he'd make lewd passes at her (or every other girl on the planet), but that only supported her suspicions of his experience. She figured she'd just have to trust him. Because, damn, she needed a gigantic favor that was right up his alley.

"Well, why'd you wake me up? I need my beauty sleep, you know," he commented, passing his hand through his sleep-ridden hair.

"Zelos, I... I need to ask a favor of you. A really big one," she said. She realized she had to be more assertive; if she seemed submissive in any way, everyone would suspect she had _feelings_ for him. Bleaugh. Tact, Sheena, tact. "You need to go behind that rock there," she added resolutely.

"Anything for you, sweetheart, as long as you never wake me up again," Zelos agreed. "'Cept, you know, it is a little suspicious considering what time of night it is… What, are you gonna assassinate me or something?"

Sheena said nothing and led the way up the hill and away from the camp with all its sleeping heroes. The rock proved to be big enough to hide the both of them, but as for sound... She hoped he wasn't... _noisy._ She tried not to think of it like that for fear of vomiting. She'd call it _cacophonous_, perhaps. It was a much nicer flowing word and it would dilute the lewdness. As Zelos caught up, she backed him up against the rock; and though their faces were close enough to whisper, she still glanced from side to side to scout intruders.

"Feisty, aren't we," he observed, eyebrows raised. "You'd better be careful or I'll have to molest you!"

Sheena glared at him. "Can it, Chosen. This is serious." He sighed and tilted his head slightly to signify he was listening. "Look at me. Look at what's happened because of me. There are twenty-some headstones at the cemetery that are my doing. My grandfather the Chief, knocked into a coma. I endangered Mizuho and all of Tethe'alla when I chose to follow Sylvarant's Chosen. And Corrine; he's one of the only reasons I'm still doing Summon Spirits."

"I'm... sorry?" he said at length, breaking her gaze. "There's nothing anyone can do about your past. I suppose you've had all night to think about it, huh? Is there a reason you're suddenly becoming Little Miss Drama Queen?"

"The Summon Spirits aren't helping, genius," she steamrolled on. It seemed she had not absorbed what Zelos had just said. "Surely you remember Shadow's lair. Ever since I obtained Shadow's power I haven't been feeling right. Something like falling into emptiness is what it feels like, and if I don't stay in the light everybody's in trouble. I'm the only one here who can obtain the power of Luna. If I mess up with this one, it's lights out for more than just half of a measly little town. We're talking global. Bi-global. "

"Hunny, don't worry about all of it. Like I say, the future doesn't always imitate the past," he consoled her. She felt herself pulled into a superficial embrace but it didn't eradicate her fear. "Now, what's this favor you were talking about? A reassuring kiss or two? Heh..."

Sheena blocked his last comment out of her mind, shoved him away from her. She had to concentrate on the task at hand, though she was distracted by his sudden kindness. "You'll live for the moment, then," she said darkly.

"Yeah, I live for—Wait a second. What exactly are you scheming?" Zelos questioned nervously. He had never seen Sheena act in a way that frightened him. Actually, he decided it was turning him on.

Sheena closed her eyes and affirmed her decision silently. With a slow inhale, she said, "I want you to... copulate with me." Zelos let slack his jaw.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa; WHAT?" he stammered. "Sheena, are you feeling all right?" He sidestepped to escape whatever power she thought she had.

"What's the matter, Chosen? Suddenly I'm not as good as one of your hunnies?" Sheena maintained her aggressive stare.

"No need to get all offensive about it. I was just wondering why the sudden change of heart," Zelos said coolly.

"This has nothing to do with my heart," Sheena spat; and in her left brain it didn't. She was merely using him in the healing technique for the good of the group; wasn't she? She crossed her arms. "I have my own reasons for this. Let's just say you have something I need to help me... the group."

"I guess I don't have to ask what _I_ get out of this, but I still think you have something to share with the class…"

"Strictly business, leave it at that," she said curtly.

"Revenge, or trying to get _someone_ to be jealous of you? Is this about Lloyd or something?"

'_You are so incredibly off-target that it doesn't even deserve an answer!_' "NO. Zelos, the one time I need you to do something for me—can't you just shut up and help me out here!"

Zelos smiled wickedly. "Ohoho, you _need_ me, now?" He advanced on her; and to her own surprise Sheena didn't fight it. She allowed his arms to steal their way around her waist, his breath to fall upon her ear. Strictly business. Take one for the team. He was _not_ a filthy, lying pervert, if only for a fraction of time.

"You keep thinking that," she encouraged flatly. Gingerly she curled her fingers about his hair: the one thing she truly loved about him. Her dark hair was greasy, ratty from adventuring; not his soft crimson locks. Why, he kept them better than any girl she knew! Perhaps his meticulous attention proved to be a part of his personality and not just personal hygiene. Perhaps...

By the time Sheena ceased her musing, she noticed she was falling with Zelos onto the cold ground. It didn't hurt: he had her weight and had descended gently. He took his arms out from under her and, jokingly cracking his knuckles, proceeded to reach for the opening in her robe. She snatched the both of his hands.

"You may... take advantage of me as you wish; however, I have three rules to conform to ancient settings. Otherwise this won't work."

"Sure, _whatever_," Zelos said hurriedly, ridding himself of his shirt and tunic. His face was already flushed with anticipation. And whenever that Cruxis blood pumped through his veins with a motive nothing could stop it.

"Number one," Sheena blurted. She realized her heart had been racing. "You may not look directly at me." Zelos nodded. The words pretty much escaped his ears, for he struggled to undo his seemingly restrictive pants. She mirrored his action underneath him. "That goes for my chest, too," she added pluckily at feeling his roaming hands. She bunched her robe together at her heart to signal her dissent.

"Two," she continued quickly, "is that this never reaches anyone. Not friends, not enemies, anyone. I'm taking a leap to trust y—oh!" Zelos had grabbed her ass, thus inspiring the yelp. He figured he had to do this when he wouldn't be punished.

"Uh huh," he muttered into her shoulder. "Not the edge of a _single__word_..." She squirmed under his touch, his hand which traced the outline of her thigh ever-so lightly.

"Three," she gasped with as much control as she could muster. "Quick and utterly meaningless—!" He had separated her knees far enough for his own access. She'd better not lose it, not now. No, she wouldn't give him the pleasure of hearing her cry out.

"Shut up and help me out here!"

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Raine had imagined she'd heard voices for some time now, but it was confirmed that someone was approaching the camp. She weighed whether it was worth it to investigate. She knew it was someone from the group; but who, and for what purpose had he or she wandered? Curiosity killed the archaeologist, no doubt. Raine decided she had put an end to things more lethal than curiosity anyway. She sat up.

"Sheena?" she whispered confusedly. "I thought—"

"Don't you worry over anything, Professor," Sheena cut her off. She sauntered over to her sleeping mat and settled herself in.

"Wh-where's Zelos?" Raine questioned. She thought that if he wasn't here on shift, and Sheena came back all smug, well then—"You didn't _kill_ him, did you! Certainly his inappropriate comments make anyone mad, but he's still the Chosen!"

Sheena laughed, mainly to herself. "Oh, relax. He's fine. I'll explain in the morning. I'm sure we killed the lot of 'em, though. No need to worry about monsters when I'm around," she explained dismissively. She rolled onto her stomach. "Good night."

"Yes, good night," Raine replied. Though she allowed herself to fall asleep, she still couldn't help thinking there was something different, almost cheerful, about Sheena. '_Then again,'_ she mused, _'I hadn't put it past her to kill Zelos off; perhaps she enjoys slaughtering monsters_?" But the matter was far from solved.

Over in her makeshift bed, Sheena still could not slow her mind... or her pulse. That experience was very different from what she had been taught. Compared to Zelos, the followers of the Igaguri were—well, they couldn't even compare. Not that she had been with any of the men herself; she just had vast knowledge compiled from her findings as a youth. She had practiced alone enough to know that that infuriating Chosen did have something special. Perhaps he was a virgin, bringing freshness to the concept. Sheena nearly laughed at the thought. With all those women he flirted with, had he not had intimate company with a single one? No, that was impossible. Though in her heart, Sheena clandestinely wished it the truth.

No, really. What was it that made it different? Zelos, she decided, was an enigma; but herself... Was it something _she_ did? Had she practiced it so incorrectly before and this was how it was supposed to make her feel? Inconceivable. She felt no better now than the previous attempts. If anything, she felt... worse. The void of fear and self-consciousness was replaced, all right, but not with anything genuine. There now was a gaping hole that hungered, or rather, lusted. But why?

If she went from raving lunatic to contented dreamer that quickly…

She fell asleep rather quicker than she intended.

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If you have read this all the way through I ask that you leave a comment in the review box. I would very much appreciate your ideas on my toil. Thank you!


	2. The Whither To's and the Why For's

**Disclaimer**: I don't own!

**Warning**: M (as in Mithos!) for language and situations.

Thanks for continuing to read. From here on out, there will be no reviewer responses, seeing as to how I have already responded to the people who have reviewed this chapter in the past. However, if you wish for me to respond to you in particular, please let me know and leave me your e-mail. Grazie!

--Trickssi

**Chapter Two: The Whither-To's and the Why-For's **

"I'm starting to worry about her. Wake her up."

"_I'm_ not waking her up. You remember what happened last time..."

The voices swam in her head as Sheena returned to the waking world. Zelos had just made his way over to her as she fluttered her eyes open. What a comfort to see _his_ visage first thing in the morning.

"AGH!" she screeched, throwing the blanket over her head. She wasn't entirely sure he wasn't about to open the curtain of last night's drama to their companions; a blanket was the best cover for faces in such a situation.

"Morning, sexy," he said casually. He was met with a sharp blow to the head as he rose. No doubt it was Sheena attempting to end his lies before they began. "What the—"

"Don't you _dare_ say you didn't deserve it," she hissed, turning on her heel. She chucked the blanket that had been tangled over her shoulders onto her sleeping mat and decided she was done with Zelos for the day. He'd already blown his chance of a conversation in two words. Think of the disaster had he said even one more. Better to end things now.

"Oo, touchy. You should get over it. They already know."

Sheena froze. "Th-they WHAT!" she howled, heart pounding from the possibility that he may not have lied. It was entirely possible; Raine could have been up that whole time and informed the others before Sheena even returned. Or perhaps the racket—she knew _she_ was capable of silence, but had Zelos slatternly given them away? She was cross with herself that she couldn't remember. But now was not time to throw anger; someone had to be blamed, and the target seemed the foolish philanderer in front of her.

It was now obvious that the camp was watching their quarrel unfold.

"Oh, yeah," Zelos continued playfully, "how could they not? I mean, even _I _can tell with the way you've been acting that... you have PMS!" Raine rolled her eyes and sent everyone back to cleaning up.

Sheena nearly fell over. "I damn _better_!" she muttered to herself, then more loudly at Zelos: "You bastard! Y—I can't believe you did that to me!"

"What the hell are you talking about? I can't give girls PMS," he replied slyly. She saw now. He was playing a little game with her to make it seem like the night before never happened. She glared at him, but he only raised his eyebrows. He seemed trustworthy; though his way of showing it made her want to skewer him with one of Lloyd's rapiers.

"I—... You're incorrigible," she said finally. It seemed inconspicuous enough; a little wrangle, like always. But underneath it a void of confusion was spread betwixt the two.

Zelos strutted past the youngest(-looking, at least) travelers in their group. "It's obvious his ignorant and sexist comments were enough for her," Presea said blankly.

Genis was beet red; not because of the mention of womanly problems, or the fact that he'd probably spoken like Zelos at some inappropriate time before, but the fact that he, Genis Sage, was only about a foot away from the honest-to-goddess left shoulder of his beloved. Oh, Martel had _truly_ meant for them to be together. "I—um... Yeah," he stuttered, pretending to know what she was talking about. Zelos grinned and shook his head, returning to his designated spot surrounding the stones where the campfire had been.

As he was securing his dagger, Lloyd wandered over. "You okay?" he asked hesitantly. Zelos's head whipped up to look at him.

"What? Oh, you mean Sheena?" he said, rubbing his head where she'd smacked it. "It's nothing a little first aid won't fix..."

"I mean, I know Colette can get a little sensitive around this time of month, but I had no idea Sheena had the intention to beat the crap out of you," Lloyd admitted. "I have to make sure everyone is in one piece for the battle today."

"Nah, I'm fine," Zelos said. "Women are harmless paradoxes."

"Or... you might want to take it down a notch for today. She's got a lot on her mind and she doesn't need you harassing her," Lloyd blurted. He sharply realized he probably shouldn't be giving advice to the gigolo of Tethe'alla.

"Oh la, she loves me," the Chosen clucked over-confidently. "I've got this all figured out. Now run along and practice your little sword-fighting." Lloyd, deciding not to insult him, simply walked away with an agitated look.

Meanwhile, Sheena had easily packed up her belongings; more easily than the day before, Raine noted. "There's something about you today, Sheena," the Professor said.

"Oh, thanks," Sheena accepted. "I don't know what it is, but this morning I woke up and I felt regenerated and ready-to-go."

"You did sleep longer than usual. Perhaps that was the cause," Raine said, "Or perhaps it's a little _ninja trick_ you've decided not to share with the class." Sheena shifted uneasily, averting her gaze to the ground.

"Listen, I—"

"Maybe you're getting better from those Summon Spirits!" Colette suggested. She had finished disassembling her mat and decided to join the conversation.

Sheena smiled back at her. "You know, I think that might be it! I'm confident I can make a pact with Luna today. I can feel it."

_'Did I really just say that?'_

Obviously she had, for Colette was glowing back at her. What had gotten into her? Last night she was confident she would fail. But last night, she had also resorted to her own persuasion of healing arts. They must have worked! To hell with Zelos, she thought. He wasn't even worth the abuse he received that morning; she was going to summon Light, and the two worlds would split. In fact, she would never have to deal with him again! Her little way of getting back at him for all those lewd remarks. Perfect.

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It was all Regal's idea. Rheiards are bad for your health, he said. Walking will give you strength, he said. Then again, he also killed a girl because it would 'put her out of her misery.' Oh, Raine trusted him, all right; probably doing it to get out of having to balance on those machines without the use of his arms. Well, at least it wasn't water. Trudge, trudge... Then she got to thinking about Sheena as she spied her some distance ahead of herself and Regal (bringing up the rear as always). Sheena was hiding something; and as an aspiring archaeologist the Professor had to dig into the situation. She would find out what had changed the girl. It was for her own good. _'Besides,'_ Raine thought, _'Maybe I'll get to learn something of ancient Mizuho in the process...'_

"Regal," she addressed the man walking slightly ahead of her, "would you do me a favor?"

He looked back in acknowledgement and nodded. "What do you need?"

"Ah, I... I need to have a little talk with Sheena. Would you respect our privacy?"

"Understood," Regal said, returning to his forward gait.

"Sheena!" Raine called. The ninja turned her head; Raine motioned for her to come. Sheena apologized to Colette and swung around to the back of the troupe. She and the Professor walked awkwardly for a moment until Sheena gathered the guts to speak.

"So... this is about my 'ninja trick', isn't it?" she questioned abrasively. Raine nodded.

"I'm not entirely sure what went on between yourself and Zelos, but indulge me. I'm curious to find out why it was necessary."

Sheena's face reddened slightly. "You knew, then?" She was slightly disappointed in herself. Her whole goal was to have nobody figure it out; otherwise, she wouldn't have done it.

"It wasn't easy, but I figured it out over the course of this morning," Raine admitted. She noted the disdain in her comrade's face and added, "You have to remember, I'm a legal genius. I doubt the rest of them would be able to accrue the little clues here and there."

Sheena sighed heavily. "Ah, well. I tried, and that counts for _something_... What exactly do you feel you need to know about the situation? Because no, this has nothing to do with matters of the heart, as you should already have found." She didn't want to reveal more than she had to; but if she left Raine with nothing more, her reputation was in jeopardy.

"Right," she agreed. "But—it fascinates me; how on Earth would something like _that_ change a person's mana structure? There's no explainable process which I have studied that makes it possible."

"I—" Sheena began. She debated on whether or not to go into detail or simply tell the myth. "Well, since you're a professor, Professor, I believe I can entrust you with knowledge of Mizuho's sexual healing arts..." Raine's face lighted as she turned her ears to listen. "All right, this is what I know. The people of Mizuho believed that there were two types of mana: light and dark. It's not good versus evil, though; it's just light, which signifies purity and abundance, and dark, which is—well, it's used up. Having mana consisting of 'light' was always preferred in warriors and great leaders, because as I said, it's supposed to mean 'pure' and 'lasting.' There used to be many ways that one could replenish light mana, but unfortunately the documents were lost after the first move of the city when it was attacked (most likely Desians' work). The only surviving method was used fairly often and didn't require long ceremonies, so it didn't need to be written down in most cases. You know of which one I speak."

"Fascinating," Raine commented, eyes glazed over in what Lloyd and Genis liked to jokingly label Research Mode. She was indeed intrigued to hear the mention of the first Desian attack on Mizuho: something she'd studied for half a year when she was just out of school. She had never come across any of this, but it was probably because the village was communicative with only its citizens on matters so close to their heritage. "Now, how exactly was this dark mana replaced by light? Something of an exchange?"

"Good guess. You're close," Sheena said with a slight wince. "It wasn't so much an exchange as it was a cleansing. Like wiping off a chalkboard. The simple act of sexual release, either one-sided or paired, does something to the mana flow... I didn't really catch what it was exactly. They just said I had to learn it because I'm a summoner... To put this all in easier terms, if you—" She watched her tongue. It was risky to say anything that romanticized the simple facts because she did not romanticize Zelos in her own mind. "If you have sex, your dark mana is erased and filled with light mana."

"Simply marvelous," Raine exclaimed. Luckily for her everyone cared for her excitement passively, especially Genis. He'd had enough of her historical frenzies to learn to ignore them. Her face returned to its usual seriousness as she connected the recent story with Sheena's actions. "So, summoning replaces your light mana with dark mana?" she surmised.

"I guess. I can't really know, 'cause you can't check those things," she replied. "The mana just seems to let me know when it's time to replenish by stressing me out." She gave a little laugh. "I'm sorry if I was a little high-strung the past few days."

"Sheena, I'm not the one to whom you should be apologizing," the Professor said sternly. Sheena had to think for a moment on what she meant.

Zelos.

That's right, she had been rude for the past few days... or weeks. How long had she known him again? Well, he damn deserved it, she thought. A perverted fiend who tries to molest you deserves to be taken advantage of. It wasn't as though she was stealing his mana; he just wasn't benefiting from it, save for material for his own sick fantasies. But the important thing was that she now had the strength to summon Luna and Aska and save the world on her part... wasn't it?

"I'm not apologizing to that creep!" Sheena spat, face flushed. "He doesn't deserve it!" She began to storm off, when suddenly she realized that the ground upon which she did her storming was now solid instead of the springy grass cushion that was characteristic of Sylvarant. She looked up.

"The Tower of Mana," Raine announced. "Looks like you've bought yourself some time."

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If you have read this all the way through please leave a comment. Thanks!


	3. Fits of Light and Dark and Parasols

**Disclaimer**: I (still) do not own the characters of _Tales of Symphonia_, however much I wish to do so.

**Warning**: Yes, this fic will contain some more questionable stuff. That's why it's rated 'R'. So if you don't like mentions of sex or slightly offensive language, you're not old enough, or your parents would get you in trouble and kick you off of fanfiction forever if they found this, DO NOT CONTINUE. Thanks... Heh... I'm such a hypocrite.

**Pairings**: Sheelos, Gesea, Colloyd; the regulars. Although in this chapter, there's a bit of Sheeloyd... Heh.

Yaaaay! More reviews! God, I hope this chapter keeps 'em coming.

**Moon Peach**: Ah, thank you! I'm trying as hard as I can to update within a few days... although the material seems to get exponentially worse, but that's not the point!

**jellybeanz225**: Heh, silly me... I didn't even _remember_ Yuan being there. Unfortunately he's not going to show up in this chapter, but that doesn't mean I don't think he's hot! Maybe I'll get to him later, but he makes too many random appearances that I can hardly remember all of them...

**Rin**: I apologize for the length of my installments... Sometimes it's tough to think back even that far in the game after I've finished it. I know the _main_ plot of my story, but it's just the details that take awhile...

**Neko-chan**: Heh, I got a little excited there... Brownie points for understanding in the beginning, though! And for playing the game 5 times already O.o If only I had the patience!

**potter29vo**: Thank you so much! Although I decided against direct dialogue so as not to be reprimanded by hard-core gamers, the Colette information is quite useful for my upcoming chapter. It's nice to meet a fellow Sheelos fan; I'm sure you're mature enough for it. I'm only a year older than you... Heh... I shall update as often as I possibly can!

M'kay, on with the show! Or... story. Whatever.

Trickssi

**Chapter Three: "Fits of Light and Dark and Parasols"**

The wind buffeted her face as Sheena sat straddled upon the Rheiard. She was headed for the Mana Cannon. The Tower of Mana? Well, _that_ job was done, all right. But prior to its occurrence Kratos had appeared out of nowhere again and warned that the severed mana links would bring havoc instead of heaven. Great, Sheena thought; giving her another reason to feel guilty if the two worlds were to have been destroyed. Good thing Yuan showed up and stalled the haughty bastard.

Aska showed up, surprisingly, as promised; and Lloyd and Raine and Genis and the Summoner fought against the pair. Luna made the pact. An earthquake ensued, but this time its magnitude shook the very foundations of both Sylvarant and Tethe'alla. Without warning, the Great Seed sprung from the seal and grew out of proportion. Sheena had a fleeting thought that it could have been her last few moments when she had glanced at Zelos, to whom she hadn't yet apologized, and to Colette who had looked so frightened, and to Lloyd who was so brave and persistent... She now thanked Martel that they had survived past that point. And it was probably due to Martel they did; for inside the Great Seed-turned-Great Tree, a girl bearing striking resemblance to Tabatha was tangled.

Of course, Kratos knew what was going on. Of _course_, Cruxis seraphim of extreme arrogance and convenient timing. He always seemed to know what was up the sleeves of humanity. The worlds were separated; and the Seed was confused out of its mana, growing grotesquely from the lack of protection from the Summon Spirits of Tethe'alla. Or, at least that's what Sheena got out of it. All of the technicalities of the identification of who was good and who was evil and what in the hell was going on rather vexed her. It wasn't her fault that everything she had ever been taught had just been thrown out of the window. She wondered where Kratos grew up that he could ascertain those sorts of details at the drop of a pin.

What Sheena did know, though, was that she was being sent to the Mana Cannon. Because all of the Great Seed's power was in Sylvarant, summoning the spirits of Tethe'alla would balance whatever had just been tipped power-wise. Something like that. It was Lloyd's idea. True, the kid was a good thinker, but did he have to come up with such damn crazy theories? She wondered suddenly if Lloyd and Kratos were related, though it would have been impossible. Perhaps Kratos was his crazy uncle, and like uncle like nephew? Hm.

'_That must be it_,' Sheena thought as she approached what looked like a lighthouse. '_Some cannon. Might as well paint it _pink_ if you're gonna design it to look like this.' _"Mana Cannon," she said to herself as she dismounted the Rheiard and walked to the door. "Mana Cannon... Maaaaaana Caaaaannon. Hah." She laughed at the pronunciation. Really, did they mean to make their enemies shake with laughter rather than fear when they were confronted with it? "Behold, Mana Cannon!" she mocked, pretending to be Rodyle. She burst into laughter. Rhyming was definitely _not_ intimidating.

Sheena opened the door with some effort, seeing it had been made heavy as security. There was a window which seemed perfect for spying the signal Lloyd and the others would give her; she sat upon some stones that overlooked it. Kratos had gone with her friends to the Iselia Human Ranch. Kratos...

She didn't know why. She just had a bad feeling about him from the get-go. He was shady, disobliging in most cases, and very indecisive. Was he working for Cruxis or against it? It seemed he was handing information steamed and on a platter to Lloyd and Colette. Perhaps Cruxis taught him those details she had been mulling over. They didn't get a very good deal if that was the case; his running off and telling _her_ group was kind of considered betrayal. That's what bothered her about him. He always ran, whether from Cruxis or to it. Avoiding things was his only constant. What did he think he was doing? Not that she cared... Or damn it, did she? She did appreciate that he helped Lloyd. Not that most times he needed to be helped. He was strong on his own.

Lloyd: such a respectable boy. Well, he wasn't really a boy anymore, was he? '_Oh shit,'_ Sheena thought. '_Am I falling for this _kid_?!' _It was probably the least of her worries. Not that it was a worry or anything; her revelation gave her a reason to ignore Zelos even more. Lloyd was admirable and brave and strong and kind. Zelos was... well... a consenting adult; and that's really the only reason she hadn't tried to kill him. The perverted rascal had tried to make a move without prelude on her on countless occasions. He considered her just another 'piece of ass', she assumed. Why shouldn't she treat him the same way? Although, her way was better because he wouldn't get the rapture of thinking she liked him for his body.

... Or would he? She hadn't yet explained that the sex wasn't for kicks; that Mizuho-related involvement was her only reason. Although, at the moment he would be busy trying to rescue Chocolat, or trying to slay Forcystus. She wasn't quite sure at the moment.

Oh, how long could it possibly take them to overthrow that metal-armed freak? Sheena was growing bored in the dark tower. Shouldn't they already have killed that guy? Come on. How long could it possibly take to go through a human ranch? She knew Lloyd was fast-paced in dungeons ever since she began pursuing the Chosen; seriously, it was time for them to signal her.

She suddenly missed Corrine. Had he been there to keep her company perhaps she wouldn't feel as... lonely. She hated being alone as much as she hated admitting it. She had been alone, virtually parentless for most if not all of her life. She was the only Summoner in Mizuho. And alone, she had to face the unknown of Sylvarant for her village, her continent, her entire world. Well, with Corrine, which hadn't been so terrible; but now that he was gone, and all of this new unknown flying into her face...

Sheena stood up and began pacing, a nervous habit of hers. It sure beat nail-biting, but it gave her no added solace. Such corrosive anticipation. She would even take Zelos to keep her company; even _he_ has his good days, she thought. She reminded herself to apologize to him later.

And then, she saw it. A flash of light from the window snapped her to its attention.

"That must be the signal!" she shouted, planting herself in front of the Cannon. This was it, the moment for which she had been waiting. "All right... Disciple of Everlasting Ice! Hammer of Godly Thunder! Servant of Mother Earth! Envoy from the Dark Abyss! I call upon thee... Fire Mana Cannon!"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Mmm, I feel like Nathaniel Hawthorne. Descriptions, descriptions; as you can see, I covered well enough for not having any remembrance of that part of the game! I have no problem with the game anymore: I found this great little site with all the synopses on it so I don't have to revert back to it and type and play at the same time (made possible by WaveBird. Whee!). Too bad this chapter was short and dull... but it's not my fault I had to reveal Sheena's thoughts at some point.

The next chapter has plenty of material, so it'll probably be done on Monday or Tuesday. Expect the true Sheelos to start then. Thanks to **potter29vo** for creating the summary for me! I shall be sure to include you somewhere. I'm sure it's gonna bring in more readers.

--Trickssi

PS—Please R&R! It's so easy. It takes three seconds to make this one happy!


	4. Either Way

**Disclaimer**: I (still) do not own the characters of _Tales of Symphonia_, however much I wish to do so.

**Warning**: Yes, this fic will contain some more questionable stuff. That's why it's rated 'R'. So if you don't like mentions of sex or slightly offensive language, you're not old enough, or your parents would get you in trouble and kick you off of fanfiction forever if they found this, DO NOT CONTINUE. Thanks... Heh... I'm such a hypocrite.

**Pairings**: Sheelos, the regulars.

Yaaaay! More reviews! God, I hope this chapter keeps 'em coming.

**Asuka Efreet**: Ah... you're welcome... And thank you for reading it! Heh, is it bad that I know what Yutos is... and probably will like it? Hehehe!

**potter29vo**: Notice the new summary? All thanks to you, verily! Glad you're a fan of descriptions, 'cause otherwise that chapter would've been hell for you. And don't worry, the Sheelos action will come about, o Creator. But... it's a little fickle until the end... heh...

**Rin**: Yooooou'll get your Sheelos, don't worry!

**Michelle of the Night**: Thanks for reviewing! Heh, actually, I kind of modified the idea from something out of a manga I read once, but the light/dark transfer thing is all I took.

**nickkang**: I feel slightly insulted that you went through all the trouble of reading the summary and clicking on the little button just to—you know what? It's beyond words. I've written something already and your request is impracticable; if you want a Lloyd/Sheena fic, write it yourself, and get a spell-check beforehand.

**jellybeanz225**: Hehe, you know, before I got to that point in the game, I thought to myself that I'd make a story where Kratos turned out to be Lloyd's father (I saw the resemblance), but then I found out and it saved me the trouble! Damn, they think of everything...

**countkata**: Thank you! I take great pride in character work, so your comment hits close to my heart. Keep reading, it gets better!

Read on, people of the world. I hope nobody minds that I manipulated the timing for this chapter to occur.

--Trickssi

**Chapter Four: Either Way**

Sheena had received the notice to return to Iselia and made sure she traveled at top speed. She wanted to know exactly what had gone on without her. With her luck, she would have missed them already. But, she thought, why on earth would they get there faster if they were only a bit apart on the map and had the same vehicle? One which she drove faster, she added.

Ah, there it was now: the quaint little roofs under her feet. She veered down with the Rheiard; she loved that falling feeling. Landing outside the town, she left the vehicle and ran through the entrance, hoping she wasn't too late.

"Back so soon?" came a familiar voice.

"Raine!" Sheena shouted. It was she, standing by the schoolhouse on the right. "Is everyone still here?"

"Yes," the Professor replied. There was something melancholy about her voice that Sheena could not rightly place.

"Is everyone still... okay?" she further questioned. Raine nodded.

"They'll be all right."

"May I ask why you're here alone, and where the others are?"

"They're at Phaidra's dwelling," Raine directed with a gesture. "And I'm out here for Genis's sake."

"Genis? Is there something wrong with him?" Sheena asked. She was truly concerned that Raine wasn't giving her the full story; something in her countenance seemed less confident than usual.

"No," she said. Then looking at the ground, she changed her mind: "Well, there _is_ something that has been bothering me since I came back here..."

Sheena planted her weight on her hip and stood firmly. "May I ask what?" Raine looked back up at her and it was clear by the redness of her eyes that tears had been there and tears were to soon return.

"I suppose you wouldn't know, but there's a horrible prejudice in this place since the Desians' first attack," the Professor began, voice lilting with dismay. "It's nothing yet, but the people of Iselia have just learned that Genis and I are half-elves. I've been getting stared at, and I can hear some of the whispers around me. They—they think I'm going to bring dishonor and malevolence here, and... Well, I can't imagine what would happen if the Mayor found out." Sheena was overcome with sympathy for the half-elf, watching and praying silently that the liquid on the rim of her eye wouldn't fall. It couldn't fall because these stupid humans harassed her so. It couldn't fall, because she wasn't a false traitor. Sheena saw herself reflected in the Professor so perfectly well.

"Don't, Raine, don't," she chanted encouragingly. "You can't think about things like that right now. It doesn't matter what these people think." She regretted these words as they left her tongue. It did matter what _they_ thought, the _people_; at least, it had when the Volt disaster had occurred for her. Every glance was vicious. Every gesture was icy. She couldn't erase it now, but perhaps distracting Raine would benefit the both of them. "Hey, why don't we go inside for awhile? I can fix you a cup of tea..."

Raine shook her head, the silvery hair battering her face. The tears had fallen in streams. Damn. "No, no. I have to stay out here for Genis... If they find him instead, he's likely to be..." Her words dropped off for a moment; Sheena watched helplessly until the teacher resumed her speech, unwavering and strong. "I must stay, but you can go and check on Colette. You'll see what's happened to her."

"Happened?" Sheena asked. She immediately panicked. What had gone wrong with the angelic transformation, or had something _not_ happened? Although fear subsided with the reasoning that Raine probably hyped up the comment to rid herself of company. "Oh, I'll go, then. If anyone tries to hurt you, though..."

"I'll be fine," Raine dismissed. As Sheena turned to go, she whispered, "Thanks."

Sheena uneasily strode to Phaidra's dwelling, whoever she was. She would have guessed a relative of Lloyd but soon recalled that Lloyd _had_ no relatives. The Sages were out... Phaidra must be related to Colette in some way. She crossed the porch and went inside. No familiar faces sat at the table directly in front of her, save for the characteristic blonde hair that accompanied them. A man much older than she and an old woman instead replaced where she thought her friends ought to have been.

"Excuse me, are you Phaidra?" she asked the old woman politely.

"Indeed I am," Phaidra replied. Sheena was surprised that her vocal chords didn't strain as much as those of other aging people. "Are you one of Lloyd's friends?"

"Yes, and I've been told that Colette has been... well, that something _happened_ to her while I was gone," the ninja replied. Phaidra nodded knowingly.

"I think it best that you discuss it with her," she advised. "I have heard what the entanglement of Cruxis and the Desians is, but I cannot seem to discern it myself. She's upstairs in her room."

"Thank you very much," Sheena said, and bowed her head in respect. She hurried up the stairs to her left, ribbons flying out behind her.

"That must be... who was it? The assassin girl," Phaidra acknowledged after Sheena left.

"She seems pretty polite for a former assassin."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Colette!"

As she reached the top of the stairs, Sheena noticed the figure of the girl propped up on the bed and rushed to her side. Colette opened her eyes toward her visitor and sat herself up completely.

"Sheena! You made it!" she said happily. "I was worried I wouldn't get to see you before we left Iselia."

"_You_ were worried about _me_?" Sheena scoffed. "Look at yourself! What's happened to you?"

Colette glanced down at her clothing to make sure it was covering her telltale sign. "Nothing, it's nothing. I'm sorry I made you worry about me again. But I guess it made you come back faster, huh?"

They both laughed uneasily. "Yeah, it did. Where are the others?" Sheena asked.

"The Professor went out to see how bad the damage to her house was a little while ago."

"Yes, I... ran into her," she said, calculating. Raine had lied so Colette wouldn't get worked up about _that_ as well as whatever ailment she had attained.

"Oh! How bad is it?" chirped the Chosen.

"It's—unlivable," Sheena lied. She had seen the condition of some of the other houses and figured that this would be an appropriate answer. "At least, that's what Raine said..."

"That's terrible," Colette said. "Well, we have a ways to go yet before she needs a home... Oh, the others, that's right. Let me think..." She paused, eyes wandering to the upper left corner of their lids. "Genis took Presea to the cute little pond by his old house (I think he really likes her!), and Regal went to get cooking ingredients for dinner. Lloyd said he needed to take a walk."

"Oh," Sheena responded. She was a bit disappointed that the person she had been waiting to talk to wasn't mentioned.

Colette giggled. "You're looking for Zelos, aren't you?"

"No! What on earth would give you that idea? I came here to check up on _you_, ya little ill-ness prone angel."

"Well he's out on the back porch if you want him," Colette sang with the tone of a teasing child.

Sheena sighed with a small smile. "That's fine. I can deal with him later. I would really like to know what you're hiding, though," she said.

"Okay, but he said he was going to wait for you..." Sheena snarled. "Ah! Okay! I don't really know what it is, but it's been spreading for awhile now." Colette pushed up her sleeve and showed Sheena the green crystallized pattern. Sheena recoiled. "It's ugly, I know."

"No, Colette! It's just that I think you're... crystallizing," she replied, alarmed.

Colette flashed a grim grin. "I know. We're going to see Altessa as soon as I feel up to it. He has to make me a Rune Crest for it to go away."

"But you'll be okay, right?" Sheena asked. Colette pulled the sleeve down.

"Yeah, as soon as it's on," she answered. "You know, Sheena, I really look up to you." Despite the fact that Colette's raised bed was higher than Sheena's knees allowed, she took those words to heart.

"Y-you mean that?" she asked, blood rushing to her cheeks. "I'm really no role model."

"Of course you are! You're strong and brave, and a better fighter," Colette pointed out. "I could never be as great a person as you are... You want to keep on living and doing good." A slight pout formed on her lips.

"Well, yes, for Corrine's—Are you saying you _don't_ want to keep living?" Sheena asked, panicking again. She stood up though her legs had fallen asleep. She didn't really care about that.

"No, I do," the Chosen quickly said. "It's just that... after my soul came back, after all the seals, I really liked being me. I didn't want to die for anyone anymore; but because of that, no good can come out of me anymore." Colette grabbed her arm in the place it was hard as rock. "Karma..."

"Don't say things like that!" Sheena yelled. "Good can come out of you! You've given hope to people all over the world."

"Not anymore. They blame everything on me. They want me dead, Cruxis wants me dead, this crystal wants me dead... I wish I could go on fighting, like you. You've come up against so much, but you haven't backed down. You never falter. I wish I were like you," Colette cried. Sheena felt a wave of guilt. She wasn't who the Chosen idolized; she was a lying, cowardly killer who couldn't even make it all the way through a journey without having to replenish her light mana. And even so, she never thanked or apologized to the person who had helped her. She was weak.

"Whoa, no! Colette, you've got it all wrong. I'm not as good as you think I am," she warned. "I've used so many people to get to where I am. You don't want to be like me." She took the corner of the blanket and offered it to her; Colette accepted and wiped her tears upon it. "Besides, you've done greater things than I. You were willing to sacrifice yourself for the whole world. You contain more love for life in your little finger than I do in my entire body!"

"I—I _do_ want to help the world. I _do_ want things to be good," Colette said.

Before she could say anything else, Sheena continued: "Then you can't let this disease take you over. It's the crystal that's making you think this way. If you let it crystallize completely, we won't have our bright little angel to keep us happy."

Colette nodded. "I guess you're right," she admitted.

"Good. You ought to get some rest, then," Sheena advised. Colette smiled.

"I'll do my best," she said. "Thank you for visiting me." Sheena returned the smile and patted her on the head before returning to the stairwell.

"Get better!" she called, looking over her shoulder still. Once she returned her eyes to the stairs, though, an unexpected sight caught her off guard. "Zelos..." She rushed down the steps to meet him.

"_There_ you are, my little vixen," he addressed her. "I've been waiting for you."

"Enough with the psycho pet names, Chosen. I didn't come back for you," Sheena spat as he tried to take her in his arms. "I have to talk to you."

"You sound stressed," he said with a raise of his eyebrows. She knew what he was indicating and would not go for it, especially with... Where was Phaidra? She glanced around the room, but no glimpse of the old woman was to be found.

"Where did Colette's family go?" she asked with demanding authority.

"There seems to be something going on with Raine outside. I didn't want to deal with it, so I came in." She grabbed his hand and led him to a chair.

"Sit," she ordered. He did so, and she sat opposite him, hands folded beneath a stern chin. "No nonsense, honestly. I first want to say that I was not amused with your little joke yesterday morning. You knew it would upset me; we agreed silence on the matter."

Zelos sat back. "Yeah? Sorry. I wasn't going to say anything anyway," he apologized half-heartedly. Sheena was thoroughly not amused.

"It wasn't funny."

"Geez, sorry already! You're starting to live up to your real name," Zelos remarked with the frustration of a child. '_My real name, hah,' _thought Sheena. She knew he was referring to her title of Violent Demonic Banshee, but he had no idea that it worked doubly for her true Mizuho-given name.

"I guess you don't understand, though," she continued to lecture him. "I didn't tell you the reason why it's so important for you to shut up, or why I had to use you in the first place."

"Why you had to use me! Hunny, seriously; I know I'm the best screw you can get." He arrogantly ran his hand through his hair, characteristically. Sheena rolled her eyes.

"Yes, that's true, but it's not like that," she said. "Remember I told you I had to do this for business."

"Yeah, call it what you like. Fucking is fucking," he said bluntly. Never missed an opportunity to worship himself.

Sheena slammed her palms down on the table. "Dammit, Zelos! There's this thing in Mizuho; warriors and scouts and leaders have this thing where they contain two types of mana at once, light and dark, and I'm the same way!" she shouted, vying for his attention. His eyes finally concentrated on hers. "You see, I get stressed out because my light mana was being overcome by dark from making pacts. And I had to use you because it's the only way to erase the dark mana."

"Hey, were you stealing from my mana?" he questioned.

"I said, 'erase'. You're like the pink part of the pencil," she mocked.

"Sheena," he sighed, annoyed. "I think I understand what you're saying... I think I've heard of this somewhere before. I also think that you're treating me a bit caustically, so could you please..."

"You're just saying that because you want me to like you again!" Sheena was furious. She'd seen his plots before, and heard what he'd said to girls in Meltokio, and felt his hands in places they shouldn't be.

Zelos was intrigued. "You liked me before?"

The ninja turned beet red. He found a way through her anger to calm her down, like he always did; except this time it just threw her mind off of the subject of his immaturity. "I—I never said that!" she denied. "And I never _liked_ you anyway. I just didn't hate you before is all."

"You can't hate me, Sheena," he said. "I can make or break your reputation as a lady. I'm the only one."

She glared at him. "Why you conniving bastard!" she muttered, raising her fist. He caught it and suppressed her strength. She saw his power play, but didn't really believe he could do it; besides, she also had Raine in the know of her act. Raine would deny it. "I—I guess either way I choose I can't win, huh? I have to choose between my reputation and fronting loathing," she said in thought.

Zelos let go of her hand. He really wanted to win her over in some way, and not wickedly. He could see his method wasn't working. Sheena wasn't the easiest target, either; but he had to have her, and more securely than any of the other tramps he imagined he fancied. This was something different, he thought. "Hey... I wanted to ask: was Colette all right when you saw her? It kind of sounded like she was upset," he pitched. She bought into it.

"Well, she was worried that—" Sheena began. She lowered her voice so he could barely hear her. "She was worried that everyone wanted to kill her outside of us."

He nodded. "That's what she was worried about when I came in a few hours ago. But she wouldn't talk to me about it. Did she talk to you?"

"Yeah, I straightened things out," she said calmly. "Colette... she said I was her role model." Sheena blushed again. "I mean, I guess it's not really a good thing, but it feels weird to be admired."

"I think you make a great role model," Zelos said. Ah, yes, just where he wanted to go. "You're beautiful and steadfast; and I guess the screaming banshee in you might scare the enemies."

Then came a sound he was unfamiliar to: laughter. It was Sheena's. High, ringing laughter; he decided he rather liked this. "You are incorrigible," she said.

"So, will you accede to be on my side, or shall I begin to spread rumors?" he asked anxiously.

She smiled. "What choice have I otherwise? And I think... I think if you're sincere about compliments, I might be able to stand you."

"Great. I'm going to go check up on the half-elves!" he shouted enthusiastically, jumping out of his chair and the door before she could say otherwise.

As he left, Sheena rose as well. She hoped he would stay true to the deal; and then she realized that she hadn't gotten to explain everything she wanted. She'd have to hunt him down again... and some luck doing it. She began to march out of the house.

_'Bastard changed the subject...'_

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Um, I think that's the longest chapter, but also the worst-written. But I made sure to include some Sheelos in this chapter. I'm trying to keep the characters "in character" without too much fluff, because I'm sure after all their verbal slap-fights they wouldn't get all cuddly. Actually, sometimes it's all I can do to keep them from killing each other during this story... heh... But things will come together, I swear it.

Expect an update within the next week or so; school starts _tomorrow_

--Trickssi

PS—Please R&R! A habit for some of you, but I would like to hear of the others out there! I want to know who you are and what you think of my story!


	5. What Now, and Whither and Wherefore?

**Disclaimer**: I (still) do not own the characters of _Tales of Symphonia_, however much I wish to do so.

**Warning**: Yes, this fic will contain some more questionable stuff. That's why it's rated 'R'. So if you don't like mentions of sex or slightly offensive language, you're not old enough, or your parents would get you in trouble and kick you off of fanfiction forever if they found this, DO NOT CONTINUE. Thanks... Heh... I'm such a hypocrite.

**Pairings**: Sheelos, the regulars.

Oh lord god! I just found out from the synopsis that I'm using that if you choose not to have a good relationship with Zelos—that y-you decimate him!! I don't have the heart to get Kratos back. I really don't. I would cry for hours on end, I think. I've always loved that pervert... Well, I think I ought to have a tribute out of that little realization of mine in one of my later chapters. There could be 14-16 chapters in total from my calculations.

**Asuka Efreet**: Heh, I suppose I'm taking the "school just started" thing for granted... then again, I live in hick-town Northeast where school doesn't let out till mid-June. I'll keep my eyes open!

**potter29vo**: Oh, I know they meet up at Dirk's house, I'm just changing it because I'm omnipotent over this story. Things had to happen that way... Ah, yes, things will certainly come together for the two of them. Just not until after the Tower of Salvation, hehe.

**jellybeanz225**: Nope! You don't find out her real name in the game to my knowledge, save for Zelos's jests. I decided on what it would be mainly for irony; you'll see. Thanks for giving me a little more confidence... I'll try to make the chapters more... long-ish.

**Rin**: Thanks so much! I hope you'll like the ending (which I've written already... but I don't have anything in between O.o).

**starr**: It's an honor to be a new favorite of yours! I, too, shied away from for a few months before coming back to write. I have not seen the Flanoir scene; where in hell did you find the transcript? I've been looking all over since I saw your review, and have not found it. I would love you forever if you could tell me where you fooound iiiiiit...

**The Great Jefepato**: ::nodnod:: I always liked Zelly-o, but I _knew_ something was wrong with him before Flanoir. Thanks for noticing!

**Akarusa30991**: Thanks for reviewing! I shall continue as often as I can, as long as you read as soon as you can!

**Neko-chan**: Thank yoooou! I really like to go in depth with characters. I'm a theatre student; that probably sets me in the right mindset. I appreciate that you noticed that about my story! It makes me feel all good inside!

**White Wolverine**: It is always rewarding to hear that I'm the writer of a good story, hehe! There'll be more Sheelos in this, trust me. I think the way it turns out will be sweeter than excess of fluff spread out over time. And yes, Zelos is quite the essence of sexy.

Read it and weep! For the lack of plot...

--Trickssi

**Chapter Five: What Now, and Whither and Wherefore?**

Sheena was restless. Odd, for they had rested two nights already: once at Phaidra's, and once at Dirk's. And here it was, the close of another _restful_ day. She couldn't stand the endless reverberation of words and words between people and not being able to leap into action about it. She couldn't stand the calm before the storm. It wasn't that she didn't care for the girl immensely; it was just so tedious.

At the house of Lloyd's father, the group learned that Colette's crystal was overpowering her body. Dirk, having little knowledge of such things, was not able to heal her. Sheena felt extremely guilty when Colette didn't seem fazed by it. She felt compelled to talk to Zelos about it since he was the only other who knew of Colette's inner depression, but thought better at the last second. If given the choice to bother him about something and get a useless opinion or leave him alone, the latter. He would find some sort of blackmail. Instead, she turned to the rest of her companions and they decided together that it would be best if they saw Altessa, who seemed the defter dwarf.

Off to Tethe'alla with the Rheiards once more, they reached Altessa's in practically record timing. That probably would have been due to the fact that Sheena headed them. Discouraging news awaited them there: Chronic Angelus Crystallus Inofficium. Yes, Altessa could probably cure it, though he had not the slightest clue how. It was upon their shoulders to find the cure in the archives of Tethe'alla.

Sheena sighed deeply. The next morning they would be off to Sybak, "full of intellectual hunnies." Well at least it would get Zelos off her back temporarily. Colette was her main concern. What if what she had said had made the Chosen want to die more, or what if they couldn't find the cure in time, or what if all this waiting had slowed her down, or what if—

Oh Martel, here comes trouble.

"Zelos, go the hell away," Sheena muttered. She kept staring intently at the cliff in front of her. She didn't feel like talking at all, not with the stars awaiting her so patiently. It was soothing to look at the sky alone. Somewhere deep in her heart she knew Corrine was watching over her, waiting to give answers. Zelos was rather just _watching_ her, waiting to molest.

"I'm sorry, I just—I wanted to know why you were up. I'll go."

What? _Not_ Zelos?! Oh damn. She'd just sent away Lloyd! Please, please, please don't let him leave. "Wait, Lloyd!" She turned around to see him poised at the doorway. He walked back towards her, albeit cautiously.

"You can't sleep either, can you?" she asked. He nodded.

"Colette," they said in unison. Nervous laughter followed.

"I feel... responsible," Sheena admitted.

"For what? You didn't do anything wrong. It's not like you made Colette the way she is with this Chronic Angelus..."

"No, but..." Sheena began to protest. She realized Lloyd was sitting next to her. "Right now I'm just sitting. I know we only have a short amount of time, and I know where we're going tomorrow, but I'm still just sitting. Colette could die, and here I am... And I can't do anything about it. It's too large a task to take on by oneself, that entire library; and I'd have to break in, of course."

The boy shook his head. "Nobody could do that. Not even you." His hand was on her shoulder. Oh goddess, his arm was around her. Please don't take it off. "Colette told me how much she looks up to you, and I just wanted to say I think I know why. It must be because you stay up all night worrying about things like this. You really need to take it easy."

"Y-yeah... But we've been resting all this time! I just don't want her to die. We have to make sure she's all right," she insisted. "Colette's usually very optimistic. She never thinks about herself, always others first, and when you're around her you just feel..."

"Happy," Lloyd finished, a glaze over his eyes. Was that... was he blushing? Oh, let it be for her. "I'm going to make sure she's all right. She has to live for me... us. I can't stand the thought of losing her."

Sheena needed to know now, and now was when he would probably tell her. Use a little of that suave implication that Zelos uses so often... "You really like her, don't you?"

Lloyd nodded sheepishly. "Yeah, I care for her a lot." There went the warmth of his arm. He had recalled it to his own body and leaned back with its support. Damn. Despite the rejection Sheena felt, she couldn't let him see it. Be like Zelos.

"Ohhh, so you _do_ have a crush on her, don't you?" she asked, a grin sliding onto her mouth. Lloyd blushed furiously.

"W-well, I-I... um..."

"It's useless trying to cover, Loverboy. I know that game," she said slyly. Lies. Her entire shell was a lie. Overconfident, deceiving, cunning—but a lie.

"You won't tell her?" Lloyd asked.

Sheena shook her head. She thought of saying, 'Your secret's safe with me,' but realized that it _wouldn't_ be. It wouldn't be safe to keep thinking of how much he loved Colette more than she; she'd take the wrath out on somebody. Namely, Zelos. That wouldn't be good at all. "No, of course not. What are friends for?"

Lloyd smiled. "Thanks. You're great, Sheena. I see what Colette was talking about." A moment of awkward silence passed by, words of venom clinging in her ears. Friends. Great. Colette... "I guess we should both get some sleep, huh? I mean, it's a big library."

"Uh, yeah... I'm going to stay out for a little, though," Sheena muttered. "Thanks..."

"I'll make sure to fight twice as hard for her."

"Me too."

"Goodnight!"

"'Night."

She watched him walk away, clinking, for he was still armed. She sighed deeply. Why did _Lloyd_ have to be the caring one?! Why did he have to love Colette instead of her? Why couldn't _Zelos_ like that little angel? ... Why couldn't _Zelos_ be the caring one? If he was as thoughtful as Lloyd he'd have come out here and she could try to build a friendship, at least. Things just weren't turning out for her. She decided to go to bed after all.

'_Goodnight, Corrine...'_

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Presea... A little help!" Regal called to the pink-haired waif. He had found a book that looked promising, but due to his overly muscular build and constricted hands, he could not bend down far enough to reach it. She laughed as she approached him; how could a grown man need help reaching a book on the _bottom_ of the shelf? She retrieved it nevertheless, and handed it to him. Regal dropped it on the table and began to scan its contents. He uttered a frustrated growl at finding absolutely nothing helpful. Now, to get the book back where it belonged...

"Zelos," Raine scolded. She noticed the redhead had been looking through some rather suggestive magazines. And SMACK.

"What? What did I do?" he asked. She shook her head. "Oh. Sorry...?" He waited until she went back to her browsing until he continued "reading."

"It's not in the medical guide. I looked up all my symptoms," Colette told Sheena, who nodded.

"Presea!"

"Zelos!"

"Lloyd IRVING!!"

"Hey guys, I think Mithos found something!" Genis yelled through the clamor. Needless to say the occupants of the library were quite irked. The travelers ran to Mithos's side as he perused a big book.

"Marvelous," Raine remarked over his shoulder. "It says that one of Mithos the hero's companions contracted Chronic Angelus Crystallus Inofficium. He was healed..."

"And?" they all chimed in.

"It doesn't say how it's healed."

A collective sigh was heard from everyone. "We've tried every single book we could find," Lloyd said, feeling rather shot down.

"What are we going to do?" Genis asked as Mithos closed the book gently. Everyone's mind wandered to other options, but none seemed safe for Colette.

"I know," Mithos said at length. "Tethe'alla Castle has some records of the Ancient Kharlan War in their archives. Maybe the cure is there."

Colette smiled widely. "Yay!"

"Why don't you come with us, Mithos?" Genis suggested.

The blonde half-elf shook his head. "No, I ought to be heading home. It's not safe for me." Genis pouted.

"He's right," Raine said. "We don't want him to get in any unnecessary trouble."

"Siiiiis," the boy whined. "Please?"

"Really, it's okay. I need to get home anyway. Thank you for letting me come along, though!" Mithos said. "'Bye, Genis!"

Genis waved his hand at the exiting boy. "'Bye..." Raine returned the book to its shelf.

"Come on. We have to get going. We don't know how much longer Colette has," Sheena ordered. She began to lead everyone outside as they agreed. Quickly they mounted their Rheiards. '_Finally, some action,'_ she thought. She was about ready to kill someone from all the dust that got in her eyes from the books. The open air suited her nicely.

Meltokio wasn't far; just across the bridge and then perhaps a mile. Sheena observed her companions looking determined or anxious, or disappointed in Genis's situation. But Zelos looked calculating, and a bit on the nervous side. She decided three days was enough to talk to him again, and so, reared up her Rheiard next to his.

"What's wrong?" she asked. He snapped to attention.

"Hn? Nothing's wrong," he scoffed. "I'm just apprehensive that they're not going to... let us see the documents. You need special permission from the King to look at their archives, you know."

"Oh," Sheena said. "Well, you can kiss up to get us permission, can't you? I mean, you're the Chosen and all... You must have some power to view the books."

Zelos winked at her. "Hell yeah I can get us in. But I think you're the one who's got to do the kissing..."

"You—!!" She angrily drove her Rheiard as far away from him as possible without leaving the group. She really, really wished that he was like Lloyd sometimes. Although, she wasn't on the best of terms with him either.

Within time, Sheena and her companions reached Meltokio, still off limits concerning the main gate.

"I still don't understand why Zelos was out all night!" Colette complained to Sheena. The ninja blushed. So naïve. Hopefully when this was all done somebody would teach her about what goes on in the thriving world.

"You'll understand when you're—older," she explained. Genis laughed.

"Older? Haha, I know _now_! It means he likes to slee—"

"All right! All right, haha," Sheena silenced him by forcing her hand over his mouth. Colette held her confused countenance.

"He likes to sleep? Well then why is he out so late?" she inquired innocently.

"Um... Okay, look, we can't quick jump this time. Why don't we try to figure out the way through?" Sheena attempted to swerve the topic. She walked forward, trying to avoid Colette.

"Wait! I don't get it!" she persisted, tugging Sheena's arm. "Please tell me!"

Sheena sighed desperately. She was trapped. Better make it good. "Zelos used to have sleepover parties..."

"That's not so bad. Why were you blushing?"

'_Augh, you infantile... I can't be mad at her. It's not like she would figure it out if I explained further, is it? She might as well hear it now and make sense of it when this is all over.'_ "Um... because... there were lots of girls there? Yes. Zelos had sleepover parties with girls... and he had lots of different girlfriends. And that's wrong."

"You're just jealous 'cause you weren't invited," Zelos bragged, playing along with that ever-so-famous deviousness, "Until recently." Sheena's cheeks were now the color of Lloyd's clothing. She glared daggers at him, but Colette didn't seem to notice. Even Presea rolled her eyes at the redhead.

"Aww, he let you sleep over? That's so cute!" she exclaimed. Zelos gave a playful punch at Sheena's arm.

"We had lots of fun, except she wouldn't really talk to me and she fell asleep early," he teased, alluding slightly to their intimacy. "I think she's afraid I like my other girlfriends more than her..."

"I am **_not_** your girlfriend, you impossible bastard!" Sheena screeched at him. _'Just because you sleep with me doesn't mean you have the right to call me that!'_ She tried so hard to hold in her anger for fear of saying something she didn't want anyone to hear.

Raine had been watching the scene play out, and knowing what she knew, decided to intervene. "What Zelos means is that you're a girl and you're his friend," the Professor stepped in. It was all childish symbolism for the real problem.

"Then maybe this girl who's your friend should be treated—"

Clacking footsteps from ahead interrupted Sheena's sentence. Everyone silenced, and hid in the shadows. Presea squinted from her position near the back of the cluster, deciding to step closer. Her brilliant eyes confirmed what she had thought all along.

"Vharley..."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Hm, no surprise that I completely hate school for prolonging this update. Sorry, another short one. I promise more Sheelos in the next chapter; it'll be easier since Sheena doesn't really like Lloyd anymore. Plus, Zelos gets brownie points for Spiritua.

I'll try as hard as I can to update... Maybe Thursday. We have off for Rosh Hashanah or something because there's a large Jewish population in my area. I'll get around to it eventually... Update in a week or less!

--Trickssi

PS—Please R&R! Again, I value your opinions...


	6. Miscalculations and Trials

**Disclaimer**: I (still) do not own the characters of _Tales of Symphonia_, however much I wish to do so.

**Warning**: Yes, this fic will contain some more questionable stuff. That's why it's rated 'R'. So if you don't like mentions of sex or slightly offensive language, you're not old enough, or your parents would get you in trouble and kick you off of fanfiction forever if they found this, DO NOT CONTINUE. Thanks... Heh... I'm such a hypocrite.

**Pairings**: Sheelos, the regulars.

Another day, another chapter. Ish. I've taken to writing in the dark with my smelly pen again, and I've also given Zelos a little nickname in the margins: Z-Lo! Except it's pronounced "Zay-loh". Of course. Thought up in the depths of algebra class as I doodled up my homework. Mm. It's always nice to look at a bishie in class when one needs entertainment. That aside, I hope you'll find the Sheelos in this chapter more fulfilling. Really.

**starr**: You are exceedingly fantabulous, miraculous, amazing. Thank you SO MUCH for finding that site for me! Not only does it show Zelos's background more than I got to see the first time 'round, but it provides a look into all of the other characters' thoughts. I've read almost all of them and they're going to help a whole lot. And don't you worry. Zelos will be loved. Eventually.

**OCD**: Thank you! Zelos was intended to act like an asshole, hehe. Watch and find out what happens neeeeext...

**jellybeanz225**: Ah, thank you again, as always! I'll try to update more. I swear!!

**Rin**: Heh, want to join my coalition against public schools? I'm glad you're excited! (It keeps you coming back, heh heh...) I've done my job, then. However, I think the only chapter that'll be of a redeemable length could be 2nd time around Heimdall and thereafter... Sorry!

**potter29vo**: Hehe, yep, next chapter! Man, I hate it when the computer crashes in the middle of writing! I usually have a written version of what I've typed, but lately I haven't been doing it as much... Whenever the programs stall it scares me... Have fun checkin' out all the other fics! They're getting better, the good ones; and as for newcomers... well... We're starting to have Mary Sues already. Something must be done!! Oh, and add me to the Sheelos list (I'm a gigantic fan, it's just not in the fic _yet_)!

Again, I'm sorry if nearly all of the dialogue is incorrect, though I doubt you guys'll care. I have no time to go back and play the game until that point and I like it better my way anyway. Continue... 58 chance of reading entire chapter... 36 chance of review... ::pouts in Presea mode::

--Trickssi

**Chapter Six: Miscalculations and Trials**

"Vharley..." Genis held out an arm to stop Presea. It was indeed the Exsphere dealer, standing unaware of the rather large formation of people in the shadows. Seemingly a figure from the church was receiving something from him, a vial of sorts.

"What the—? Oh god, why is the Pope involved in _everything_?" Zelos thought aloud.

"I trust the King will be dead within a week, then?" Vharley continued in his conversation with the Pope's servant. "No more of this waiting."

"Of course, of course. I'll get to that right away." The papal servant turned to hurry off. Sheena noticed Lloyd was tense, wide-eyed. He was about to do something stupid. Valiant, but stupid, as always. She wouldn't stop him this time; she didn't exactly love the King, but she respected him enough that she wanted him to live. Go ahead, Lloyd.

"Stop!" Right on cue, except it was Presea who broke the discussion with the head of her axe falling upon the cold stones. The broker and the servant watched as she appeared out of seemingly nowhere; that didn't stop the poison from escaping, leaving Vharley to the mercy of the group.

"Yo, what do you think you're doing?" Zelos asked threateningly. Sheena knew he had his own vendetta with the Pope, but she hadn't expected him to act out about it. He had always let everyone else do the work. "I knew something was wrong when the King got sick. He's never sick. How's it happening, through his food?"

Vharley's face warped wickedly. "Precisely. Never thought a hopeless Chosen like you would figure it out," he replied. Zelos's brow furrowed.

"You're not going to live to find out what happens next," Presea said, gripping her axe.

"O ho ho! What now, is my little experiment going to challenge me?"

The young girl snarled (which Sheena was unaware she was able of). "You stole my years, Vharley. I will never get them back. You deserve to die!"

"It is beyond wrong to use people like that," Regal said. "I was forced to kill the one I loved because of you."

"Fight me, if you will. You will perish."

Suddenly, Presea ran at him, weapon raised again. This was war. A battle ensued, but Sheena decided to stay out of it. Presea and Regal had to settle this themselves, with help from Lloyd who was just a kind person. Kind, yes; hers, no. Lloyd was property of Colette now but that didn't mean Sheena couldn't admire him still. After all, he was better than that perverted rascal, Zelos. Zelos, who fought alongside the three with a vengeance. She guessed he didn't like being called 'hopeless.' It was actually kind of amusing to watch him fight.

'_He calls that an attack?'_ she thought. _'I hope his healing skills are better than that. Look, Zelos, he's open right there! Oh, Lloyd got him first. Too slow. What's the matter, can't take the heat of a stubby little brute? Jeez, I can't wait to see what happens when your kids grow up. You'll only be able to take care of 'em until they're what, three? Then even _they'll_ have better attacks than you!'_ Then again, he was rather attractive when he fought. He wasn't ripped like Regal, sure, but he was muscular enough; and something about long hair turned her on. Not mullet-y hair like Regal's. Zelos's hair. If Vharley destroyed even a strand of that hair, it would certainly be his last day.

'_Oh. Oh well, I guess it's his last day anyway..._' Presea had finished him off with a slicing blow to the chest.

"I'll never get my years back," she said softly. Then passed a moment of silence; perhaps for lost time, or for the completion of revenge, or for all the pain that Vharley had caused her and Regal. Finally, the scraping of metal being sheathed was heard, and Sheena felt she could breathe again. It had been rather awkward being in a situation where she did not belong.

"So, are we going to head off that servant of the Pope or what?" asked the Summoner.

"That's a good idea," Lloyd replied. "We'll be able to save the King from further illness!"

Zelos shifted uneasily. "But it sounds like he's been poisoning the King for some time. We'll need the antidote, and I think only one person has that... the Pope."

"We can't just go out on a limb to reveal the Pope while time is being wasted on Colette's recovery," Raine said, nearly stealing the words from Sheena's mouth. Although it would have sounded like arrogant banter if she had said it, it was true.

"I think it's the only way. We need permission from the King to access the documents we need, and he'd think better of me if I showed him the Pope was misjudging me."

"Well then, let's head to the Martel Cathedral!" Lloyd shouted excitedly. Always ready for a new adventure, and then getting jaded five minutes in.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"What a wuss," Zelos sneered through his teeth. They had just skewered a couple of Papal Knights who had attempted to cover for the Pope's escape.

"Got any plans, genius?" Sheena asked cynically. Seriously. It was time to get permission for those documents, and now. Even this precious hour of running around could have affected Colette.

Colette...!

She had fallen backwards again, right onto her bottom. Her wings came forth in a burst of light. "Colette! Are you all right?" shouted the voice of the Professor.

"Yeah, I'm fine, don't worry about me," Colette replied, brushing herself off and standing up.

"S-S-Spiritua!" one of the Knights shrieked. "It's the second coming of Spiritua!"

"The rumors must be true! We have condemned the Chosen too profusely!" the other agreed.

Zelos suddenly had an idea. Nobody else knew the difference between the Angel of Death and Colette, the evolved Chosen of Sylvarant. Hell, nobody here knew about Sylvarant at all. Perhaps it would gain them permission to the documents. "O... Of course they are! Here she is, Spiritua herself! And it's all because you're shunning me."

"Zelos!" Sheena hissed. "What do you think you're doing?"

"I'm not—" Colette began. She rose to a level higher than everyone else, trying to get a better view of the situation.

"O Great Spiritua! We will do whatever you desire!" the Knights pleaded. Zelos turned to Colette.

"Just do as I say, okay? Play along," he whispered. "Tell them that you want me to be accepted into the church."

"Um, let Ze—the Chosen into the Church of Martel," she repeated warily. The Papal servants groveled.

"Yes, O Great Spiritua! We shall eradicate any prior marks on the Chosen's record."

"Good! Now," Zelos continued in place of the angel, "your beloved Pope has been giving the King poison. And that's not very nice. As the Chosen, with all my god-given good looks and irrepressible powers, I demand that you arrest the Pope for attempted assassination."

"As you say, Chosen!" one of the Knights assented. He and the other high-tailed it in the direction the church's headmaster had fled, and Zelos turned to the group smugly.

"Well, that oughta do it for them. Thank Martel."

"Wow, Zelos! That was amazing! How did you do that?" Colette asked in slight wonderment. She retracted her wings as they were now unneeded.

Zelos ran a hand through his immaculate hair characteristically. "Oh, you know. It's a little myth going around in Meltokio about the second coming of Spiritua, the Angel of Death. It happened once (long time ago of course) and especially the church is freaked out about it. I just used the situation to my advantage." Sheena noticed that she had been rather impressed with the redhead's manipulation of the system. She also noticed she was blushing, something she tried to cover up by pretending she needed to fix her hair. Her face was downcast as her hands retied the ribbon.

_'What's wrong with you, Sheena? Honestly, first Lloyd and now... _him_ of all people. He just lied to the church! You don't find something wrong with that? Lord, you _must_ be PMS.'_

Sheena's thoughts were broken by Lloyd's nearly pre-pubescent voice. "Come on! We have to get the antidote to the King right away!" The others nodded and they began to walk about the palace; Sheena stayed near the back to let her thoughts wander.

_'So maybe that's why Zelos is such a bastard... Shunned by the church because of the fact he was born. I can't imagine being his family. How could you let such a cute kid lose self-esteem from the church? ... Not like I've ever seen him as a kid. I don't thi—'_

"na... Sheena... Hey, sexy!" Zelos shouted to get her attention. Luckily she didn't really pay attention to that last comment.

"Um, yeah... What is it this time?" she said, trying to gain her verbal footing. He had dropped to the end of the cluster to talk to her and she might as well attempt conversation.

"Eh, you just looked like you were thinking. I like a hunny with brains." She glared. "No, really, what's on your mind? You got a problem with the Pope, too?"

"No, it's just that... I was... _impressed_ by your display of application back there," she replied bashfully.

"Really?" Zelos asked. It surprised even him that he wasn't wholly sure of this admiration. He didn't quite know what to say next. Was Sheena serious? "Uh, it was nothing. Just using people to my advantage like always, heh heh..."

"No, it was very clever. I mean... for a philanderer like you who only knows how to use a woman," Sheena retorted curtly. This was indeed awkward; she was being coerced into revealing a little more than she wanted to. Not that there was anything to reveal. Was there?

"Sticks and stones, my lovely," he replied. "Suit yourself." He pushed his way to the front again, a mite discouraged.

There was something different about him then, something... Sheena shrugged. It beat her why he didn't try to keep bothering her after she insulted him. Maybe it was because she wasn't really insulting him. But did he know? Everything was so... confusing. He seemed distant, but he never was really that close. She had to investigate. Worries about Colette on hold, she would have to find out if this little jump in her heart was trying to tell her something...

Maybe she _had_ underestimated Zelos.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Sorry, another shortie. Couldn't help it. I know, it's boring for me, too.

Hm. It's like... I get a sudden rush of inspiration and I could write for days, and then when I'm called to do so, I can't. Maybe I should stop writing the end of the story first, 'cause now I have to go back and do all the boring bits. I think you'll like the coming chapter 8 or 9, that's Flanoir. And then of course what comes after that will be interesting, you know. Somebody make me SWEAR that I'm going to finish this. I can't disappoint you guys... It's fluffy at the end!

--Trickssi

PS—Please R&R! I looooove yooooou...

PPS—In writing a chapter that follows, my smelly pen... ::sniffle:: has died.


	7. Of Snakes and Stalkers

**Disclaimer**: I (**_still_**) do not own the characters of _Tales of Symphonia_, however much I wish to do so.

**Warning**: Yes, this fic will contain some more questionable stuff. That's why it's rated 'R'. So if you don't like mentions of sex or slightly offensive language, you're not old enough, or your parents would get you in trouble and kick you off of fanfiction forever if they found this, DO NOT CONTINUE. Thanks... Heh... I'm such a hypocrite.

**Pairings**: Sheelos, etc.

Wow, I'm sorry that took so freaking long. I've taken to, guess what, playing ToS again from my file... it was saved at Asgard last Friday, and I've played up until the content of this very chapter... Wasting my weekend away on videogames. I need to make a shirt that says that. Seriously. And I hate this citrus air freshener. It's making me sick... So those are my excuses of the week(s)!

Oh, and I got in the school play, MASH. Although it's dumb. And I only got ensemble, but that's because I didn't like the characters anyway. "Somebody stole my cat..." Oh, and YAY 45 REVIEWS! I think I feel a song coming on...

**potter29vo**: Arm jumping abound! Eventually... Heh, I think once the pace of the story picks up, so will my updates.

**starr**: Ah, thanks much! Now that I think about it, the dialogue is a bit hackneyed from its overuse in fanfiction lately. It's a good incentive for me to be... creative... So why am I still procrastinating...?

**Frozen-Harpie-Mimi**: Hullo! Thanks for your review! Better to catch on later than never, though, eh?

**Neko-chan**: ::sniffle:: Smelly Pen... I'm sure he's looking down on us from pen-heaven, or wherever... Heh. This reminds me of Corrine. Anyway... I'm quite flattered to be called "godly"! Thank you!!

**Rin**: Eheheh... Yeah, like I said, I'm _trying_ to update, really I am! I always feel guilty when I don't... my shoulder-reviewers haunt me... O.O;;

**Lady Kumiko**: Ooo, looks like I've done my job, then! Thank you very much for stoppin' by to review.

**Chosen**: Yup, Zelos is horribly misunderstood. I think you'll enjoy my connection of loose ends in the Flanoir chapter... And it's hard as hell to update during this time of year, so don't take it so hard on yourself for not updating as much. I sympathize!

**Kitten Kisses**: Hehe, you're silly! And very perceptive, I might add. I never tried going back to Altessa's, but I'll make sure I do this time around. ::ahem:: And I _swear_ I'll finish it. ::throws money and runs into a corner with notebook::

Don't you love sidequests?

--Trickssi

**Chapter Seven: Of Snakes and Stalkers **

It was going to happen sooner or later. The regular things: Colette's clumsiness, Genis's whining, Lloyd's innate ability to become jaded a minute after the beginning of a quest, Raine's reprimanding. And of course, the return of Kuchinawa.

The group had continued in their search for the remedy after receiving permission from the King. It had seemed hopeless; more poring over books, just like in Sybak, and more waiting for things to happen. Thanks to Colette, the documents had been found rather quickly... although the mess would have to be taken care of by the maids of the castle later. They set off for the Lezareno base in Altamira immediately.

Sheena had noticed that while they were scouring the texts of the Ancient War, Zelos had been turning to pages irrelevant to their situation. However, she only knew how to make out an "S" in the ancient language, because Colette tried to teach her how to spell her name on one of those lonely camp nights. There appeared to be five or six letters in the title of the page Zelos examined, the "S" being the last. She hadn't bothered to ask him then because it could be something naughty that the children's virgin ears should not hear, but it had been corroding her ever since then. It was one of those times, again, riding on the Rheiards, that she was sitting and waiting for the next checkpoint when she began to ponder it again.

That's when it hit her—Zelos was being secretive. That's what was wrong with him. She couldn't place it any time before now, but it was definitely the answer. She had indeed known him before this journey, met him in the Elemental Research Laboratory where Corrine was born. He seemed... kinder, somehow. He was still rude, crude, and obnoxious, but it was up front at least. She recalled back at the Tethe'alla Renegade Base when he had wandered off... He never could explain it smoothly. He had always sidestepped the question, always sidestepping when it came to that sort of thing. It really started to bother her. She would find out what this was...

Later.

There was the gigantic tower of a hotel that belonged to Altamira, the gaudiest resort she had ever had the misfortune to examine. And there, Lezareno. Thank goodness Regal, leading them, had decided to veer from the entrance with its bunny-tailed playgirls and go straight to the business building.

Inside, the manager, George, was playing solitaire on the counter. His wrinkled face had obviously seen better days, and it seemed he was losing against himself again. Should have learned to play chess for the company it offered.

"George," Regal addressed him. The man snapped his head up in time to see the shackled president approach the desk.

"Oh, Master Regal, lovely to see you again!" he greeted quickly, mixing his cards up in a pile to be shoved into a drawer. Regal smirked; George had always been like this, even in the current sobering times. "What brings you back to Lezareno so soon?"

Regal glanced back at his comrades. "As you can see, I'm not back for good. I'll need to find some records on our latest outgoing shipments," he said.

"Of course, Master Regal. I'll open the records room right away," George promised, grabbing the keys from his belt and heading to the elevator. Regal motioned for the others to follow. "Who are these companions of yours?"

"Companions, and that's all. I need them to help me with the search. You know how large that room is." George nodded, not bothering to question further. He trusted the president's judgment... enough. But there was one time when—he wouldn't go into it.

'_Zircon, zircon, zircon. Starts with a Z, and here I am, over at A_,' Sheena thought to herself, rapidly paging through the file cabinets of the records room. She dashed to the opposite end of the room in hopes that it would mean the end of the alphabet.

Zy, Zu, Zo... Zi. Ziv, Ziu, Zith... Zircon. She _knew_ she had the knack for scanning and finding text quickly. Jan, Feb, March... August. Zircon shipments in August. Bingo.

"I found it!" she hollered behind her, closing the other cabinets which did not contain the zircon documents.

"Bring it over here," Lloyd ordered. Sheena looked over at him, distracted. Of course his concern was for Colette, and of course he was happy that the document was found, but... she silently still wished that he liked her more than a friend. She smiled superficially and turned her head back to where the document was; or rather, should have been.

There before her, garbed in red, was the very Snake whom she had hoped to outrun at the Otherworldly Gate. In his hand he held the singular page which contained the information about the material, and in his eyes was a very inauspicious glint.

"Well, well... What have we here?" Kuchinawa said. He apparently wasn't aware of how incredibly trite the phrase sounded.

"Kuchinawa," Sheena spat in confirmation. They had honestly outrun him by strength back there, so why had he even bothered to spoil their plans now. Perhaps since the Pope's little army was being dispersed he had to go on his own. How pathetic. "Hand over the paper, you abhorrent snake."

"Give me one decent reason why I shouldn't just kill all of you," he sneered. The paper in his hand was becoming wrinkled from his abrasive grip.

"This is between you and me." Sheena broke her glare and glanced sideways at Colette. The angel, Lloyd, Presea, Regal, the half-elves, Zelos... She could never endanger them again. Even Kuchinawa's existence threatened them; if he was to join forces with Cruxis, the added grudge would give him priority to murder them. They were so close to unification. All could not be lost so suddenly. And as for Colette, she simply could not perish from her angelic ailment. She wouldn't let it happen. Sheena spoke again, "If you're seeking vengeance take it out on me and me alone."

Zelos watched apprehensively, not knowing whether to speak out or not. The guy was with the Pope, which stirred anger, as well as the fact that he had tricked Sheena into camaraderie. He certainly didn't want anything bad to happen to her, but he couldn't let that be shown. He had two images to keep up that wouldn't allow it. The stronger sides of him won.

"Is that a challenge?" Kuchinawa asked haughtily. It was what he wanted from the start. Kill her.

"Give me back the paper," Sheena commanded.

"Oh, I shall, on this condition: we conduct a duel. If you win, you get the document and your life. If I win, your little 'save the world' escapade is over for all of you. Got it?"

"Ah, I," she stuttered. She couldn't back out of it now. Not that she wanted to forfeit Colette's cure; indeed, it was the opposite. She wanted to live, and so much so because of the angel's influence. Colette had told her not to make the same mistakes she did in wanting to become a sacrifice. It seemed that she had no other choice but to put her life on the line for those about which she cared the most. "It's just that it would be improper and indicative of heresy to the Igaguri style if it were carried out now. I'll fight you later, but you have to surrender the document _now_."

"And how do I know the baby summoner won't go back on her word?" he mocked.

Sheena began to feel the blood rushing to her cheeks. She had to think quickly. What was the system that her grandfather had used to make her keep her promises when she was young... Collateral, that was it. Some object close to her (her shoes, for instance. He had once made her trade her shoes for a card which she had forgotten to bring to her lessons) that she would need before she went on her way.

It hit her. It would hurt her to do it, but it would hurt her more if she didn't. _Corrine, forgive me, but I need you to save me again._

She drew the bell from her obi and showed it to Kuchinawa. "This is collateral. You have my word that I will return and confront you properly when this is all over," she told him. "I won't run away anymore.

"Corrine's bell... I see." He stood contemplating this for a moment before reaching out for it. "I accept. But if you do not come, I will grind this bell into dust."

Sheena swallowed. "I know."

She exchanged the bell for the document simultaneously, and Kuchinawa went on his way in a cloud of smoke. From the absence of the bell she would never forget that she was not through with her journey. Condemning Corrine for Colette's sake... Having to face Kuchinawa... She sometimes wished that the journey would fail so she wouldn't have to deal with things the way they were.

"That was incredibly generous of you, Sheena," Raine said at last. The paper plummeted from Sheena's hand to the carpeting.

"What?" she asked, trying to remember what happened before those thoughts. "Oh, right... Um... It's nothing, just..." She swallowed hard. Why did she feel like she was going to cry? She wasn't, that's right. She couldn't cry because everything was happy. They had found the zircon records and Colette was going to be all right.

Sheena picked up the paper and handed it to Regal. There were a myriad of names and figures which she couldn't begin to decipher.

"It appears the last shipment was to Sybak's Imperial Research Academy," he said quickly.

"Let's go!" Lloyd shouted. He was newly motivated by the promise of zircon. (Genis began to tally in his head how long it took until the swordsman was jaded again.)

Zelos hung back, waiting for everyone else to exit the room first. In a state of confusion, he let out a sigh. "Won't... 'run away anymore'... Dammit." He ran his hand through his hair, though now the gesture was in frustration. "What should I do?"

Racing out of the company, the group caught the ferry just in time for its departure. There was still plenty of time for them to arrive in Sybak and begin to ask for the permit from the King to enter Heimdall. On the way out of Altamira, Sheena imagined she saw a familiar face to her right. She glanced over to see the back of what seemed to be a child's head of light red hair. She could have sworn she saw this person before, but couldn't seem to recall exactly where. It must have been in one of the cities of their journey, yes, that's it. It had to have been a fleeting location. But wherever it was, she had gotten the impression that this child, this _thing_, had been watching her. She immediately tossed her head in the other direction.

"What's up, my little vixen?" Zelos's voice interrupted her thoughts. "You look worried."

"N-nothing! Nothing at all! Leave me alone," she said, eyes intent on the ground.

"Whoa, fine. I was just going to say I'm sorry about what happened back there. You're brave to face Kuchinawa like that. It's better than any little Spiritua stunt I could pull off," he told her in a sobered tone.

"What do you mean? I just gave up my only memoir of Corrine for a promise I have to break!" The stinging returned to her eyes. She had to keep walking, keep thinking of what had to come next.

"If I know you at all you're going to go back there and kick Kuchinawa's ass. He shouldn't be after your blood because of an accident you couldn't control. Even _I'm_ not that cold-hearted. And hey, whatever will be, will be. It's not determined by your past," Zelos lectured. Sheena slowed her walking from its grueling, frustrated rate. He had hit basically every incident in her life which pained her, but he was right. She didn't feel like cursing or storming away, or crying for that matter. Something in the manner he spoke harmonized with the chords struck within her. Spontaneity wasn't the cause of his words.

He sighed and hastened his pace, her expression being the most awkward and blunt dismount of a conversation he had ever known. "Wait," she called. The redhead looked back. "Thanks..."

Zelos was about to smile in joy that something he tried with her had actually worked; but instead, it flipped sideways into a smirk. This was his opportunity to present his façade. "No problem. But you know, even if you do lose, I'm willing to stand in as your pet!"

SMACK.

Not like he didn't deserve it... Although now that he had inspired her, it wasn't easy to disregard the good in him despite the idiot that leaked through.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

After receiving Hilda's father's letter as a permit for Heimdall in Meltokio, Sheena was left feeling a little wary. That face she thought she had seen in Altamira was following her again through the shadows of the buildings. Whoever it was was really sneaky, and knew that stalkers ate at her nerves. During Sheena's first time in Meltokio, Zelos followed her around. She was only twelve, but it scared her to this day; if Zelos ever found out that she feared him at one time, it would all be over. Come to think of it, the stalker slightly resembled Zelos. Or was this all in her head? Was it some subtle message that he was looking out for her or something? She never understood waking illusions. She didn't intend to. She didn't want her subliminal thoughts to involve Zelos... yet.

Upon reaching the Latheon Gorge, she saw it again. "There it is!"

"What?"

"Dammit, it just left..."

"What are you talking about?" Colette asked.

"There's something there... Something's watching me. Something _has_ been watching me. It's kind of creepy," Sheena explained. "Whenever I let my guard down, I see it. I can't tell if it's real or just in my head."

"That _is_ a bit weird. I'm sure it's nothing. Maybe the pollen's going to your head, or maybe it's just so pretty here you're hallucinating," the girl suggested.

Sheena shrugged. "Yeah, maybe you're right..." She didn't bother to go into how she had seen it before; it would only worry Colette.

It seemed an endless barrage of Kirima and Amango before they reached the top of Latheon Gorge, residence of the Storyteller, or as Zelos would coin, the "storyteller dude". Of course, without trouble, Lloyd and the others used the elf's words to find the Mana Leaf Herb; and need I say having the crap beaten out of you by a plant is nearly worse than having it beaten out of you by a machine, so their quest was accomplished quickly. (Though, memories of that defense system in the Toize Valley Mine haunt Lloyd to this day.) They returned promptly to the house at the top of the cliff.

The group sat down respectively in front of the Storyteller as he began to weave the tale of Mithos. "He was born just there, in the village of Heimdall. He was a half-elf."

Raine's face fell. "And thusly exiled; am I correct?"

"Yes, but he was still a hero," Genis said under his breath, a hope fading.

"Correct. As the Ancient Kharlan War began, half-elves were mistreated horribly. Mithos was ostracized, and thus decided to rebel against the humans and elves. He, his sister, and two friends sought to bring peace to the world; that is why they set out to win the war," the Storyteller continued. "The names of his companions were Martel, Yuan, and Kratos."

"Kratos?!" Lloyd shouted in disbelief. "Yuan and Kratos, our enemies?"

"And Martel as well?" Colette asked. She knit her brow in confusion. The Goddess Martel had been alive?

"You are familiar with these names," the elf noted.

"They're angels of Cruxis, our enemy," Presea explained.

"I suppose you would be enlightened to hear the rest of the tale." The clamor that had arisen within the group calmed. "Mithos became Yggdrasill, the leader of Cruxis. He created both of these worlds in hopes that half-elves would rule; created this system of vying mana to watch people suffer and fail."

Colette began to tear up. "Who could do such a thing? That's horrible!" she exclaimed.

"Colette, you don't understand," Genis said. "Half-elves have been discriminated against since the dawn of time."

"But why...?" Lloyd asked. "Why half-elves, and not just elves or humans?"

"Our blood is tainted. We were born with this blood instead of pure elvish blood," Raine answered.

"Just because you have different blood you're labeled that way?"

"It was because he was discriminated against that he had to make the worlds as such," the Storyteller continued.

"I still don't—" Lloyd sighed heavily and restarted: "Just because of the way you were born and raised you shouldn't be discriminated against!"

"It's a horrible thing, but it is the way things work," the Storyteller said. A weighted silence fell upon the group.

Raine rose. "Thank you, but I think we've heard enough."

After leaving the house, the group proceeded descend the trail. "Someone's birth and upbringing," Zelos said to himself. Sure as hell wasn't born crooked, but brought up...

"I know. It's horrible," Sheena sympathized, referring to Mithos. "_How_ could someone do that?!"

Zelos bit his lip hard. It was so difficult not to relate Mithos to himself, or untangle the difference between Mithos and himself, or hold the secret about Genis's friend, or hold the secret about himself... "Yeah... I don't know."

Sheena smiled, noticing his external concern. "I didn't know you could be serious sometimes. It's nice, actually," she said.

"Well, I, uh—I mean, this is a pretty grave situation, don't you think? I'll be back to my regular self in awhile."

"... Try to hold off on that." The look in Sheena's eyes... He was reflected in an encompassing ray of respect in her eyes then. It disgusted him. He had longed for her to see him with those eyes, as she had seen Lloyd, pleading eyes... but he had to throw it out the window. Forget about her, man. She's too good for you in so many ways. He threw an apathetic smile back at her for the sake of courtesy; she would never discern him from that.

"I suppose we should camp up here tonight," the Professor said, breaking the newfound silence in that way only she could manage. "It's getting darker out and one of us might slip and get hurt."

"Good idea," Lloyd agreed.

Zelos was still unsettled about the plan. Could he carry it out? He hadn't gotten to Sheena quite yet. There was no emotional attachment yet, right? He hoped he wasn't coming off as wanting it, though he did, and deeply. A double façade as always; not even a coin rivaled the number of sides he possessed. But he was still a human being with human emotions. Was he really going to be another pawn of Yggdrasill, like Yuan and Kratos and Martel? He would need to wait until later to be sure.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

In her lifetime Sheena could honestly say that this sort of event occurred only once throughout the history of the world. She had woken up because of the dire need to pee in the middle of the night; she hated it when that happened. Thankfully, the area being full of foliage, she might finally have had some privacy (though the others were always sleeping anyway). She sulkily trudged from her bedroll to some bushes far enough from the campsite not to provoke intruders but close enough that the light of the fire still shone somewhat.

She was always taught never to let her guard down. However, Mizuho never took into account that a stalker might suddenly appear as you are trying to pee.

"Stop right there," the voice came from behind. Indeed it was the stalker: small of build, red of hair, unorthodox of tactics.

"What the hell—? I _really_ don't have time for this right now," Sheena muttered. "Who are you and why do you keep following me already? Is there something you want?"

"You evil witch..." said the girl. Sheena was thoroughly confused; she had never seen this person before in her entire life save for the stalking.

"I don't even—"

"I'll teach you to seduce my brother!!" she shouted. Not only did the summoner have to worry about the sound traveling, but now the vengeful girl was readying a clumsy-looking sword. And she hadn't even the faintest idea of whose sister this was.

"Who the hell are you?" she asked, dodging the first swing with drowsiness still clinging to her movements. She pulled out her cards of Yaksa in defense. There was no option but to fight, despite her full bladder and the overpowering desire to run. Crazy stalker people can be deadly.

The stalker-girl growled and swung the sword again. Her lack of skill was obvious; she probably stole the blade from her brother, whoever he was. Sheena blocked the hit again. This sort of blade she had seen before, somewhere. Probably in a monster battle or something, but she knew she had had sideways blows dealt with it in battle. Who was it that she could have seduced?! She had closed herself off completely from every male save for those in her village, and those were work partners. 'Seduce' would be far off the target from 'converse'. And besides, she would know this stalker if the brother was from Mizuho. Clearly it was somewhere else, and clearly the seduction was not mutual. Just—who the hell?!

That was it. Sheena had to pee, plain and simple, and this girl would not get in her way. The unskilled stalker got a nasty blow to the head with one of her seals and was knocked out in front of her. She quickly stored her seals and went about her business, returning to the campsite thereafter. The stalker wouldn't recover before she woke up, so there was no danger there. Although, it was a bit more difficult to get back to sleep.

Who was that girl, and who was her brother? The question plagued her until she decided that she could not function on four hours' sleep alone.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Just finished writing the Flanoir scene... although I really should be concentrating on what's right in front of me... Heh heh...

Cookies to anyone who can figure out what level vocab book I have from examining the words in this chapter. Cookies also to those perceptive of the six-letter word ending in an "s" that Zelos was searching for (it's kind of easy... you guys are smart anyway).

--Trickssi

PS—Please R&R! Show your faces or I'll hunt you down! ::Stepford Wives Smile ™::

PPS—Does anyone else pronounce "Yuan" as "Juan"(the Spanish way)? If you don't, you should try it. It's quite liberating. JUAN!


	8. Angels of Sorts

**Disclaimer**: I (**_still_**) do not own the characters of _Tales of Symphonia_, however much I wish to do so.

**Warning**: Yes, this fic will contain some more questionable stuff. That's why it's rated 'R'. So if you don't like mentions of sex or slightly offensive language, you're not old enough, or your parents would get you in trouble and kick you off of fanfiction forever if they found this, DO NOT CONTINUE. Thanks... Heh... I'm such a hypocrite.

**Pairings**: Sheelos, etc.

'Nother day, 'nother update. Flanoir will be up within the next three days, so check up! Though, I'm going to see _Wicked_ on Sunday...

**potter29vo**: Oooo, so thorough as always in your review! Heh, they'll get together soon enough. Have you ever seen the Z-scene "Sheena the Evil Witch"? Well, I just discovered the Katz Island scene thingy, and I saw the title and had to find out what it meant. Seles stalking Sheena was an actual event; and the dialogue given in the scene was _exactly_ what she would have said had she really known what was going on... Heh. I love it when my fic parallels the game exactly like that. Also, I would quite enjoy seeing the pictures...! Send me some... please?

**Kitten Kisses**: Heh, well, I don't think I would have guessed anything had I read it within 20 minutes' time, either. I wrote it over two weeks O.o; I'm such a procrastinator. Thanks for another review!

**Starr**: Eh... don't kill me, but Flanoir's in Chapter 9...! ::runs and hides:: But it's quite fluffy, and I've written it, and it'll be up before you can say Great Mysterious Handsome Warrior Zelos!

**A fan of ToS**: You win! Yaaay! You're too smart for me... ::hands over cookies:: I've got the next chapter

typed, so no complaining allowed!

**jellybeanz225**: "Aionis", dear! Though, I guess I never thought about how many possibilities there were... O.o... Updating soon, I swear!

**Lady Kumiko**: Oh, thank you so much! It's so very encouraging to hear that it's not cheesy. You'll love the ending, then. Please don't cry like a sissy...!

**Neko-chan**: Funny you should mention that. Kuchinawa's voice was bothering me, too! It makes me really happy to know you've become attached to my characters. It means I'm doing my job! Hurrah!

**Reddie**: Hehe, calm down, you'll get your updates! Thank you very much for reviewing!

**Rin**: Heh, well, y'know... I tried to make the situation as real as possible. When I first saw the Z-scene I was thinking about a time when Sheena would be confronted, and at the time I myself really had to pee. So I decided upon it because it sounded like something that would happen to Sheena; poor girl, she's got enough troubles already. Good luck with your homework! I'm desperately trying to finish mine... Got any good information on 'counterculture' in American Literature? I hate my teacher... ::grumblegrumble::

Thank you for all of your 54 reviews! You guys keep me going!! Literally, I'm sitting in bed listening to Ani and worrying that I don't have enough time to keep writing, but then I think, 'hey, I have 54 reviews!' and I suddenly have the will to keep going. You're, like, totally my inspiration! ::tears up:: And I'd like to thank my mom...

Eh, keep reading!

--Trickssi

**Chapter Eight: Angels of Sorts**

Zelos had that weighing expression on his face again. He didn't want to go to that abbey, he really didn't. So many bad memories had been made there, not to mention his sister still _was_ there. He just really didn't want to go. But then... He looked at Sheena, remembered the sacrifice she made for Colette, realized he had to follow her example. She really did inspire him sometimes; lovely in ways, but also devastating.

"Wow, Zelos. I didn't know you had a sister!" Lloyd commented. Zelos snapped to attention.

"Hn? Oh, she's not really my sister. She's just my half-sister, and she's a whole lot more refined than I am," he explained with a sigh.

"Well that's still cool. I always wondered what it was like to have a sibling," Sheena said.

"It's not all that great. She's trained in martial arts and well-versed, but she never gets out of the abbey. She would definitely be the apple of the kingdom's eye if she were to be allowed out. But she's not. And she hates me."

"Hey, if you have a sister," Lloyd continued without real regard to what the redhead had just said, "why isn't _she_ the Chosen? I mean, if she's better and all..."

"Well, sometimes things don't work out that way," Zelos replied, that sullen air about him again. Lloyd shrugged inconsiderately and veered his Rheiard away. "If she could have been the Chosen I would have switched long ago..."

"What's that?" Sheena questioned. Her head was cocked in that 'interested' way again, but no matter how—he felt abnormal to think it—_cute_ she looked, he didn't feel like telling her.

"_Nothing_," he replied in a mocking tone, similar to that which she had used in many previous conversations. She knit her brow and followed Lloyd's pattern. "Nothing you could know."

Ah, the decay of the Southeast Abbey that they had reached... It was still the same as sixteen years ago. The bricks were wrought with more dirt and decay than he had remembered, and the vines grown somewhat longer, and the window to his quarters dustier. He hesitated to go through the guarded doors and up the spiraled wooden staircase, not even really noticing who followed him. Regal and Lloyd and Colette, and of course Sheena. Sheena mainly to see if another member of the family could turn out as royally screwed up as he. And... Well, yes, she was beginning to see him in a different light; maybe she wouldn't regret what she had done if this serious side of Zelos would stay.

As they reached the top of the staircase, Sheena was eager to peek her head in to see who this Seles really was that her brother had been talking about. She spotted a lavish setting before her, complete with an opulent four-poster bed. Something out of a fairy tale, she thought. Through the sheer curtains she spied the girl: light red hair, cute dress... Whoa. There was something all too familiar about—wait. She knew who that was. That was her stalker!

Quickly she ducked out of the room, accidentally hitting Regal as she spun around and leaned on the wall. She hoped to Martel Zelos hadn't noticed. She hoped to Martel _Seles_ hadn't noticed. Oh, lord! This girl... why would she stalk her like that? Did she—Oh good GOD... The words reverberated in her mind like the chiming of church bells: "I'll teach you to seduce my brother!" Her brother. Zelos. Seduce.

She slumped over in embarrassment; had Seles known? No. No, she couldn't have. No. Not another person "in" on this situation. She'd have to talk with Zelos. One choice is beginning to ruin her life... again. Sheena listened in on the conversation unfolding inside.

"Big bro—... I mean, I see the Chosen is up to his regular frivolity," Seles said bitterly to the redhead, who smirked in return.

"Yeah, whatever, little sister. Listen, I'm gonna need that Cruxis Crystal you've been holding for me, so if you could hand it over..."

Seles sighed deeply; Sheena guessed that she had forked it over.

"Well, gotta be going. Thanks." He began to leave, but was caught by the voice of his sister.

"Big bro—I mean, Chosen," she called.

"What is it, my _darling_ little sister?"

"... N-nothing. Just go on ahead with your stupid friends. I... I don't care what you do..."

"All right then, see you later," Zelos broke off. He strode through the door and attached his Cruxis Crystal to its keycrest. Sheena watched him with a blush spread across her cheeks. "What, can't stand listening to her overflowing sisterly love?"

Caught off guard, she could only stutter: "No, uh, I, ah... I just... I think someone... Just... never mind!" Zelos shrugged it off and headed down the stairs, the summoner in tow. "Wait, Zelos... I think Seles knows! Did—did you _tell_ her? I'll slaughter you if you told her!"

"Tell her _what_, my voluptuous banshee?" he snapped, reaching the ground level. Sheena was taken aback. "Tell her about what we did? Well, if that's what you think, then you're wrong. I really don't care about ruining your reputation. It was never my intention. I just—..." He shut his eyes and exited the stairwell, pushing the guards roughly as he went.

"What the hell is wrong with him _now_?" Sheena thought aloud. "He has more mood swings than I do." All witticisms aside, the image of his eyes pierced her; tones of green splattered against their blue backdrop as always, but intense daggers they were also. She had heard what his sister had said rather fondly to him and tried to rationalize it within herself; however, no intention came to mind. She would need to investigate, see what made her tick through questioning him, and questioning his feelings about his sister as well.

But no, she wasn't royally screwed up as Zelos, and come to think of it, neither was he. He was actually showing human emotions. Frightening. The scene before her played out as though she were but a bystander, a theatergoer enjoying the dense shield between reality and this seemingly esoteric picture.

"Zelos, when you left, your sister said, 'be careful, big brother,'" Colette told him sweetly. He closed his eyes again, clenching at first to ward off sadness then relaxing as his outer mask returned.

"Whatever. I know she hates me. Always has, always will. I'm used to it," he stated bluntly.

"No! Your sister really loves you, Zelos. Believe me," the angel pleaded.

"... We ought to get going to the Tower of Salvation, don't you think?" Sheena noticed this was not the first time he had redirected a conversation to spare his emotions.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

'_Right, down, left, up, right...? No, right, down, left, up, left—but if you go left, then you'll never get to the door, so it has to be right... GRR!!!!_' Sheena stormed around the zero gravity rooms in a fluster. She could not for the life of her figure out which way to go to get into that damned tiny door. It reminded her of the Temple of Ice, except more nauseating. Her head was pounding and her equilibrium had been thrown off; not to mention this intricate maze of patterns that she could not discern.

"I _HATE_ ZERO GRAVITY!" she proclaimed, frustrated. A failed attempt was made to stomp her foot into the ground.

"Sheena, perhaps you ought to let somebody else give it a try," Raine suggested.

"No way!" she shouted in protest. "I'm not going to just float around while that stupid Chosen is off-duty. Did you hear the lewd comment he made back there? ...Just let me keep trying. I'll get it eventually."

Raine looked at her desperately. "I just want to get out of this room before my digestive system decides to reverse itself." The undetermined lilting of the sea was apparently too similar to this room for the Professor to stomach.

"Well what if the Chosen is on-duty?" Zelos suggested, inching his way toward the women.

"Like you could do this any better than I," Sheena scoffed.

"I'm serious this time!"

"Uh huh. Exactly how you were serious with the darkness beam."

"I do believe the Violent Demonic Banshee needs to relax," he remarked, scanning the layout of the room. Sheena huffed in reply. "Look, if you keep going left and up and down over there, you'll eventually come to that door. See?"

The summoner squinted toward the distance, and found his statement to be true. "Y-you're... Hey, how did you figure that out so quickly?" she questioned.

Zelos shrugged and averted her glare. "I guess I have an eye for that sort of a thing; and I've had... déjà vu of this place, and our going the right way," he said.

"You confuse me, but since you're right, I'm gonna let your bout of intelligence slide." Sheena used the side of the wall as a springboard to propel her away from the Chosen.

"Why, thank you, my—Hey, wait!"

It truly would have been a shame if they had gotten all the way to this mana fragment and couldn't return to Tethe'alla to get Colette's cure. After the chaos of lack of gravity and winding corridors, they encountered Yggdrasill and had to confront him; it was then Sheena noticed another odd quirk of Zelos's. During the battle, he took more time to heal his party members and less time to fight. Was he suffering from another bout of utter kindness, or was there something more? For during Pronyma's appearance, Yggdrasill shielded Genis from an attack. Peculiar things were happening, and more peculiarly, Colette fell as she watched the battle unfurl.

As for the grave expression on Lloyd's face, it made everyone forget about all of the childish things he'd ever done. His determination to save his beloved friend outweighed his flagrant ignorance. The group set out at full speed for Altessa's house.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Tabatha and Altessa walked calmly out of the bedroom. Lloyd jumped at hearing the edge of their footsteps and eagerly addressed them. "How is she?"

"Healing complete," Tabatha stated.

"She is completely fine. When she wakes up, she'll be back to normal," Altessa told him.

The group let out a collective sigh of relief to break the tension. Sheena in particular was quite elated about the news; she had temporarily sacrificed one friend for another, and thank Martel it had paid off. Colette... to lose her would have been to lose hope entirely.

"That's good!" Zelos announced. "Except, Lloyd, you haven't been eating..."

"I'm just not hungry. I don't think I'll be able to eat until I see Colette normal again," replied the young swordsman.

"Aw, come on. The first time I'm generous enough to cook you guys a meal you don't even appreciate it. At least have some carrots, or a potato, or _something_," he advised. "If you don't eat, you're going to pass out and then you won't even get to see Colette. And you'll trouble her."

Lloyd pushed away the offering. "No thanks... Why are you so worried about me all of a sudden?"

"Because we're buds!"

"It looks like you two are best friends," Mithos interjected from the other side of the room as Zelos nearly strangled Lloyd with 'affection'.

"Yup! Doesn't it though?"

Genis looked up from the tile at which he'd been staring. "Hey, Mithos, we're friends, right?"

"Hm? O-of course, Genis."

The boy looked at his friend sincerely. "I trust you, okay? No matter what, I trust you." Mithos smiled weakly.

"I don't trust _Zelos_," Lloyd commented, releasing himself from the trap of arms.

"Aw, dude, ouch," Zelos said dejectedly. "But you know? I think you can ameliorate that little comment by eating some of my food in appreciation."

Sheena smirked. "You sound like a housewife," she said jokingly, grabbing a plate in spite of her better judgment.

"Well, look at _you_: that plate's as big as a man's appetite!"

"Shut up! I'm going to eat your cooking so you'd better be nice to me!" she countered. Touché. He couldn't argue.

Eventually, Sheena's boldness had convinced everyone to try and force down some of the redhead's food, though it tasted a bit bitter. Genis recommended adding some sugar to the dessert; Sheena recommended adding pineapple to the curry ("But pineapple doesn't _go_ in curry!" "At least _my_ curry tastes better than yours! It's like eating a charred shoe!"). Though, one by one the group drifted off to their rooms sleepily, leaving Sheena, Zelos, and Mithos to themselves in the kitchen.

The food was drugged, and Zelos had done it. He began to panic, seeing that the summoner hadn't given in yet and was still going strong, driveling on about this and that in a bored fashion. Perhaps she had become immune to those sorts of things because of ninja training or in fear of getting date-raped. Hah, date-raped, as though she'd ever go on a date. He considered offering her some wine, a depressant, so that it would put her to sleep, but despite his loyalty to that young boy in the corner he could not bring himself to put her in medical danger. He waited it out until she finally collapsed on the table from sheer fatigue, and carefully hauled her off to her own bed, tucking her in as a courtesy.

She had not been sleeping for three minutes when a loud noise was heard outside; she sat straight up, red-eyed and sore and sick-feeling, and dashed through the empty chambers to the front door.

Tabatha. Tabatha was lying there in a mechanical ruin, jolting with fractured fuses. Altessa was not moving, either, seemingly thrown against the ground. Sheena rushed over to the dwarf since she had had no knowledge of machines. Raine was already working what healing methods she could offer.

"He's not getting any better," she mumbled under her breath, the pang of tears beginning to sting her eyes.

"He doesn't have an Exsphere like the rest of us, so your healing methods might not be effective," Genis said.

"What are we going to do?" Colette questioned, full of concern. The dwarf that had just saved her life was about to lose his. She didn't want to be a bystander at his death.

"I..." Sheena began. The whole affair was confusing to her sleep-deprived mind, but she knew full well what would happen if Altessa wasn't tended to immediately. "I know a doctor in Flanoir. He cured the Chief when he fell ill, and I know he's got the skills to help Altessa."

Raine looked up. "That sounds reasonable. Flanoir isn't too far, but I'm afraid we won't be able to mobilize instantly. Everyone seems to be feeling a little off for some reason, and I see you follow suit in that respect. Why don't we wait until tomorrow to retrieve him?"

Sheena nodded and sighed. "It's probably best." She chuckled under her breath. "I bet it was Zelos's cooking that's making me feel so queasy right now."

"Either way, we should try not to move Altessa. We'd better bring him a blanket; I think we'll be sleeping out here tonight as well." She sulked at this. Three minutes in a bed for the first time in—how long? She couldn't even recall. It was back to the cold hard ground. She wished ardently that dawn would show itself.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

La! Can't wait until I put up Flanoir, can you? I'd also like to announce that I'm writing several one-shots... One about Colette and religion, one about Mithos, and something on Zelos's Cruxis experience... Till next time!

--Trickssi

PS—Please R&R! You know you want to! And I'll put in a good word for you to the Great Mysterious Handsome Warrior Zelos!

PPS—Hm. Sometimes I wonder if Botta has a thing for Yuan. But don't quote me on it until someone else likes that pairing...


	9. Breaking the Ice

**Disclaimer**: I (**_still_**) do not own the characters of _Tales of Symphonia_, however much I wish to do so.

**Warning**: Yes, this fic will contain some more questionable stuff. That's why it's rated 'R'. So if you don't like mentions of sex or slightly offensive language, you're not old enough, or your parents would get you in trouble and kick you off of fanfiction forever if they found this, DO NOT CONTINUE. Thanks... Heh... I'm such a hypocrite.

**Pairings**: Sheelos, etc.

IT'S HERE! IT'S HERE! FLANOIR! But first, my lovely reviewers...

**jellybeanz225**: Heh, all right, you can _borrow_ Yuan. I really did enjoy the kicking scene... it's just that Sheena was asleep during it : ( My brother and I always make fun of that scene, too...

**starr**: It's here! It's here! What you've been waiting for! Don't fret over chapter 10, because when I was playing, I noticed Sheena was acting strangely courteous toward the little Traitor. And also, Kratos is nowhere to be seen... and even if he were, I would _make_ a way for Zelos to live!

**Kitten Kisses**: Glad you liked it! 'Cause... I didn't, really. ::shrug:: That's why it was short and choppy. But things will flow more smoothly, because, my dear, I am apparently pioneering the way for R-rated Sheelos with a plot! Thank you very much for putting me in that category ; )

**Neko-chan**: Ah, my gratitude to you for your 'wonderful' praise can never be recounted! It's really touching to hear that from even the last chapter you think I've got amazing skills... I didn't even _like_ that chapter... ::tearing up:: Thank you so much!!

**Lady Kumiko**: Congrats on finishing the game! I'm going for a fourth time soon... ::hides wavebird:: Ahem! Yes, Sheena and Zelos were made for each other, dontcha think? I simply couldn't stand ToS without their relationship, but it was tough to write this, because I always make Lloyd best friends with Colette so Sheena doesn't develop more of a crush on him, and then I never see the scenes... ::sigh:: Oh, and the fluff is lovey-dovey stuff, but snow could work too!

Warning: There _is_ about to be some fluff, but since I don't classify 'fluff' as being anything obscene, you're all safe! Read on!

--Trickssi

**Chapter Nine: Breaking the Ice**

Ugh.

As if it wasn't bad enough they had to go here to release a Summon Spirit; now they had to stay overnight because of that accursed doctor. Sure, he was a respectable physician, but his rates were unreasonable, even for the Chosen and company. But they would pay the amount: Altessa was far too valuable. Sheena, however, paid through shivering uncontrollably in this second stay in Flanoir. Her only sanctuary was the hotel's fireplace located in the scenic _glacial_ lobby. She held the flannel blanket close around her layers and layers of clothing and tried to think warm thoughts.

'_Warm. Warm is hot chocolate. Chocolate tastes good. But _Chocolat _is a person, and she was in danger, and so is Altessa, and it's really really cold here. Damn, I'm hungry. Okay, not chocolate. Tea... That's making me thirsty. Let's find something practical, shall we? Fire. Fire, fire, red-hot coals, I'm in a desert and I'm stepping on coals, red-hot coals... Red... The color of his hair...'_

Sheena gasped as she realized where her thoughts had led her.

'_No, no, NO! You mustn't think of him. He's been acting weird lately and he can't cook... Maybe if he's not himself, he needs a mana cleansing. Maybe you can help him. It'll get you warm, at least. You could probably persuade him to—HOLY MOTHER OF MARTEL, _NO' she battled with herself. There was just no way she could let him control her mind like that. Except... it _did_ make her hot.

No.

No, it didn't. Yes it did. Hell yes it did, but no, it couldn't. But if Colette had gone to talk to Lloyd, they'd be alone; right?

"Whoa, hunny, you got a fever?"

Sheena snapped her attention from the blaze to the lusty lecher suddenly standing beside her. "What the—Where'd you come from?" she asked quickly. "And I do not have a fever!"

"Well, your face is flushed enough," he commented, seating himself a little too closely to her. She absentmindedly felt her forehead. It was a bit warm; she must have been blushing. But then, god, who wouldn't get hot at the thought of the true epitome of masculine sexiness sitting so closely, and being a sentence away from—

"I've... been by the fire awhile."

"Oh. Well, I'd ask if I could join you, but it seems I've already taken the liberty," Zelos said.

"I guess I'll let you since it's so cold in our rooms," Sheena responded, her eyes back on the fire.

"Yeah. I hate snow..."

She glanced over at him with curiosity."Really? I hate the cold, too." He nodded halfheartedly. It intrigued her, irked her: an umbrage that had to be put to rest at last. "Say, Zelos, I was wondering then... Why do _you_ hate snow so much?"

He sighed deeply. "I knew it would come up sooner or later," he muttered to himself, then more loudly: "It reminds me of my mother... how she died."

"Oh, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have—" Sheena blurted, embarrassed at having leapt into something so private so quickly.

"No, seriously. It's okay. It's probably best I tell you now, anyway, if you're going to know at all," Zelos interrupted. "Go ahead, ask. I need to get it off my chest."

Sheena nodded. "All right then, how did it happen?"

"It was when I was six. It was snowing, probably like here in Flanoir; the most Meltokio had ever seen," he began.

"You were just... six years old?" A wave of compassion passed through her at those words.

"Please don't start with the feminine sympathy. You're gonna make me feel bad being passive about this. Now is this my story or yours?" he asked lightly, a false smirk on his face. She lowered her eyes. "Okay.

"Now, my mother—Mylene was her name. Mylene Wilder; _my_ mother, not Seles's like people think. She was... she was something. Never really wanted to marry my father, but it was arranged, him being the current Chosen and all. I don't remember ever seeing her smiling except for that same day, snowing outside.

"We were trying to build a snowman, ridiculous little kid excitement from the snow infecting us both. We'd gotten pretty far on him, the snowman, so I was going to put the head on now. I bent down to pick up the snowball we'd made... Next thing I knew, red snow was falling."

Sheena was spellbound, open-mouthed. "Red snow?" she repeated.

"Yeh, she, uh... She was struck awfully hard with a magic attack," he said slowly. "Worst part is: it was meant for me. And my mom, from the ground, she looks up at me and... I'll never forget what she said. 'You should never have been born...' right from the lips that had just been smiling so widely at me."

"Oh my... god, Zelos..." Sheena could hardly speak. She found her eyes watering for this wretched Chosen. Speechless.

"It was the woman my father really loved who got her. She wanted to kill me because she was pregnant with Seles, whom she thought better deserved the title of Chosen, but... as you can see, I'm still kicking," he continued.

"And thank Martel! Zelos, you're so lucky to have a mother who loves you that much—"

"She didn't ever love me, Sheena," he said firmly, staring at her stringently.

"What are you talking about?" she asked desperately. She repositioned herself so that she was facing him directly with only one side to the fire. "Your mother protected you that day. You're lucky she was around!"

"She didn't mean to, and that still doesn't mean she loved me!" Zelos shouted. "Who could love a child who's destined to die from birth? You don't understand what it's like to have your whole damn life planned out before you're even born. Sometimes I like to think she was right..."

"Zelos! How can you say such a thing?!" Sheena accused. "I mean, sure I don't know what it's like, but Martel! Of course you deserve to have been born..." She broke off unable to look at him. It was unbelievable that he truly felt this way after all that masking of his emotions. She had no idea of what the life of any Chosen was like, but she knew that it meant _something _more than sacrifice.

"Nobody thinks I should live right _now_, do they? Nobody in the whole damn world cares if _I_ die! I'm not helping any worlds by just being me!" he protested.

"You know, when we met, I thought you were an idiot, but now I know so. _I_ care. _I_ care if you live. I want you to live if no one else, okay? I guess I never saw it before, but you're a person, too," Sheena blurted, baffled at her own words. Was he even listening? He had that glint in his eyes again. "God, please don't do anything stupid!" She rose to her knees; giving in, she put her arms around him. At least it shut him up.

"Do you... really mean that?" Zelos asked.

The summoner blushed. "Yes, I mean it. I want you to live. I want all of us to live." She stroked his hair—ah, that hair—with the reassurance of a mother, but the intention of... Of what? Did she mean to think 'lover'? She backed off immediately, jerkily, ignorant of the external view.

"Well, thanks... Nice to know somebody cares once in awhile," he said shakily. He had obviously attempted to feign apathy.

"Good." Zelos shifted in the uneasy silence, unsure of whether he should leave or not. Sheena, sensing this, settled herself closer to him. "Seles, huh? I really don't like that girl," she said, attempting to start up a conversation.

"Oh, you've met before?" he asked.

"I don't know if I would say 'met', but yes, I encountered her before... You see, someone was stalking me a little while ago, and it turned out to be her." He raised an eyebrow.

"Why would she do that?"

"I don't know!" said Sheena. "Anyway, one night I woke up, and she was there at the campsite, ready to fight! She said, 'You evil witch, I'll teach you to seduce my brother!' and started swinging around a sword... Mind you, I sent her packing."

"That's interesting," Zelos said with a smirk. "She probably thought you were one of my sweet hunnies."

Sheena's face reddened entirely. "What would give her that idea? I never met her before in my life!"

"That's because I told her so," Zelos said matter-of-factly.

"W-what?"

Zelos put his arm around her. "Oh, I'm just kidding! Calm down already," he soothed.

"You stupid Chosen... That doesn't help me one bit. It just means that there was enough information on the outside of the two of us that she could gather that I was—I can hardly bring myself to say it—_seducing _you," she replied. His eyes were fixated upon the fire.

"She always used to want to follow me around when I saw her; always wanted to be just like me for some reason. Probably because she wanted to be Chosen in my place, but things didn't work out that way. So she's constantly cross with me for being something I can't control."

"I know what you mean... But I think you're doing a decent job of handling your title," she complimented.

He shook his head in discord. "Whatever." He hadn't done that great of a job recently, and his job was just about to get tougher; Lloyd had suggested making a move on Cruxis, and being what he was, well... The time had come to try his trust with the group. He couldn't bear the thought of losing his first true friends. But then... When Sheena had dared to try his cooking, the others followed. So if he could win over her trust, the others...

The grip on Sheena's shoulder tightened, heightening the tacit tension she held in her mind. She was getting overheated again. "H-hey, I'm not that cold anymore, so if you want... I mean, what I'm trying to say is... the lobby is kind of open..."

"_Your_ room. Lloyd will take Colette to the guys' room if at all, and if he doesn't, Colette won't make a fuss about my being in your room," he said casually. Sheena blushed again.

"But—I just wanted to talk, since Lloyd and Colette are talking, because... I want to know the real you," she admitted. "I believe I have the prerogative to know. And hey, if afterwards you somehow manage to get into my pants..."

"No, actually, I'm going to have to decline on the latter," he said. He couldn't very well take advantage of her and expect her to come back to him with the same caliber of affection. Then again, he couldn't revoke all sorts of contact, because then she would turn her back to him forever. He ought to just be a gentleman for once. "But... I may suddenly catch chill and forget a blanket, if you know what I mean."

The embarrassment glowing on Sheena's face intensified. Sex was one thing for her; it was easy to just ignore who someone truly was, but this... showing that he didn't want her for that took her aback. He was more complex than she thought. He really _was_ a person. Was he indicating love? She wouldn't know. She was never close enough to anyone in Mizuho to find out what happens when a person loves you. She didn't quite know what to say except to accept his offer. "Uh... yeah. Okay. We just have to get there first," she replied awkwardly.

He followed her upstairs to the girls' room. He truly wasn't planning on staying too long; just enough that he could tell her the truth. Well, not _the _truth, but close enough. And long enough to perhaps get a closer smell of her hair. They entered, and Sheena settled herself on the bed with her blanket as Zelos sat on the edge.

"You know, I won't be able to hear your stories unless you come closer," she said quietly, laced with unintentional allure. She buried herself further in the sheets. She was wrong; it was freezing up here.

"You're shivering," Zelos observed, inching his way closer to her.

"Wh-what? I'm..." She tried to think warm thoughts again to no avail.

"Do you trust me?" he asked abruptly. "I mean, not to molest you."

"It depends on... Yes, I trust you. If you were really going to do it you wouldn't warn me first," she rationalized.

"All right, if you trust me..." Zelos began to remove his outer tunic as she watched with a gaping jaw.

"How—? How will that help?! I thought we weren't going to _do_ anything!" Sheena shouted. He had thankfully stopped at that, tossing the article aside.

"Don't get all excited. Take off the robe," he instructed monotonously.

Sheena's eyes widened. "_WHAT_? I'll freeze to death!"

"No, you won't," Zelos replied calmly. "Body heat; little trick I picked up through my travels... well, actually... a textbook, since I'm supposed to be all honest. But seriously, the colder you are, the more layers you should take off. As many as you feel comfortable around me with; I won't make you do anything."

"Th-this is crazy," she remarked. But he had promised precious warmth and wasn't forcing her for once. It was either go with it toward the unknown or further freeze. On a night such as this on which she could see her breath, she chose the former and cautiously cast aside her outer layers. Her arms brought security as they were brought about her front. And to her surprise, Zelos looked upon her not with lust, but softly, with a quiescent comfort. "What now?" she asked sharply.

He was delighted that she had actually relied on him. "You really trust me," he said, awe-stricken.

"This had better work. This ain't a free show."

"Come here, my little ice queen," he said, fitting himself betwixt the blankets and extending his arms to her. Sheena scooted toward him, awaiting some embrace, but he turned her outward. "Lie down on your side." She accepted his command only because of its reassuring tone. It seemed something less rough than what the public heard, but not syrupy as though he was speaking to his 'hunnies.' She found his frame befitting hers, back to chest, as though a jigsaw template. Slowly, his hand fell around the delicate apex of her waist, across her stomach, and now it seemed a protective sort of shell. Being in such proximity she imagined she felt his heart beating. It proved a contrast to her uneven racing pulse.

"I'm still cold," she stated, riddled with goose bumps, though not necessarily from the chill air.

"You'll warm up. Just give it a few minutes or so."

"... God, I'm being held by the world's worst philanderer," Sheena said to herself, stricken by disbelief.

"It's called 'spooning', my voluptuous hunny. Though, I guess your phrase would work, too," he replied to the rhetorical comment.

"Hey, well, it is what it is, isn't it? Call it what you like. I don't care what crudeness you present when nobody else is around; you're more experienced anyway," she said.

"Hn, interesting you should say that." Uh oh. Zelos, throwing caution into the wind, had just presented himself with a disadvantage, letting his statement flow out of his mouth so hastily. Or could it be turned beneficial? If he told her the truth, she might just trust him more when the moment of judgment came. All the little facts he had been telling her had to add up to something more than the one little lie he had to tell. Had to.

"What do you mean? Are you suddenly going to deny your qualification?" Sheena asked magnetically. Zelos gave an almost haughty laugh.

"Well, I've still got a reason for my reputation, but... I'm not all I'm lived up to be, really."

"So you're not a dirty lecher?"

The Chosen now began to blush. Suddenly it felt a little warmer under that blanket. What was this, an inquiry? He had no choice but to answer, though sheepish he was. "Hell, I guess I never was. _You_ were the one who said I was in the first place, remember? And then I said, 'Don't flatter me.' Don't you remember?"

Sheena searched in the archives of her memory. "I guess I did, didn't I. But I'd still like to know the story with you and women, even if you're not all you're cracked up to be," she requested, pressing herself against him a smidgen tighter.

"Heheheh... Bet you would, wouldn't you? Well let's just say you couldn't get an STD from me, babe."

"Ha! I knew it! You _were_ a virgin, weren't you!" she accused, accepting prematurely that she had won.

"Sorry, no," he admitted shamelessly. "But it was only once when I was about 15."

Her jaw dropped. She turned her head to look back at him in doubt. "You're joking."

"Afraid not this time. Guess I'm a liar; add that to the list of things you can't stand about me."

"It's not a lie if you tell me the truth _now_," she told him giddily.

"All right, all right! I swear to Martel I was only 15, and it was one of the palace maids. Didn't even know her name. She pretty much used me."

"That's boring... and disappointing."

"Isn't it though? It was horrible... god, I... was premature and I hardly had a sense of control," he said with a sigh.

"If that's the case, then you've improved... greatly," Sheena said under her breath. Her face, already steaming with heat, burned again at the thought of their last encounter.

"Heheh, you think?" he asked in jocularity. "You wanna know something else?"

"What?" she asked, developing a large grin.

"I never took advantage of a woman before. Well, I mean, I never let 'em get a real piece of me. I'm just a trickster, y'know? Badass bastard kind of a guy..."

Despite his words, Sheena was nearly splitting her sides with silent laughter. It was too funny: this made-to-be macho Chosen reduced to a lowly peasant concerning true acts. And all this time she thought he'd banged every other girl in the world brazenly. When she caught her breath, she finally spoke: "So then why did you choose _me_?"

Zelos let out another sigh, and buried his face in her hair. A warm scent of some fruit, possibly plum, met his nose. This was real. This was no garish, slovenly reek of the town whores, or the pretentious stench of high society's housewives. This was the sleek fragrance of the only woman who was genuinely real to him, in mannerisms and insults. Mmm. "Well, first off, I knew you would be able to tell. And... I wanted you to trust me since the beginning," he replied. She felt his words in her heart as though through osmosis, veering her idea of him toward the better.

"You idiot Chosen," she laughed softly. "You stupid idiot Chosen... If you're telling me the truth about all this, then, I guess I was wrong about you."

"How so?"

"I thought you were hiding something, but... Oh, I don't know... I can tell you're not. It's times like these when you're not putting up some wall between yourself and everyone else, when you're really being you, that I think I understand you. And I don't have a problem with this you."

It had gone too far. Now she overly trusted him, and it stung to ponder what would have to happen next. There would be no ground for an understanding then. He couldn't bring himself to betray Cruxis right there, because that would backfire and betray the group worse. A triple nullification of fidelity. Right now, he had gained the trust of at least this woman, if not Lloyd and Colette as well. One more night of her trust was all he needed. Yes, those few moments he would come to treasure; it wasn't a front that he truly wanted her trust, and in this brief span he had come to gain it. He held her tighter.

Somehow Sheena overlooked his lack of response. Catching his breath on her shoulder, the expansion and contraction of his lungs rocking her gently, hearing him sigh in the silence of the winter; she imagined they were somehow connecting him to her. This feeling was unlike any sexual quenching, satisfying in another realm of its own. This was... no, not perfect. She couldn't find the word. Placid, maybe. Blissful, perhaps... She just felt comfortable being around Zelos for some reason. Apparently she didn't hate him after all.

Thoughts of Altessa and Colette and the future raid on Cruxis shrouded her thoughts before she could come up with a true answer. Slumber was aggressively permeating her mind, but one musing seemed to come through before she was swept up: Seles.

"Zelos, I don't think your sister hates you," she said.

"Why's that?" he asked sleepily. He willed himself to stay awake for the sake of returning to his own room after she had fallen asleep.

"Well, _I_ don't hate you," Sheena yawned. Before the significance of this line could be discerned she was lost to the waking world.

And she wasn't cold anymore.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

--Trickssi

PS—R&R if you liked the fluff! R&R if you didn't! R&R or I'll discontinue!


	10. Regression

**Disclaimer**: I (**_still_**) do not own the characters of _Tales of Symphonia_, however much I wish to do so.

**Warning**: Yes, this fic will contain some more questionable stuff. That's why it's rated 'R'. So if you don't like mentions of sex or slightly offensive language, you're not old enough, or your parents would get you in trouble and kick you off of fanfiction forever if they found this, DO NOT CONTINUE. Thanks... Heh... I'm such a hypocrite.

**Pairings**: Sheelos, etc.

I have officially gotten writer's block. I can't seem to write more than two sentences at a time, and then I sneeze because of my allergies, and then I can't concentrate anymore. I can't even announce it'll be on hiatus 'cause I've been not updating for so long... eeeuuuughhh... I just want to finish!

**starr**: Thankyouthankyouthankyou!! I spent about two weeks working on the draft... whereas on some chapters I didn't even give it a second glance... Ahem! But seriously, thank you. I love reading your reviews; they're so genuine!

**Lifedeath**: Ah, thank you for reviewing! First time, I see. I shall read your fanfiction as soon as I have spare time... ::kills people who created standardized testing::

**Rin**: Oh, don't worry about last chapter. This was the one that mattered anyway. Hehe, "mushy sweet fluffy stuff and all"... Hehe, you make me smile! Yeah, I know what you mean; I got all confused and writers'-block-y when I realized that what happens next has to happen...

**jellybeanz225**: Okay, you can rent him for extended periods of time, but only because Botta is deceased at the moment. But Raine will put her arts to good use in time, I assure you! And then Botta will come and steal Yuan, and... ::ahem:: Okay. Yeah, I'm updating...

**CruxisJudgment**: Yay! You liked the fluff! I'm so happy! It was definitely one of my favorite chapters. It's gonna be hard to write this one, though...

**Lady Kumiko**: If I'm allowed late updates, you're allowed late reviews! I agree on OOC-ness. Characters should never be put through that kind of hell. But sometimes the character of the characters can be bent by what happens behind the scenes...

**AmaDono**: ::runs from whip:: Agh! ::ahem:: Thank you very much for reading! I'm glad you liked it enough to put it in your faves.

**potter29vo**: Oh, don't worry about the review. I'm honestly just thankful you read it! Happy ending? We'll see. Originality? It's difficult with such a story in the game; I'm trying to remain as faithful to the line of action as I can without going into too much detail over things that don't contribute to the story. I know it started out as just behind the scenes, but some lines of conversation in major parts adds to Sheena's thought pattern about Z-Lo... but now I'm rambling.

**Shadow Destiny**: Gotcha on that updating... I'm really trying! Thanks for reviewing!

**sirhcnotilih**: Yay! I got 5/5! That'll raise my algebra grade for sure! ... I think...?

**SoulPoet**: I'm honored to be your favorite! And actually, random things do inspire me...

**HunnyBabe**: Thanks for reviewing! Heh, you noticed the spooning line? That makes me happy : )

**blazingflame**: Okay, okay, I'll continue!

**whitetiger**: Thankoo vewy much! : )

**Tarauka-Sosuro**: Oh, you've figured me out, heh heh! Actually, I guess that's sort of a coincidence. I don't _mean_ to not get anywhere; it's just that that's the way things happened... I have the characters speak the stuff in my head and it just turns out that way. Although, they will get somewhere soon. And I am going to be doing a fic about Zelos shortly. And there will be some more adult stuff because of the 'getting somewhere'... ASIDE from that, thank you very much for your review. I always appreciate latecomers!

We all knew this had to come sooner or later. I really hate to do it... They got so far!

--Trickssi

**Chapter Ten: Regression **

'_Sheena—_

_This is a symbol of my trust. Hang on to it for me, okay? I don't have a right to ask for your forgiveness, but I still want you to forgive me anyway. I... don't deserve you._

—_Zelos_

_PS—Don't tell the others._

_PPS—Yes, they are, and yes, I was. But not anymore.'_

The summoner stared quizzically at the note which had been placed in her hand before she had arisen. What could possibly be meant by the script she would have to find out later. She was lonely of company and clothing, and she had to put this crystal-thing somewhere. Martel, it was cold again. Swiftly she gathered her apparel and adjusted it about herself, tying the bow lastly. The fabric gathered around the exact spot where Zelos's arm had been the night before, yet somehow nothing was as warm, she noticed.

The orb. What to do with it. And what was it exactly. His Cruxis Crystal? It couldn't be... perhaps his Exsphere before that? Something that glowed rather vociferously, at the very least. Sheena couldn't think of where to put it; it was his trust, not to be lost.

Now, to breakfast. Down the rickety wooden stairs—had they been this loud last night, or had Sheena just been deaf to it? Ah, there were the other three at the table in the corner, up and dressed for hours, probably. How long had she been asleep? This was another one of those nights where she got a decent amount of sleep; she noticed the last time had been the night before the Tower of Salvation. Were all her good nights Zelos-induced? She suppressed a blush from arising as she made her way to the table.

"Oh Sheena, you're up!" Colette chirped.

"Took you long enough," Lloyd added. His plate was still brimming with various breakfast delicacies, which would probably end up going to waste since he was obviously too anxious to stomach them.

Sheena rolled her eyes. "Oh, I just overslept a _little_, Lloyd. Cruxis will be there no matter how long it takes me to wake up," she said, slightly harshly. She did find it rather annoying when he got in one of these heroic moods, as if he almost didn't deserve it, as if he hadn't experienced enough to be knighted by an adventure. Especially in the morning.

"Grr! But we have to make the first move! If we wait too long they'll attack us, and especially at a time like this when we have our guard down!"

"My little snow bunny has a point. I'm sure that Yggdrasill needs his beauty sleep, and he probably won't wake up until we get there, and even then he has to do his hair," Zelos commented. "No rush." He flashed his eyes to Sheena's, conveying that there was still a bond between them.

_Thanks..._

"W-well, I guess I've held everyone up enough. Let me grab some toast and we'll get going," Sheena spoke in the silence that followed the verbal fracas.

"Finally gonna raid Cruxis, huh, Lloyd," Zelos said, staying firmly in the chair. It was clear he had something to say; as for the subject matter, she couldn't begin to guess.

"Yeah. No going back now," the boy replied. "Except, the only problem is that I can't wield that Eternal Sword."

Colette placed her hand on his shoulder affectionately. "Don't worry. There has to be a way," she calmed even before Lloyd could get angered by the roadblock. It then occurred to Sheena that it was a good thing Lloyd wasn't a woman; he had mood swings frequently as it was.

"There _is_ a way a human can wield the Sword," Zelos jumped in, matter-of-factly.

"Then how? We'll need to accommodate Lloyd quickly," proved Sheena. She had grabbed a piece of toast and proceeded to slather it with Colette's strawberry jelly. Perhaps that would remove the burnt taste. Of course, perhaps whichever way she ate it it would still be burnt toast. She gave a sigh and took a bite. Crispy.

"Back when I was young at the Research Academy, I was injected with elven blood. So, if Lloyd can't do it, at least I'll be able to."

"Wow. I didn't know you could be injected with elf blood," Lloyd said.

"Neither did I," Sheena said. She set down her toast in an absentminded fashion. "Does Tethe'alla really have that kind of technology?"

Zelos was leaning back in the chair. "'Course it does," he replied. "That's why I can use the healing arts." There was something untruthful in his tone, though it went unnoticed by the younger teens. It seemed too simple, and yet all too complicated; how could that blood be circuited through his system all this time if he'd had the shot years ago? And how could just an elf's blood allow one to wield a sword which was controlled by half-elves?

"Zelos, if—"

"Don't worry, Lloyd can be injected too," he finished, answering the unasked. It soothed Colette at the very least.

"Then it's settled. All we have to do now is meet with the others and go to that tower!" Lloyd sprang from his spot at the table, leaving the chair to clatter to the ground as he rushed to the door.

"Lloyd, wait!" Colette called after him. She followed, but not before picking up her bag.

"Kids," Zelos muttered. He shifted and began to leave his chair.

"Hold it, Chosen. I wasn't going to ask you about Lloyd," Sheena demanded. The redhead sighed, reseating himself.

"I—know, Sheena," he said dumbly. He ran his hand through his hair tensely.

"They... really don't have that kind of technology in Tethe'alla, do they?" she asked a little softer than before.

Zelos shook his head lightly. "Probably not. But I can still wield the Eternal Sword bec..." She stared at him with her head tilted. "No, no... Never mind. Don't read into it."

'_You conniving bastard, what have you got up your sleeve? How can you hide something from me after everything we've been through!'_ Sheena's mind screamed with hateful insults. What meant that stupid orb he had given her? He was supposed to trust her with everything, wasn't he? "I won't," she replied simply. _'Stupid, stupid!_'

"I do trust you."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The jolt of seeing those corpses in coffins circling grotesquely beneath them made her forget the menacing laugh that the Chosen had released there some time ago. The Tower of Salvation was never a pleasant place in her mind, and this only amplified her fears. Suddenly, she watched Zelos dash to the front of the group.

"Leave this to me," he said in his overconfident tone. And then the corpses didn't seem too bad...

"Leave it to _you_? What are you gonna do?" Sheena questioned sharply. Her stomach turned; the glint was in his eyes. It sickened her. He was going to do something horrible. Something horrible, horrible... But what was that past the blinding lie? The old adage of the eyes being the window to the soul... His soul was crying out to her, screaming itself hoarse.

_I trust you._

..._No, I don't. Not with..._

_No, I have to trust you! Don't do something stupid!_

"I figured something like this might happen so I prepared a little something the last time we were here. Colette, come here for a second."

Don't do it.

She did.

"Good work, Chosen. Now bring her to me," Pronyma's chilling voice sang as she appeared in a circle of green light.

"Sure thing," replied the redhead.

Sickly chills ran down Sheena's back as she heard the words escaping Zelos's mouth. It had to have been a dream, a mind lapse. It was just her fears playing out in front of her as an illusion, like what happened with Volt, yes, yes a dream. Because if Zelos was truly crossing the line, he would be leaving her, he would not trust her anymore. It then occurred to her that his trust was the only sort that mattered... and that her left side throbbed beneath the pressure of her obi.

"Zelos," she called blindly, not even knowing quite what to say. He seemed to respond. "Just what the hell are you doing?"

The assassin could hear the broken and hostile breath of each individual member of the group. Her equilibrium swooned; listing, she attempted to keep her balance. No fainting. No weakness. Blurred vision of Colette engulfed helplessly by a circle of light. The angel was lost for words to the point where she wouldn't attempt escape.

"Oh, shut up!" spat Zelos in a vitriolic tone. "I'm just putting myself on the winning side. What you're trying to do is a lost effort. What's the big deal if I just make myself stronger? Colette wanted to be a sacrifice, anyway."

What's the big deal.

What's the big deal?! Sheena still did not want to believe this was actually happening, actually resounding in her ears. The big deal... Aside from her, what about their mission to reunite the two worlds? Was he abandoning the cause for which she so vehemently fought? This had turned more than personal. This was close to—treason!

Still, as criminal as it was, she longed for him to not be causing this problem; for everything to just turn out all right, and calm, and...

"I can't believe you! You were always a pervert but I never doubted that you were a good person when it came down to it!" she shouted with tears brimming in her eyes. The conversation had gone on without her, fleeting words of beginning and Renegades and—she didn't care anymore.

Zelos's eyes pierced her as he spoke: "Why thank you, my sweet, voluptuous hunny; but Mithos promised he would release me from my fate as the Chosen."

Anger boiled beneath Sheena's flesh: anger fermented and twisted from her former pity upon herself. However, her hand was stayed from grabbing her cards. Something still held her to her words from the night before. _Well, _I_ don't hate you._

I _don't hate you._

"Come along, Chosen One. We don't have much time if Martel is to be revived," Pronyma ordered. Zelos followed, smirking haughtily as the circles transported the three out of sight. Colette was kidnapped again, but for the first time... Zelos was gone.

Silence.

"Damn that Zelos!" Lloyd cursed audibly. He stomped his foot into the ground. Raine glanced around nervously.

"It looks like we have no time for that," the professor warned. She pointed out the Cruxis guardians descending upon them as Lloyd drew his swords, ready for battle.

"I—can't, I—... damn him... _damn him_," muttered Sheena. Not being able to move, Sheena could only utter filtered, robotic sentences as she shook with anger.

"Sit this one out," Raine suggested.

Sheena watched inactively. Her mind was too plagued with questions to connect images. Too plagued. She glanced to the right; at the vision of Orochi, her mind suddenly snapped into place. Orochi had been a constant since before the mess of a situation she was in now, and a familiar face was certainly comforting.

"We're too late," Orochi thought aloud.

"O-orochi, what are you doing here?" Sheena asked urgently.

"We were sent by z—... sent to rescue Colette," the man replied. "It seems we're too late, but it's nice to know you're all right."

Sheena smiled insincerely. "Thanks, but there's an issue on our hands right now. We have got to find Colette before she becomes the host body!" _And find Zelos_...

"No need," Orochi replied. "Look at the transporters. They appear to still be functioning. Perhaps following her would be the quickest way to Derris Kharlan."

Raine nodded. "It appears as such. Let's give it a try before we're too late." The rest of the group filed into the circle behind her.

"Orochi," Sheena called quickly. "Who was it that sent you?" The ninja in blue could only shake his head as the circle enveloped them in a green light and sent them on their way.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"What _is_ this place?" Genis questioned. "There's vines everywhere. It looks like there's no way to go..."

Sheena darted her glance across the walls, over the intricate patterns on their panels and the weaving root-like branches. There it was again, that indescribable lump in her throat that made her want to implode, explode, screech until her voice went hoarse and she collapsed... No. She couldn't collapse, not now, not so close. Lloyd, Lloyd, Lloyd, Lloyd, Lloyd, Lloyd. World, world, world... Oh, but her world had already fallen in.

Damn traitor... Damn traitor. Oh Martel, what was she going to do? She couldn't kid herself any more. She was a sap. She trusted him. She trusted him and there he was, disposing of that trust as if it were rubbish. The entire time he'd been working for Cruxis and she hadn't figured it out. The _entire _time! She began to think of him as a distraction now, in the place of a traitor. A distraction suited him better. Before _he_ joined the merry Martel-saviors she would have been able to pinpoint every member of Cruxis by inhaling. He clouded her judgment is all. Not a sap. Not a trust-breaker.

However, as these titles flashed back and forth across her mind, she stood awkwardly still and silent beside the warp while the others worked fervently to uncover a door, a knob, anything. Not even this observation could motivate her, however. She simply stood, a shadow in the midst of chaos.

"We trusted Zelos, and he—he just—" Lloyd began to mumble. He grabbed a clump of roots and tore it from the wall. "Dammit!"

"Yes, it is unfortunate that he misled us to believe he was our friend," added Regal.

"He had his reasons," Raine said, "but we must keep moving. We must find a clue to Colette's location before it's too late."

Lloyd growled. "I _know_, but he was my _friend_! Grrrr!!" In an act of pure testosterone-generated violence, he fired his Ring at the wall. In the fiery fury, a large root became charred enough to fall to the ground to reveal a passageway.

"Lloyd, you did it!" Genis praised. Raine corralled the group into the corridor, pulling Sheena in the right direction in a desperate gesture.

"I know what you're thinking, but we must hurry," she advised the summoner.

Sheena still had a glazed-over look about her as they drifted to a door, a room, a chamber. The chamber was filled with robot-like angels awaiting attackers. Sheena didn't really care. The others allowed her to stand silently as they fought. Not that time for composure would help in any way. She would still be scarred.

Regal, a foot away; sprinting, kicking, nearly falling. Angels wordlessly mouthing something. Angels being defeated. Raine casting spells. Genis also. Angels...

Cruxis. Traitor. Traitor. _Traitor!_

Too many angels, must leave, must leave Regal... Light and hands...

Stairwell. Stairs, running down them as fast as she could. And then, a massive root of the Great Tree blocking the path across. Great Tree. Mana Cannon. Mana.

Life.

She had to save Lloyd's life; who knew what that tree could do if he tried to cross? Its hostile boughs were capable of murder and god knows what else. The Mana Cannon had been the only way to destroy the Great Tree, and only with great amounts of mana on hand. How much mana had she had to burn, anyway?

It then occurred to her that Zelos might have been useful after all.

"Hold on, Lloyd. This is a root of the Great Tree," Sheena explained. "There's only one way we can decimate it. I just need to summon the Spirits of Tethe'alla."

"But we don't have that much mana!" protested the boy. The summoner shook her head.

"Trust me on this," she said. "Disciple of Everlasting Ice! Hammer of Godly Lightning! Servant of Mother Earth! Envoy from the Dark Abyss! I command thee to lend me your power!" With her call, the Summon Spirits of Tethe'alla appeared to service her. Their respective influences were channeled into her body.

"She could get killed!" yelled Presea, watching her intent. "Chance of survival is .2 percent with her current mana levels."

Raine grabbed the young girl's shoulder to comfort her. "No, I doubt she'll die. Her mana is pure even though there seems to be little of it. Pure mana is more powerful than any level of regular or tainted mana any person holds. She'll live." Presea could not shake her ill feelings.

As Sheena's mana fused with the Summon Spirits', a beam of light was expelled from her hands which lay waste to the root for a short time. "Go, Lloyd, everyone! It won't last long."

"What was _that_?" Lloyd asked, fascinated.

"My version of the Mana Cannon. Now, just go! I'll follow behind you," she advised. Catching her breath, she attempted to come up to to the group. As she ran across the giant root began to re-grow; its heavy limb swung down upon the bridge behind her. A piece of the root fell with the bridge, but not before clinging to Sheena's ankle. She grasped the edge of the pit with one hand. "Agh!"

"Sheena!" called Lloyd. "Come on, I'll help you up!"

Closing her eyes, Sheena took as big a breath as her overpowered muscles would allow. "No. You've got to keep going."

"We can't just leave you behind!"

"Go ahead, I'll catch up. I promise. Just... save me a piece of the action, okay? I want to help you in some way," she said.

"You've already helped, and now it's my turn to help you," Lloyd offered.

"No," Sheena demanded in a tone more resolute than she had expected. "Save Colette." In that moment, Lloyd's eyes flashed with fear for his friend, but he knew he had to obey. And he began to walk away. Colette...

A memory flooded back to Sheena of when she had stood on the maintenance door as the clumsy Chosen of Sylvarant tripped and unlocked it. And here she was again, in another hole, except... this one was a little bigger. She began to laugh.

"What's wrong with you?" Lloyd asked urgently. "You can't let yourself be in danger and laugh about it!"

"No, I was just thinking of the first time I met you guys... I guess I have an affinity for falling into holes!" she chuckled. "But this one's just bigger..."

"You dork. You'll come out fine and..." Sheena could not discern the end of his sentence as the blood suddenly rushed to her head. This seemed to be it. She was weakening. Lloyd had gone with the others when the swoon temporarily lifted.

"I really should be more ladylike and let him save me," she mumbled to herself. "But that's not my style, now, is it? But my style seems to be the kind that betrays you and leaves you to die..."

And then it happened. Her fingers loosened so that she could not hold her weight anymore. Thinking quickly of her ninja techniques, she pushed off of the wall and into the center of the pit. She was falling... That falling feeling... Loosing her consciousness, or losing her mind? She couldn't tell...

'_...Good luck, Lloyd...'_

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

You know, it's been about a month since I've started this chapter. It gave me hell. I finished another run of ToS in the time that it took me to write this... go figure. But it's good for research, and I assure you you'll have something to read for the holiday break.

--Trickssi

PS—As always, R&R! **_Tell me what you want to happen next_...** Of course, I probably won't appease you, but that's because I'm omnipotent! Bwahaha!


	11. Mysterious Handsome Warrior

**Disclaimer**: I (**_still_**) do not own the characters of _Tales of Symphonia_, however much I wish to do so.

**Warning**: Yes, this fic will contain some more questionable stuff. That's why it's rated 'R'. So if you don't like mentions of sex or slightly offensive language, you're not old enough, or your parents would get you in trouble and kick you off of fanfiction forever if they found this, DO NOT CONTINUE. Thanks... Heh... I'm such a hypocrite.

**Pairings**: Sheelos, etc.

All right! Back on track... The end is in sight! I especially enjoyed writing this chapter because everything becomes clear. I like making connections when I'm playing the game...

AAHHHH! And while I'm at it, down with Sheeloyds! Come on, my battalion! Write Sheelos and free cookies to all!!

**AmaDono**: O.o... Wow, you must have some pretty special sugar there. I think I need some. I'm soooo tired... ::ahem:: Thanks for reviewin'! It's all right if you can't think of anything. For a large amount of time, neither could I, so I can't blame ya. And for reference, I don't mind babbling ; )

**potter29vo**: Thank you soooo much! Was it really emotional? Good. That's the point I'm trying to make. Oh, that makes me so happy! Well now that I've updated, I'd say it's about time for you as well! Let _me_ have a chance to compliment _you_! Which reminds me, your new Colloyd story is wonderful; I just had no time to review, what with all the updating and such. So, keep going, and so will I! (O! And now that I'm thinking of it, does the title "Dreams In A Mirror" have to do with the illusion she saw in the water of the wedding apparel (that's what that was, right?)? I haven't looked at your reviews since I read it, I swear, so there's no hint I could've gotten and I might even be redundant...)

**Taiy-chan**: Hey, get me some cookies while you're up... ::ahem:: I mean, thanks for your input! Zelos just may get a heroic streak...

**starr**: Aww, I hope your writer's block goes away! It's a terrible thing... I like the idea of Aionis-stealing, although their relationship would have to be a little stronger before this point for that to happen. However, it's not going to be that cheesy... I hope. It's a bottomless pit...

**Tarauka-Sosuro**: Heh heh, sorry for the cliffhangers, but they must happen! Did you really feel for Sheena? I suppose you got more out of that chapter than I did... Anyway, very perceptive with remembering the letter...

**jellybeanz225**: ::takes back Yuan:: Ha! Well of course I couldn't have everyone fight Zelos. He wouldn't die if they did anyway. I've always kind of resented the fact that they kill him off just because they need a slot for Kratos. 'Cause Kratos doesn't die when you get Zelos. Just... unfair. Eh, that was only my third time beating it, but I'm on a fourth run... I don't have very much time at all. I mean, I won't even get to celebrate my sweet sixteen because of all the studying I'll have to do. Argh. Alas... ToS is progressing slowly, but surely.

**Rin**: Yay resumed playing! Sorry for the cliff, but you know how things go, even in the game. Zelos should save her? Hm. Okay! Hurrying with the chapters...

**Baka-Kitsuneko**: Don't go scary fangirl, please! Heh, I know about those stupid zero grav rooms... Yeah, I have never not used a cheat site to get past those. The ice temple I can do, but there's too much in the zero grav rooms... ::sigh:: Well, it's nice to know I'm being hearted! Thank you for your review!

I thank all of my reviewers whole-heartedly for your input... But now, read on to find out how Sheena gets saved!

--Trickssi

**Chapter Eleven: Mysterious Handsome Warrior**

"One to go," he thought aloud to himself. Everything else was in place; although, he did feel slightly naked without his sword. But he had to hurry now that the others were safe. Down the corridors, warps that only he could unlock now... It was a wonder he could even open them because of the lack of Cruxis Crystal. He desperately needed it back, and the only way to do it was if he hastened his pace. All the more reason to go get Sheena.

Through the door, and then... There it was. The bridge was broken; he knew it would break. That was the plan. Bridge breaks, she falls... until he can get there from all the other traps. The others were easy; Regal had already killed the angels, Raine's platform was set not to fall, Genis's walls were disengaged, Presea's plant was detached... Now all that was left was to get Sheena.

He took a big breath. He really, really hoped Sheena was down there, because otherwise he'd just be plummeting to his own death at a faster rate. But he didn't want to die anymore unless she was gone, too... He let himself jump into the pit, and fell, and fell, and fell...

Sheena meanwhile had regained consciousness and was contemplating how long it would possibly take to reach the bottom, her death. Why wouldn't she just die already? She had never fallen for this long. Her stomach was turning about itself, so much that it hurt. A whole lot. In fact, was that even her stomach? No, it was... Her side was aching in pain. Why now? It only hurt her before when Zelos left the group. Was it a punishment for feeling angry at him? Or, perhaps, something connected to him. It was, after all, his trust.

In the faint glow of the outline of his false wings (which pained him to draw forth because of the absence of his Cruxis crystal), he began to see his surroundings. Undoubtedly an object was falling beneath him. Undoubtedly that object was a person, and that person was Sheena. He made a sudden atypical prayer that he could get to the crystal before it was too late. And hey, if he didn't make it in the end, at least he got to feel her up.

He reached out in closer following distance to locate the exact position of her body. Forward-facing; that was fortunate. Wouldn't scare her as much. Well, maybe.

Sheena could only see the outline of a person in front of her, falling at her exact rate with an orange backlight. Some creature, some person was there, and an arm was extended toward her. She suddenly felt heat forming around her in a secure lock. That arm. It was that person's arm, and the other...? Okay, now that the other had a probing hand. She could feel its fingers violently searching her midsection for something. '_If you're gonna kill me, don't waste time pulling out all my internal organs. If I wanted that I would have committed Seppuku already,_' she thought to herself.

It only bothered her in a comedic way until she realized that this person had to have been a Cruxis angel. Wings equal angel, and that was that. She prayed it wasn't a Seraph she knew too well. But—it had to be! With that color to the wings... She struggled, but the arms held her tighter, and now the hand had reached into her obi to seize the trust of the Chosen.

"No!" Sheena cried. They could take her cards, Corrine's bell, anything—just not that orb. "No! Let go of me!"

Despite the added difficulty from her wriggling, he quickly pulled it from her sash and clicked it in place in his key crest.

"NO!" she protested again, so loudly that the modulation in her throat brought forth chokes of emotion. In a glorious display of ginger and rosy colors, his wings leapt forth from his spine as she said this. The wings slowed the pair to an abrupt halt. In the silent standstill she believed she had credibly died. '_My last moment and I was thinking about that stupid Chosen,_' she mused.

"Sheena; Sheena, open your eyes!" he urged in a broken voice.

What was this devilry? Not Martel's intonation, surely. Why, it almost sounded like that confounded Chosen. The old adage about "no good deed" came back to mock her in death. Still, she had to wonder what in the ambiguous vortex of fatality would cause her mind to say that. Cautiously she opened her eyes. Her chin over his shoulder, she first spied his red locks. The reflection in that hair with those wings... Indeed, it was a Cruxis angel, but an angel nevertheless; and it was that very misfortunate part about him that had saved her.

"Zelos..." Sheena dug her face into his collarbone. "Oh my god, you idiot, you idiot," she murmured.

"Are you okay?" he asked, ignoring her comment. She nodded stiffly in response. "Thank Martel. I need to get you back to the others as quickly as possible." He kicked off of the wall and jetted upwards toward the nearing light.

"Why are you saving me? Why are you risking this? You've... got Cruxis wings." Sheena observed them as she said this. Brilliant hues had been mixed together to create the tapestry before her eyes. It was heart-wrenching and beautiful at the same time in their loveliness; for out of these wings some human life had to be sacrificed, and some stinging pain endured to obtain them. But she couldn't swear to these wings. She shouldn't have let these tainted wings save her. "And you lousy bastard, I can rescue myself!"

"You would have died."

"Well so had you if I hadn't trusted you enough to bring that Crystal—You're a damned traitor!" she shouted. All of the hate she felt for him, and for Kratos, and for Kuchinawa, all traitors, came cutting like a blade through her articulation.

"It's your trust in me that we didn't die, and it's my trust in you that you didn't fall alone to your death," Zelos reasoned calmly.

"What the—! Don't change the subject!"

"If I really meant what I said I would have kept my Exsphere, run off with that godforsaken Mithos, and let you die," he countered sternly. "But I love this cause; I love Lloyd too much, and I love Colette too much, I l... What... We'll save chit-chatting for later. You just get the hell to Mithos and kick his ass for me, okay?"

The lilting darkness in his voice was enough to convince Sheena to believe. "I... am going to keep trusting you," she vowed. He landed then on the edge of the precipice and gently put her on her feet. She didn't unclasp her arms from him. She embraced him with all the benevolent might that would not suffocate the angel. Sensing his discontent she had to let him go, though the act seemed nearly impossible.

"Use the warp there. I've set it to go to Mithos's room," Zelos instructed rapidly. He lingered for a moment and Sheena could tell in his physical sway that he expected something more from her, some other word to be said. And in that moment his mouth had never before been so lovely as, unsmiling it was, it turned upward in curiosity. She had not realized how close their faces had been until he jerked away suddenly, hoisting himself into the air. "... Letter."

She nodded heavily, not quite understanding his outburst. "Yeah... Wait!" she called after him. It had just occurred to her that he had not answered any questions she had swimming about her mind. "Those wings... they're...? You can't be with Cruxis! You—" Before any crude name could come to her tongue the Chosen was out of sight.

Pausing before the warp point, she... knew. She would have done it, she would have—dared she to think it? But no, it was true. If for one more second he had stayed, if just for a split second, her lips would have met his, and perhaps there would be some understanding. That was what she needed: understanding. So much that had happened in the past—why, it was probably only ten minutes. Why had he betrayed them all if he acted like a knight just now? Was he still with Cruxis; was this some obscure dream? Her wounds were quite real. And, of all things, _why_ would she think to kiss him?

Sheena's judgment was numb. All she could do was to hop into the warp point and hope to reach the battle in time. Zelos was worth a lot, but not enough to miss slaying Mithos.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Guys!" Sheena exclaimed in seeing Lloyd's entourage. They returned a few smiles, lighted expressions.

"Sheena, I didn't think you'd make it from your trap," said Genis in disbelief. "At the rate I calculated you to be falling, you should have died! How did _you_ get saved?"

Blushing slightly, she proclaimed, "You're not the only one who's good at calculations."

Raine seemed to sigh in a gesture that would have had the same effect as rolling her eyes. The axe-wielder reacted in the discomfited moment. "The one who saved us was a traitor," she said.

"I know that! Of course he's a traitor. And yes, we did trust him and now we feel collectively duped, but..."

"What do you intend to say?" Regal questioned.

"Heh heh, that he used a rope to get her out of that pit. Not like he's good enough to have the ability to fly," Genis suggested. He was met with a sharp slap from his sister. "Owwww!"

'_No, he has wings,_' she thought. Tell them he has wings. Tell them about the glorious, rosy, sunsetted wings. She couldn't get them out of her head. Perhaps he meant to show them to only her, or perhaps they only could be shown after he obtained his Cruxis Crystal; but she remembered the haloed outline of them in the freefall. There were so many questions to be answered before an explanation for a single contraction could be revealed.

"Nothing. Let's go help Lloyd," Sheena said finally. Nobody objected, and the group headed for the balcony above Mithos's room. Still, she felt curtailed.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Tell me again what's going on."

"I swear, you're like a sieve," Genis commented. "You're saying you don't remember what went on at _all_?" Sheena nodded in response.

"I shall inform you," Presea said. "Zelos arrived mid-way during our battle with Mithos, and presented aionis to Lloyd, which will allow him to wield the Eternal Sword. He pushed Colette out of the way of a deadly spell of Mithos's, and soon afterward Colette regained her body. She said that Martel's meaning was misconstrued horribly; but Mithos protested and eventually fled to his castle in semi-defeat."

Sheena nodded. "And now we're going to Heimdall so Lloyd can fight Kratos so I can make a pact with Origin," she continued. Presea smiled.

"See, Genis? She isn't like a sieve at all." Genis blushed and lowered his head in defeat. Nothing could get past that girl, not even his comebacks.

"So why is Zelos alone behind us?" the summoner asked abruptly. Genis was caught off-guard, but Presea was speechless. The two glanced back at the lone Rheiard which carried the redhead Chosen as it lamentably drove forward.

"I... still don't really trust him," admitted the boy. "We built all this trust up for him and he just... kind of... betrayed us. I kind of looked up to him for being so good at math. We even taunted Lloyd in stereo once! But... I don't think the trust will ever be rebuilt."

"He came back. Isn't that enough? He brought Lloyd the aionis that will allow him to wield the Eternal Sword. It was all a ruse, it had to be!" she said.

"Well then _you_ go talk to him," Genis suggested caustically.

Sheena shrugged. When it came down to it, she didn't really want to talk to him, either. Disheartening it was; how much she lobbied for his goodness and how she couldn't even bring herself to speak to him. Something empty was still inside her from that moment in which she denied him a kiss. Or rather, denied herself of affection. Mizuho had probably given her the propensity for denial. Who would understand this flurry of thoughts? She had to talk to someone before going to Zelos, like studying for a test. She veered her Rheiard down to the Professor, who had been sharing silence with Duke Bryant.

"Raine, can I talk to you for a second? You don't even have to say anything. Well, actually, it'd help if you did say something, but when I'm done," she proposed in a roundabout manner. Raine grinned.

"Sure, Sheena. Something does appear to be bothering you," she replied. Both of them drove their vehicles slightly to the side to avoid eavesdropping on others' parts.

"Yeah, well... it's... I don't know," blurted the other. "Back at the Tower, when Zelos rescued me, I didn't... I didn't stop him. I mean, I didn't even think of how he was saving me. He has wings, Raine. He has these big rosy-gold..." Her voice trailed off considerably, and she appeared more detached than before in thought.

"You wouldn't think that they do, but they all do in the end," muttered Raine offhandedly.

"Zelos worked for Cruxis the entire time. He didn't just pop out with those wings; he must have had to go through that awful process like Colette. And I didn't feel sorry for him when I saw his wings. I didn't get angry because he had them," she explained. It became clearer to her as she rambled what her problem was. "We were falling, so I guess it was my fear for him that made me not want to be saved. Fear; can you imagine? A ninja, fearing the life of some...!"

In the following reticence Raine placed a hand on the girl's shoulder. "You don't have to keep talking about it if you don't want. I think I understand. From what I can surmise, I think I've experienced this before myself."

"No, no, I've got to get this out," Sheena ordered earnestly. "When I saw Zelos's wings, and I tried to think about how he was a traitor, I couldn't. He sort of... placed me on the ground after we got out of that hole; not 'put me down.' And I... I could've slapped him, or pushed him back into it and cussed him out, but... I hugged him." An amused grin appeared on her lips. "And when I finally let go, I looked, really _looked_ at him; and I didn't feel hate because I didn't see hate in his face. I didn't feel sadness. I... came short of feeling, I think. I could have felt something, I could've changed what happened so I could feel. I... I almost... I was so close, I mean, our noses... Heh, I guess Mizuho just taught me to be empty all my life."

"... So you're saying you almost kissed him?" Raine guided in a mysteriously omniscient way.

The summoner blushed faintly. "Yeah, you could say that. And even though I would feel really stupid now if I had (well, I feel stupid now anyway), I think I should have. I was so close to understanding. I don't even think it's _him_. I think it's human contact."

Raine smiled. "Even so, I think you should discuss it with him. Your mana level's so low you're rambling. This isn't the strong Sheena we know."

"And I still need answers."

"Right."

"I just wish everyone trusted him again," Sheena sighed. "Things would be so much easier."

"I know it will take a long time for me to be trusting toward him again, but I believe your faith in him will lead to everyone else's. There's something almost poetic in it. But at the same time, remember that we are on this quest to save the world and not salvage credibility. Understood?" Raine explicated.

"Uh huh... Yeah, I'll go talk to him. And thanks again for listening," Sheena praised. She began to steer to the edge of the group, but they approached the Ymir Forest all too quickly. She vowed she would talk to Zelos... maybe.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Just a thought... I guess I'm at the point of no return now, but do you think I would have gotten a larger response had my story been rated PG-13 up until now? 'Cause then it could be in the Sheelos C2 Community. I would sacrifice the point of my experiment so my story would be... y'know... big. Memorable. Down in history. I mean, I can still salvage it to be more appropriate. I think that if I wisely edit the next chapter I could do that... ::shrug:: What do you think?

--Trickssi

PS—R&R always appreciated! I'd like to try to reach 100 by the end of this story...

PPS—Happy Holidays! I told you I'd give you something to read by Xmas.


	12. The Point of No Return, or Chastity

**Disclaimer**: I (**_still_**) do not own the characters of _Tales of Symphonia_, however much I wish to do so.  
**Warning**: This chapter is why this story is rated R. If you insist upon reading it, please find a secluded area. WARNING! There _will_ be inappropriate things in the sentences to come, though it's not that bad. Prior warnings still apply...  
**Pairings**: Sheelos is all that matters anymore. (Did you notice a little bit of Kraine in the last chapter? Actually there's some in this one, too.)

I'm proud I can finally set the standard for the rating of this pairing. Let's roll. Although, 29 pages looks a lot more impressive on paper... Only 18 typed...

**Taiy-chan**: I think I would die of happiness if it was made into a movie/series. That's been my dream all along! Thanks for reviewin'.

**starr: **I like your thinking. It's probably best that this stay to a more mature audience just because younger people wouldn't understand some of the issues. And maybe being the first _plot-oriented_ R-rated Sheelos will pioneer me to my goal of 100 reviews! Thanks for a confidence boost : )

**potter29vo**: Oh, but dear, _you_ were the one who truly started the Sheelos craze! You inspired _me_, and I'm just campaigning! I'm going to keep it rated R, but I'm going to make another edited version that's rated PG13 so it can be in the community. My point in writing it was to make it the first smutty Sheelos with a plot, and it'll have to stay that way for at least a little while (I hope not to offend!). And though you can't update for awhile, let me compensate! Oh! And just so you know, you have a cameo in this chapter. 'Pegn' is derived from 'Pen', the Elvish word for little, or mini. MiniMinnie...! Ongoing thanks for being a partner-in-crime.

**zaki: **Aww, were you? That's so sweet! Oh, Zelos... ::dreamy sigh:: Yeah, he was my favorite since before the beginning. I looked at his picture for the ad in Nintendo Power and fell head over heels. He's definitely my favorite! ::huggles him:: I hope not to disappoint!

**jellybeanz225**: Hehe, well I'm glad I attracted someone because it's rated R. Wahoo! It's so much fun writing this story. The fact that you like it only makes it better!

**Tarauka-Sosuro**: You're a very clever reader! ::Most Perceptive Award!:: Do you, like, crawl into my window and read my notebook late at night? Hm, or perhaps the mana shortage was too predictable. I myself only made the connection to her lack of mana when I played the game for the third time; it's quite convenient, really. I don't mean for this story to be as eerily close as it's getting to the game... But really, good memory!

**Rin**: Heh heh... Yes, mana shortages are fun. Ish! Yup, I'm going to continue as R for right now because I didn't write this in the dark for six months for nothing. Nothing too graphic, though, still... because I'm a wimp...

**Ryu Isaac**: Of course they were made for each other! Thanks so much for reviewing! (Tho' I see it's for chapter 9... I know it's a lot to read in one shot... I usually have to take it in pieces)

MWUHAHAHA!

--Trickssi

"_Just for this moment/As long as you're mine/I've lost all resistance/And crossed some borderline_" Wicked

**Chapter Twelve: The Point of No Return **or **Chastity**

Afternoon. Overhead the clouds rolled gently across Heimdall's sky. Sheena ceremoniously washed her scrapes and bruises, watching the dirt drift away. The only true wounds were scratches on her arms from the rocks along the sides of the precipice, and these she did not bandage. Nobody bothered her, and she bothered no one.

Evening. Mealtime passed with the same terse words. Dinner had been prepared by the inn's owner, a small-framed female named Pegn, who had not much else to offer to the Chosens' group. A kind elf she was, sneaking a plate to each of the half-elven siblings through an unwatched window. The food, however, did not have much taste, as went the stomachs of the elves not to indulge. It left the humans craving some sort of tangible satisfaction; "a big freakin' piece of meat," Lloyd grunted at one point. Sheena ate what she could and apologized to Lloyd on the way out for not being able to cheer him up at such a bleak time.

The moon was accompanied by its black shawl as it rose. Clouds dotted the nightscape still; though with no sign of precipitation, they seemed superfluous and benign. Sheena took to standing in the night air from the balcony of the inn. Inside she could hear a tiff between the convict and the child over who would have which bed. There were five, and that meant one person had to sleep on the floor. Lloyd was out; "he needs his rest," Colette had said. Colette and Sheena were spared because of their gender and age, so the pliable youth and the manly 'presidente' were at odds over who was to take the last bed. No one seemed to notice Zelos's absence.

"Okay, you two," Colette stepped in. "Here's what we'll do. Since you can't share the big one, you two can take the separate ones on the right. Lloyd and I will take the ones on the left, and Sheena can—"

"That's five," corrected Presea. Colette's face fell.

"Who am I forgetting?"

"Zelos," answered the ninja, walking calmly back in. "You forgot that idiot Chosen."

"Oh no! Where will he go? He can't sleep on the floor..."

"But we also cannot trust him to share a bed with Sheena," Regal said.

"I wish to sleep alone," Presea commented.

"I as well am not giving up my own bed if sharing can be at all avoided," Regal added quickly.

"I want to sleep close to Lloyd but the big bed's too far away from him," lamented Colette softly. Her innocence restricted her to volley for anything else.

"I guess Zelos will sleep on the floor," Lloyd reasoned. "I wouldn't mind."

"Nor I. He is likely to turn against us in our slumber," said Regal bitingly.

"Eighty-eight percent chance of second betrayal."

Sheena could hardly stand to hear them. The level-headed peers she had known to always act with good judgment now refused a man a second chance when he couldn't even defend himself. Where was he anyway? She headed to the door.

"Where are you going ?" asked the angel. Sheena whipped around.

"I'm going to find Zelos," she replied. "Interpret as you wish."

Out she marched, not caring what they had to say about her choice in trusting him. And this way she could make it seem as though she were retrieving him to end the battle of the beds. He stood overlooking a river that flowed quietly across the lush grounds of the elven village; and in this scene not even the benches were amiss in their decoration against his beauty. It caught her quite off-guard to see her favorite part of him before having to face the blunt perversion. His hair lay drooping across his back, waving slightly in the middle and culminating in a clump of curls. Oh, how she would have missed that hair.

Sheena slowly approached him, but let her footfalls known as a kind gesture. He turned, and swirling behind him went his locks. Pity, for his face was quite discordant with some mixture of fear and strong self-loathing.

"Go ahead," he said bitterly. She was confused, shocked that he would utter such a line at all. She hadn't spoken to him since that morning about what happened. "I'm waiting..."

Zelos had been expecting a slap, kick in the shins, verbal assault; all of which he'd received at some other point in the day. He had definitely deserved it from her. A turncoat and a fool should not be taken lightly.

"You stupid Chosen," she said at length. "You damn _stupid_ Chosen!" He was relieved to hear the beginnings of a rant. However, he was not prepared for her embrace.

"What—?" he asked, astonished. "Don't you hate me, too? Everyone else does. Jump on the bandwagon."

"If we _all_ go walking on eggshells around it you'll only feel worse," she answered smartly. "You ass. As much as I hate your garrulous mannerisms, I can't go all day without them." Sheena let go of him and backed away a short distance, unsure of what to say to him in this peculiar state. Oh, the inn, _right_. "Yeah, I came here because they're fighting over who has to sleep on the floor back at Pegn's. They were going to make you do it, but I said no, because I felt bad taking the big bed. So I'll sleep on the floor."

For a moment the old Zelos sparked to life. "There's six spots. Six people. Nobody should have to sleep on the floor, and especially not one of my hunnies when there's an open spot next to _me_!"

"Yeah, I know it sounds ridiculous, but Regal and Presea refused to share, and Colette said she wanted _that_ bed because it was close to _Lloyd_, et cetera. They forgot about you, but when I reminded them they put you on the floor anyway. They... don't trust you," she said, looking to the river.

"Do _you_ trust me?" A moment passed wherein his words echoed eerily around her.

"I... said I trusted you before. I'm not gonna take it back," she replied simply. "You saved my life. I would have died."

"No, you wouldn't. Cruel little time-and-space rupture by Mithos: you'd keep falling forever until you drove your mad self to believe you were dead to end the pain of existing in that void," Zelos explained honestly.

"I am _trying_ to cheer you up, Zelos! It's the thought that counts, right?" Sheena stormed. "So just take that stupid bed and get some rest."

The Chosen took a deep breath and sighed loudly. "I don't think I want to, though; go back right now, I mean," he added, seeing potential quarrels from only his first statement. "If they're fighting so much over me it'll be kind of awkward. And they won't like you either because you're treating me nicely. It's warm out here anyway."

"I don't think it's that warm. I definitely feel autumn coming on."

"Oh."

"..."

"So..."

"Zelos, I want to know exactly how you got the aionis," she requested.

"Well that came out of nowhere."

Sheena fumed. "I just want to know what was so difficult that there was no other option than betraying your _friends_! A-and _me_! I need an explanation for all of this and I won't feel guilty about forgiving you."

"All right, sit down. This could take awhile," he began. "I'm going to tell you all that's happened so maybe... once... someone can understand.

"Cruxis, as you know, has been on my ass for nearly sixteen years now, and it's all because I fell under Mithos's spell. He has this way of seducing people into his trap. Men, not people, I guess. Or rather, boys, even. And I was a gorgeous little child, so of course I couldn't resist. Don't get me wrong; Mithos didn't _do_ anything, he just liked to window-shop. I was safe from harassment (though it never seems to escape me anyway). He favored me, actually. I'm actually a rank below being a Seraph because of the fact that I'm easy on that creep's eyes. Which reminds me: Cruxis made me arrogant so nobody would be suspicious. I'm working on getting rid of that.

"So then Kratos decided to contact me via M—I really shouldn't be calling him that—Yggdrasill's secret line, and I picked up his transmission; 'cause at first I thought he found out about Lloyd's plan to ambush him. I wanted to receive the blow the hardest before it hit the rest of you. But it turned out to be just Kratos, traitor in his own right. And the gall of this guy! I knew all along he was Lloyd's father, which probably made me even angrier at him for hauling his son around to carry out unfinished business."

The summoner smiled at the animation in his face. He was clearly telling the truth.

"Anyway, he asked me if I could get some aionis from Yggdrasill because they had just had a nasty little fight. I agreed, but only because that'd be the only way I'd end up living. That, and I think Lloyd's a good kid and he deserves better than that ingratiating—man.

"I had to think of some way to be alone with Yggdrasill and keep you guys out of harm's way. I decided I would have to pretend I was loyal to Cruxis and 'betray' you. As soon as Pronyma, Colette, and I reached his room, I pretended to hit on Pronyma while he was busy messing with Martel's machine so he'd get jealous. He started arguing with her, and that was my chance to steal the stuff from a bottle behind the chest. By the time he had defeated her verbally, I had hidden the aionis in the floorboards beneath; and just to kick him while he was down, I resigned from Cruxis and told him it's because I'm never going to be queer. Should've seen the look on his face...

"Ahem! Then I got you guys, and after I was sure you were all safe, I ran to get the aionis from the ceiling of the library. And that's how I did it," he finished.

Sheena stared in awe and shock. She shifted ill at ease before crossing her legs finally, deciding this was a position in which she could not be vulnerable to emotions. "So you really were with Cruxis. Almost a Seraph..."

"Well aren't you glad I wasn't that? At least I'm not gypping my son out of a life because of the loose ends of mine. Martel, that man infuriates me!"

"You're right. You're lucky not to be as he is. I dislike him," Sheena agreed, cutting off her anger. Zelos then stood up anxiously, waiting for something to be said, and turned to her, now backlit with white. Intertwined with his red hair it reminded her of his wings yet again. An unavoidable look of commiseration overcame her.

"What?" he asked her stare.

"Nothing," she said quickly. "It's just the moon... Makes it look like your wings. They're... They're _real_, aren't they?"

He nodded back. "Yeah, of course. You mustn't have read my letter again like a good girl after all. 'Cause I thought for a minute you knew I wasn't with Cruxis anymore—"

They were real.

Those wings were the bona fide product of a month or more of agony. Not being able to eat, sleep, feel... The more she pondered Zelos's lacking the capacity to feel, the more deeply it pained her. If anyone, _he_ should be allowed to feel the wonders of the world for being so long deprived of them. And not being able to speak, but having no one to notice! She saw him as a child of perhaps nine undergoing such excruciation without a mother or father there to protect him. And no soul. For having to suffer, silently, he was a stronger warrior than any legend she knew. Why hadn't she seen it before?

She had to restrain herself so as to not break down and be left completely vulnerable to the magic swordsman, though she didn't think he'd take advantage of her pity since it was for him. But goddess, it proved a foil to see how collected he was after such a story. A tear escaped, unbidden, unwanted. Her face met her sleeve to clear it away; she thought perhaps she could let a sob or two out then, as her face was guarded. The onslaught of weeping was not what she had prepared.

"What's wrong now, h—Sheena?" Zelos asked, worriedly. He leapt beside her on the bench and gingerly put a limb around her shoulder for support.

"Look at me! Y-you're so st-rong and I-I'm so weak!" she cried. "J-just crying over... Oh Martel. I... I _used_ you be-cause I was weak!" Her eyes pierced his, vitriolic with humiliation. "I used you because I couldn't g-go on, and on top of tha-t, I didn't have the d-damn decency to thank you! And after all that you went through, I—Oh goddess!"

Sheena wept into her hands as he rubbed her back politely. Then, unexpectedly, she burst into a fit of laughter. He'd wondered if she had gone mad with such hysterics. He waited until it subsided to patterned breathing before asking why. He knew the frailty of emotions in the third week.

"I just thought... All this time you've been running, but—you have wings!" she proclaimed, chuckling again. This did not seem in the slightest way humorous to him, though he appeased her by laughing warily himself. She now laughed into his collarbone; and though caught unaware by her mood swing, Zelos found her never lovelier. He decisively placed a kiss on her neck. Immediately she sat straight and shied away from his touch.

"Come on, hunny! No need to pretend anymore," he said, then adding in a whisper, "You've been running long enough. I think it's okay if you borrow my wings for one night."

"I-I'm not pretending!" Sheena argued, reddening severely.

"Think about it. Tomorrow the world could very well not exist. You lived for the moment _then_," he taunted.

She bit her lip. "And... Origin. I did waste all of my mana," she admitted slowly. Zelos smirked and gently brushed her bangs from her face. Incorrigible. "I'll..."

"It'll be our little secret. Well, another one. But nobody has to know," he placated. "'Cept this time it's gonna be on _my_ terms."

Gulping and hardly daring, the summoner asked, "And what would those be?"

"Lose yourself; pretend the world isn't in this situation and we are free to live lives again. Pretend you're not pretending anymore just until the sun comes up."

Sheena glanced downward. Perhaps inside his heart was bursting as well as hers, and that's why he proposed it. "It's going to be hard to not love you in the morning," she muttered. "I-I don't love you _now,_ though, if that's what you thought."

"Oh, come the hell off it." Roughly he grabbed her shoulders and pressed her closer, though waiting for her lips to meet his. Indeed she seized the opportunity and at last kissed him, fully, with force which would have mirrored his. And, at last, she believed she understood. She wouldn't mind if for just one night she let her restrictions loose. The surge of desire had returned, as it had once that night on her watch; save this new racking emotion that came with it. Unsure of why she decided to abandon tradition, she had to go with what her heart said. She wanted him for real this time.

Pulling back from his mouth she clambered to a kneel on the seat of the bench, which progressed to a straddle across the Chosen's lap. Resorting to his methods was probably her only way to forget limitations. "How's that?"

"A-ah, holy geez—" exclaimed Zelos, cut short by another demanding kiss. Meanwhile, Sheena felt that her leg was losing circulation, a costly malfunction, and she repositioned her weight; though to him, it seemed an unintentional torture device. Quickly realizing what became of her fortunate mistake, she began to gently down-heave against him.

He could ignore it no longer. He was extremely turned on by the fact that _she_ initiated this soft grinding motion. Finally she was learning to take life by the handles. Or by his pants. He felt his arousal become tangible, taken from his intoxication with her. His face was then buried in her neck, where the scent of her was strongest. From before he knew where she would have liked to have been touched, thus lightly kissing from her jaw line to her supersternal notch. She in turn stroked his crimson locks, pulling individual strands tight between her fingers. It belonged to her then.

"I love your hair," she mumbled.

"Drapes match the carpets, dearest," he replied spryly. Her laughter sounded, vibrating upon the Chosen's lips as it rung through her throat. How beautiful the resonance.

Zelos's roaming hands continued their reputation and untied the ribbons constraining his summoner's waist. He needed to be rid of them this time. They were a beast to unravel, though; such knots aggravated his current position: having to concentrate on both them and the movement of this strange new woman upon him. In the long run, Zelos had at least endurance. He also was determined to win a silent bet that he could take her to the stars and back without allowing himself to be touched. Those spells of ruses of his groupes allocated practice. Shouldn't be too hard to make her forget. Just a little game.

... Which he happened to be losing. He'd loosed Sheena's robe, but at the expense of his own tunic and shirt. As she was supported by that damned brassiere, he was left with his torso an open plane, and now subject to the command of her delicate fingertips. _Definitely _losing, he decided, unraveling as her hands slid past his belt. He should've liked more skin against skin; alas, her probes shot out from beneath the fabric, and she sat up rigidly, frantically, searching, searching...

"What the—" Zelos complained. Oh no, if another of his fantasies was going to be ruined by those ancient traditions, it would be a full-on war.

"Shh, someone's coming," she said in a hush.

"That would be _me_, darling, if you don't hurry up with—"

"It's _Lloyd_!" she hissed. She swung herself off of him and snatched their stray garments. "Colette, too. Quickly!"

That whiny kid swordsman was _so_ not going to spoil it for Zelos. The kids simply could not see him with her like this, and a solution had to be found haste-post-haste. He stood, grabbed the summoner's arm, and dashed in the opposite direction of the voices into a cluster of woods. Ah, the one upside of the Ymir forest. He guided her to park it in a less-threatening patch of grass.

"Wasn't kidding! Lucky I'm a ninja," she gasped, heart pumping adrenaline ever faster. Thank goodness nothing had been seen by Lloyd and Colette. Sheena promptly sat on the ground, waiting for her breath to find her again.

"Neither was _I_," Zelos said sideways. He fell to the earth beside her.

"You still...?" she questioned lamely. "I mean, after all that..." She blushed in spite of herself. She hadn't really meant to ask; the answer was clear from their surroundings.

"Hell yeah, I said I'm not lying anymore. No stupid wandering twerp is going to ruin it. And besides, this is better than a park bench, right?"

She smiled faintly as he rose to all fours over her lying body. Quickly she unclasped his belt when he allowed her; and in scarce remembrance how, his pants were lost by her hands. In the fray he had managed to grab hold of hers as well. Now all that remained was the shell over her chest, which Zelos daren't make a move for since he valued his life. However, by some bleeding heart, Sheena, as a welcoming gesture, undid the contraption's latch-like band. It was self-deprecating to have to parallel his awkward stark nudity, but she humored him. "To living for the moment."

Hurling it aside, she revealed perfectly-molded breasts, pink nipples raised in exposure. He for a moment lost his senses and lowered his head; though realizing what sacrilege it would be to touch them he drew back. He instead dampened her neck and shoulder with small biting pecks. Winning now, he supposed.

Well Sheena would not stand for exposing herself only to be denied, however sweetly. In retaliation she lightly ran her fingertips down his chest, abdomen, stopping abruptly below his belly button and taking them away. She made a mocking face. "Oh, sorry, missed," she clucked with a grin.

"That's two for you, hunny. My turn now. And I'm going to give you a reason for being a Banshee," he whispered against her ear.

An unexpected, thrashing wave of pleasure overwhelmed her.

"Ah!" she gasped. "Gah, Zelos! What—what is—?!" He had casually been running his fingers over her sensitive core, meaning to get back. A moan escaped her throat unintentionally as she tried to hold herself composedly. It perplexed her as to where exactly he was able to make all of her nerves clench; the source of her new guttural vocalizations was unknown. Zelos was quite enjoying the symphony of her voice, a decadent sound bringing pain to his anticipation, and so persisted he in brushing his fingertips across the nub. Morbidly afraid of a lonely orgasm the woman cried out to distract him. "What the _hell_ is that?!" He laughed. Hadn't those crazy ninjas and their strange courting methods taught her about her own sex? ... Oh yes, _crazy ninjas_.

"That," he said, "that is where we're the same."

"Then what are you stalling for?" she asked hoarsely. "I want to _be_ the same." Sheena forced his hand away and threw him onto his back. Pinned, he submitted. Her thighs were widely set apart, and delicately at first, she set herself upon him. Her face contorted in pain; she violently shoved her hips down to lessen it. Zelos bucked up to meet her, then allowed their gentle falling. She was in the spotlight now that he had temporarily quit the game and had set a shuddering rhythm between them. His hands grasped hold of her hips, bringing them closer, closer. Locked in awkward intimacy, she could but rock herself jaggedly against his moans, which seemed to roar from the very depths of his torso. This was what she knew to do: swift, tense sex which shifts from unspeakably rough to satisfying enough. Shivering in the throes of orgasm, she felt farther from him than before she began.

The same, no. Bodies themselves cleaved. There was no parallel now save for twixt frames. Upset, Sheena pulled herself from him.

Little did she see the gears turning in his mind as he sensed her turmoil. Zelos had a lovely, wicked, devious idea. He grabbed her around the middle and toppled her to the grass.

"Relax, sweetheart. Let it all out. Could be your last night alive," he warned. She, flushed, turned her head aside in humiliation. It was gently moved back to view him by a caressing hand. "Here." Sheena had no choice but to succumb to him. She had denied him her face the first time, and again would have. She prayed that she would let herself love him.

Her mouth was caught in a quick barrage from the Chosen's lips, luring her into security. At that point he took the satiny skin of her thigh under his will. He drew up her right leg over his shoulder and with indecent slothfulness broke into her again, so slowly, decidedly that she felt the scraping of every inch consuming her. Her breath now was staggered and choking with syrupy gasps, the metronome sensually slow. And then she felt his bones. These were the pelvic bones from his very skeletal structure which she had never noticed before protruding into her flesh and thereabout. Well, there went every sane notion she ever had, defenestrated. All there was was her and him and an intimation of, for once, living.

Indeterminably, he released into her, sending the ripple to the remotest stretch of her body. So weak was she now, and shaking, that it was tedious to unweave their entanglement.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The light of the moon descended and swathed the two in a glistening pallor, waxing. Their nerves still trembled and their foreheads were damp though moments surged past them. Being knowledgeable of nothing more, the man held her in an intense grip as though she might fall off of the planet itself; and she, knowledgeable of nothing at all, let his arms be the vice. It would have been nearly impossible to discern the split where one ended and the other began save for structural differences only.

Sheena let the blood fill her face ravenously and freely as it never had before. This was certainly not like last time, but she had no need for hiding it on this night. Let whatever feelings from cleansed mana flow. Her neck relaxed and her head gave way to his chest; and it surprised her, almost, because of the fact that he even had a heart, and that it seemed to drum out the same rhythm as hers. Two hearts beating the very same. Different blood, but no matter how far it pumped away from the center it returned to the exact same place. Even their blood was running, perhaps in defiance of their recalcitrance. And they were the same.

These thoughts, these hints had all been pestering the summoner for some time, but the last was the most disturbing. She had to tell him some truth about how grateful she was. Though this seemed the undoable act.

"Zelos," she said finally. He snapped from his possessive state of mind and loosed her enough for her to look up at him. "I've decided that... no matter for how long you run, I'm going to be here when you want to come back." She locked onto his eyes, aquatic sapphire windows. How she hoped her cryptic words would convey her meaning. "A-and if I slow you down, I will run to the ends of whatever earth to catch up."

He gave a sigh, blinked, and craned his neck so to receive a blunt kiss from his lover. "I'll have to catch up to _you_," he replied. "Violent Demonic Banshees can't be kept in a cage for long."

"Oh, I can't believe you," she chuckled. He still teased her with that accursed nickname, and all because Mizuho tradition did not allow name exchanges among strangers, or even friends as they were then. However, it did permit blood relatives to know, as well as... spouses. Sheena got a horrible awful idea, a Zelos-ism almost. She would do away with that nickname forever by bending the rules. "Why don't you call me by my real name from now on?"

"Hn?" he asked, alarmed. "You really gonna tell me?"

"You must swear to never speak it in the presence of others."

"I, Handsome Warrior Zelos, Chosen of Tethe'alla, do hereby swear forthwith to my duty to uphold the secrecy of one Miss Fujibayashi's real name," he agreed, adding playful sarcasm to the embellishing words. "Good enough?"

She scooted closet to his ear. "Misao. Misao Umeno Fujibayashi," she whispered. She could feel his eyes light up, and the accompanying radiant smile.

"It's beautiful," he said. "Just... what does that all mean?"

"Misao is the Mizuho word for 'chastity.' Umeno, my middle name, I guess, means 'rose.' And of course, my adopted surname Fujibayashi, but I don't know what the hell it means," she explained.

"So what it really means is: one who is lovely yet doomed to be loveless forever, huh?" Zelos commented. "You can see how well that turned out. Man, it must suck to have to uphold virginity."

"No, no. You got it right the first time. Chastity means that a person doesn't fall in love because of losing their virginity, so I can sleep around if I want. But... I'm afraid I can't uphold that name anymore anyway," she admitted, blushing.

"Eh, nobody's who they are anymore," he said offhandedly. "I'm so far away from the original me that I couldn't even begin to be—me. You know?"

Sheena nodded. "I think I do, yeah... Especially a few minutes ago," she agreed, dazedly grinning.

"Heheh, you fuck like a tiger."

"_Thanks_," she replied flatly.

"Geez, take the compliment for all that it's worth. I'm serious here!"

"No really, thank you... for showing me that I'm capable. I think this is a turning point!"

"Uh uh. No turning points tonight. Wait until the hormones subside," Zelos teased. She sighed deeply.

"Okay, I'll get around to rebuilding Misao later. I'll let you find out who she is... if you never speak a word of any of this."

"Sounds good," he promised. He shifted for a moment, chilled, probably, from the summer night's breeze. "Maybe we ought to get back. They'll be missing us and getting _ideas_."

"Can't be good," added Sheena, shaking her head. "That bed is pretty comfy, just so you know..."

"No, actually, I don't care if they miss us; it's that the city of Heimdall doesn't deserve to see the Envoy from the Dark Abyss..." He smirked.

Sheena shut her eyes tightly and sat up, praying that he had not just said that. "Zelos, you sick pervert! You can't name it that!"

"Hah, oh, you have something better? Why not Hammer of Godly Thunder, heh heh!"

"I don't know what's wrong with Meltokio, but where I'm from _those_ do not deserve names!" she said lightly, laughing.

"Oh, you _know_ this one does..." He winked at her, handing over her clothes. "Using a one-liner from Efreet, 'I'll bestow upon you my raging inferno...' Or did you hear what Lloyd said during the Kendama competition?!"

"All right, enough innuendo," she ordered, smiling. "Let's go back."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Tired dawn consented to arrive again, urging Zelos to wake. He opened his eyes to find a gigantic mound of blankets piled atop of him, remembering the scheme from the night before. It would look as though he was not there; instead, a discordant setup of sheets. Because he had wanted to be there for the first time as she woke up. He had but to try and escape the scorching covers to feel her body there, sleeping still. How angelic and calm her image seemed. It was a peaceful tranquility he had never been privy to in the sunlight. And the beauty...

The gentle rise and fall of her chest, her heart beating lowly; things to which he had never taken notice behind their endowment, and now they acted so close, pressed up against his skin. He saw also a thin glimmer of light playing through the forest of black hair, and her lips curled ever-so slightly at perhaps a pleasant dream. '_Finally_,' he thought, '_you're dreaming good dreams_.' Sheena took a deep breath which caused her to shift.

No, please don't move. Please don't ever move.

This precious being clinging to him, this frail thing; he wanted to see her like this forever, for the entire day, for all of the days to come. He didn't really give a damn about the goings-on in the world, or her past, or his. Just to see the loveliness in her in the morning, to see how much good came of her from so much ill... he was redeemed. He wanted to stay by her. He would not forsake her, or leaver in an abbey, or betray her. Ever or again. Never and forever. Because he loved her, really, no matter what shroud he could pull over it.

He ventured to reach out and touch her face if for naught but to make sure she was real. More a gesture of astonishment than affection, though predicaments would prove otherwise. He let his fingers trace her cheek, her nose, and until her lip; she flinched in return and squeezed her eyelids. It was a damned shame to disturb the quintessence of elegance so early if ever. You bastard idiot Chosen.

Sheena groaned, waving her hand to swat his. She finally blinked her eyes open, revealing the lovely brown irises he had so coveted. It was official. He couldn't help it. He was incurably intoxicated. '_But I swear this is the last promise I'll ever break._'

"Misao," he addressed.

"Oh, god," she muttered, wincing. "Oh Martel, what time is it? Can I—can you even be here?"

Zelos nodded. "But I don't know what time it is. Only I haven't heard any noise, so everyone must be sleeping."

"M'kay, then. Good morning, Zelos," she said nonchalantly as if over breakfast.

"Good morning, hu—h... ho-ney. Whoa, that was different," he stammered. She laughed.

"Well, you won't have to say it ever again. Remember the—deal? We have to pretend this never happened, and you just want me for my body, and you don't know that we're so alike."

Zelos pouted. "Can't we save that until later when we have to do our job?" he asked juvenilely.

"What's with the epiphany? You were the one who set the rules, anyway," Sheena said. He closed his eyes.

"You must not see you when you sleep."

Sheena was rather taken aback by his remark. Nobody had cared to watch over her while she rested. It was the sweet thing you read in a romance novel smuggled under your bed, or some overdone pickup line, but here... To think that he was watching her as she had watched him without tainted thoughts... She smiled and nestled her head into his chest.

"You idiot Chosen," she whispered softly.

"Right..." He sighed, defeated.

"Though, I—"

"Hn?"

Sheena blushed profusely. This was no time for sappy love confessions. Keep it together. "Nothing. Honestly, I can't spend too much time trying to sort all of _this_ out because I'll have lost the reason why I'm here in the first place."

"Yeah, I guess you're right," Zelos agreed. "I'm gonna go back to my own side now. See you in a few—oh, I don't know. When _they_ wake up." A last time he pressed his warm lips to hers so that they hardly touched. The sweetness of his gesture was what Sheena remembered as her first true kiss.

He clambered over to the left corner of the bed and finally allowed himself to be viewed over the blankets. Wait—there was a strange silence from the four beds close by. He sat up and scanned the room to find the entire group gone.

"Oh shit. We overslept!" he exclaimed, jumping from the many sheets.

"What?" Sheena yelped. She, too, left the large bed and donned herself in the usual outfit, hands flying across the ribbon, over, under, through. "What if they saw us?! What the hell! You stupid—I can't believe you overslept! You said your brain worked like an alarm clock!" she screeched.

"Banshee's back," he muttered, throwing on his boots.

"Damn you! It'll be your fault! Which reminds me: none of my real name outside of now!" Sheena dashed to the door, blindly, nearly running straight into the elf standing there.

"Hold on there, Ms. Ninja," the small elven-woman said. "You're Fujibayashi and the Chosen, correct?"

Out of breath again, she replied, "Uh-huh. Sorry, but I have to leave!"

"I instructed for you to please wait," repeated the elf, blocking the door with her arm. Sheena had no choice but to stand back.

"Don't tell me they left already."

"No, miss. Your friends are having breakfast. I've been told by a silver-haired half-elf to wake them without drawing attention to you and to provide a breakfast quickly so they may not ask questions. It has been done, miss," she reported. Sheena was left speechless. She turned to Zelos for a reply, but he simply shrugged.

"So—... nobody has seen the Chosen and me?"

"Not since before last night. Although, I suggest that you not wake the entire village next time. We can provide rooms." The summoner's face flushed deeply in regards to her volume the previous night. With notions cast aside so, too, had been the social limits she normally upheld. But this wasn't Mizuho, and they already ignored humans for being stupid. "Don't fret, miss. Only we elves who listen to the folds of the wind sing to the moon overheard... or we who simply worry about our customers."

"What, you're so attached to a rowdy group like us?" Zelos questioned, hands on hips. His voice deflected off of Sheena's ears as another possibility formulated in her mind. What if Colette overheard them with her angel senses? What if, oh Martel, what if Raine overheard? _What if Genis was listening_? Surely they'd be dead, or near it. Surely.

"I'm the manager here, and if you don't mind my saying, I heard your friends discussing their quest and had to help out. I don't discriminate against travelers, since hardly any come anymore and those who do stay with friends or family. I fed and provided for the half-elves," the elf woman said with a voice as soundless but orchestral as a sunrise.

"I didn't catch your name," Zelos commented suavely.

"Pegn," replied she.

"Well hello, my wise and wonderful elf muffin. I'm Zel—oh. You already know me, of course..."

"Zelos! We have to get going before they really suspect something," interjected Sheena.

"Not to worry. Whatever will be, will be, _honey_," he assured her.

"Thank you so much for—everything, Pegn," she said gratefully, scurrying past the door.

"A mere courtesy," the elf replied. She stood in the corner of the room betwixt a table and bookshelf, watching Zelos tag along behind his forbidden lover, though slowly. Her eyes were eerie and glass-like, somewhat of a windowpane. An omniscient overseer she was in vocation and description.

"I've gotta do what she says," he said quickly underneath the spell of her gaze.

"Wait a split moment more. There's a big breakfast, so they won't think as quickly, but they will still notice your untimely arrivals." He waited, impatiently, caught by those eyes. Suddenly their hardness broke and a kind allowance showed. This elf was nothing to fear, though the mirrors of her face were threatening still. "Go now," she urged.

"Uh-huh," he said uncertainly, and jogged down the porch stairs.

"How—endearing, those two..."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Sheena! I thought you died!" Genis shouted at her disheveled appearance.

"You really had us worried," Colette frowned.

Genially Sheena flashed a smile and grabbed the plate awaiting her. "I'm sorry, guys. I was just thinking about some things that made me worry, and... I had a breakthrough and I'm not worrying anymore, I guess," she blurted through a mouthful of toasted bread. Never before had the toast tasted decent, much less as wonderful as that very piece had.

"I'm glad," Raine said, smiling solemnly. She rose from beneath the shade of the large tree overlooking the river, "though you've quite spent the patience and hospitality of others."

Hostilely, Sheena stared back. Apparently Raine had known; she must have been the silver-haired half-elf of which Pegn spoke. "Can I discuss this with you _privately_?" she asked. Oh, how she hated to leave the toast and fruit and milk, but a consenting movement was made by the Professor to follow. Sheena stood from the patterned picnic blanket which lay spread by the river with a distaste of being forced into a lecture.

Instant pain.

Shoots of it came from deep within the void between her legs. It was an inexplicable onset of cramps, or what seemed to be cramps; it felt to her the gnawing remains of a taunting reminder. He had left and indelible scar in her from the incident. It then occurred to her that perhaps it was a delayed reaction to a breached hymen, for in prior instances it must have stretched. And yes, there had been blood visible now, but as she dressed she must have missed it absentmindedly thinking it was menstrual blood. The only relief in any of it was that she hadn't ended up pregnant from her careless actions. But he still made her bleed and break. He made her bleed and break and tore her in half and tortured her, but what had she done to oppose it. Nothing. Nothing could be done because she willed herself to be with him.

Wincing and waddling somewhat, the summoner managed to regain proper stance as she followed Raine aside.

"I guess _you_ heard, too. Join the club," remarked the ninja. Raine lowered her head.

"Faintly, like a dream, but that isn't the point."

"Look, are you jealous or something? Just because I finally was able to experience—real love! Or ashamed, is that it? Because I'm pretty sure this has nothing to do with you."

"Nothing to do, huh?" the older woman asked. She elevated her voice enough to convey her point. "Aside from the shame factor, I'd say your act was probably the riskiest stunt a person in your position could pull! Oh, but don't listen to anyone else's needs." Sheena moved to protest. "No. I don't want to hear it. You don't have to explain to your twelve-year-old brother what's going on in _lies_ because you're sleeping outside because you're a half-elf! You aren't even decent enough to wait another day, or to move to some other locale out of earshot of an _entire village_. Do you realize that you are, in fact, falling in love?"

Sheena lost words at that moment, heart pounding ferociously. She swooned and leaned against the wooden support beams of the nearby house.

"You don't. But I guess you don't see what's wrong with that either! If you fall in love, that's a distraction. If you're distracted today, Lloyd loses confidence and fails to defeat Kratos. Then you will not be able to make a pact, and Derris-Kharlan will not come. There will be no mana. There will be no life. There will be no _anything_ because of a silly idea in your head that men are worth chasing!"

"Martel, Raine!" groaned Sheena. "I am a grown woman! This little affair was for one night _only_ and we both agreed; and I know it sounds crazy but I forgot about the world, and the—my _goddess_ I am not a _child_!"

"Then stop acting like one. You may not be one in body, but your willful actions will cost you. You may not realize it because you're so clouded by this—this whimsical temptation to leave everything else and run off with that man. But there's one mistake I don't want you to make, because instead of deserting a small boy and a schoolroom of duties, you're deserting the lives of everyone. Everyone, Sheena. Understand?" fumed Raine. Sheena could see the impending tears in her eyes, and wondered how it was that Raine had come to know the ways of men in the first place. Still, her statements held a terrible piercing truth. Sheena was the only person who could call forth the proper Spirit to establish the Eternal Sword. If her task was abdicated by feelings of attachment for Zelos, it would be tallied as another failed attempt on her record. Except no living person would be there to cast it.

Flustered, she wished to redeem herself by some aspersion, but realized there was no use for it. The pain in Raine's expression, the pain in her body was enough to rationalize her. "I... do," she answered sincerely. "I suppose those feeling I thought I had were... A drawback to ancient Mizuho tradition... I hate that bastard." She stood defiantly, composed now.

But it was a lie. She still had those _feelings_. Not to mention the feelings of cramps. She couldn't get the memory of his touch out of her head. She couldn't forget the way he was so kind to her, and providing, and... It was supposed to be for one night. It was supposed to go away. She wasn't supposed to love him now. God, she was not Misao or Sheena, and just as he'd said, nobody is who they are anymore. She wanted... everything.

Defeated, she watched the Professor return to the riverside alone, and feared the moment when Zelos would arrive.

'_God, my cunt..._'

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

And now for something completely different!

--Trickssi

PS—R&R, PLEASE! Make me feel loved! This was my favorite chapter to write! (Still shooting for 100)


	13. For What It's Worth

**Disclaimer**: I (**_still_**) do not own the characters of _Tales of Symphonia_, however much I wish to do so.

**Warning**: R (say it with a trill!) Prior warnings apply, but if you've read past the last chapter, it's likely you don't care or it's been okayed. It doesn't get worse than chapter 12. Actually, wait, this is an "M" now that they changed the system while I was gone... Dammit, another thing I'll have to go in and change in every chapter... :fumes:  
**Pairings**: Sheelos, mainly.

**Dedication**: To each and every writer or fan of Sheelos, especially Rose-Wisteria who jump-started my idea. To the C2 Community, here's for letting my story in finally! To Dani, the only person at school who has bothered to read this. To the reviewers. Here's to us.

Hey, it's been awhile, huh! Crazy little thing called writers' block, and a stressful summer... But now I'm back, and I must say I feel so INCREDIBLY loved by you guys! One hundred and ten reviews! We did it! My thanks cannot extend far enough to you for reading and appreciating my arduous work. But it's not done yet. There are still two chapters to go, after this. So hang tight, and I assure you this will be done by—eventually! And now, reviewer appreciation! However, I have been FLOODED with so many lovely lovely reviews that I shall now just have to honourably mention you, because it's getting that the responses are longer than the chapter...

**Rin**, **Niamh nic Raghnall**, **starr**, **Kat**, **AmaDono**, **Taiy-Chan**, **Tarauka-Sosuro**, **Pale-Blu**, **jellybeanz225**, **_Rose-Wisteria_**, **Megamage**, **physicalmanifestationofbeauty**, **Darknoodle890**,** Lee**, **FrzCherryBlossom**, **EvilEbil**, **Roy SweetSnow**, **Ryoko77san**, **sylenis**, **Sassyrecombinantpassions**, **Neko-Koorime**, **Ryu Isaac**.

**Other notes**: Yes, Zelos was referring to _his_... erm... y'know... when he was naming the Summon Spirits. He's a dirty rat bastard, ain't he? And I love him. M'kay, now here goes.

--Trickssi

**Chapter Thirteen: For What It's Worth**

Of course, there was a half-chance he could have been streaming lies about sleeping with other women; this could be a venereal disease, couldn't it. Or maybe she was just paranoid. Sheena cursed the million misgivings fervently, but all the more so when the demeanor of Colette hovered in front by a few steps. The stark purity of the girl was displayed upon the starched white panels of her clothing right down to the gloves where dirt and particles of soot ought to have compiled from her arduous travels. Surely within Colette's mind there must have been ponderings of sin, surely this girl had slain a good ten score of monsters, surely something had to be her guilty pleasure. What, though, was the key to all of this? What push-broom swept up the misgivings and misfortune and remedied them for this wholesomeness? Ah, what she wouldn't give.

Or, what hadn't she given?

Think on it, Sheena.

There were a dozen things at least that had been pilfered from her irrevocably. She wouldn't again maintain virginity, her original mana strength had been reaped, and her first crush—crushed. Although these assets did not seem to warrant much in her favor when they had been there, they had still been taken away. And recently, her mind could grasp no concept but Zelos. Raine had been wholly correct in her warning; there was naught save for peril ahead if she could not control herself. It had been recklessness initially beginning the attachment to Zelos, and since, she had not learned a single inkling. Now came the time for intervention on—daresay, a fourth party's part.

Hastily Sheena reached out for the fabric of Colette's shirt-back. Even the touch was something nebulous like a cloud, she noted. She began in a quiet tone, "Colette?" The angel quickly turned her head and acknowledged her calling. "I wanna ask you something kind of personal, if you don't mind."

"Sure! What's on your mind?" she queried in response, punctuating it with a smile as Sheena caught up from behind. Joy came so easily over the girl it was almost shameful.

"Ah—I... need some advice," Sheena admitted. She had not intended the request to sound as needy as it did; nevertheless, Colette would oblige without further question.

"Oh, are you worried about today and having to get Origin's power?"

"Well... Yes, I'm worried about obtaining power. But there's just—how do you—?" Sheena eyed Regal, the three of them being at the rear, and considered he was wholly able to eavesdrop. The convict put his fingers to his ears politely to signify his consent to their privacy. "It's just that you've been so brave through all you've experienced. You've been so ambitious, you know? And even though you—care for Lloyd very much, you can still keep your goal in sight." The words had to be chosen carefully lest the girl comprehend the subtle screaming lies. Sidestep over Sheena, but correct the metaphor for Colette.

In turn, Colette blushed a little. "I guess I have been rather focused even with Lloyd here," she said.

"How do you keep from giving up?" A simple enough question, but its ill-placement was overbearing amid the dense and confusing forest that was Colette's thought process.

"Wh-what? I mean, what do you mean, Sheena?"

"What I asked. What keeps you from giving in to these evil influences?" she reiterated, becoming agitated despite her vast care for the girl.

"Influences? Sheena... If you think that you're giving up because you're weak, or I'm strong, then you have it all wrong!" Colette noted in a more mature tone. "I meant what I meant back in Iselia. I could never be as great a person as you are! Don't give up your cause just because you're worried you might not get—Origin to help us. Because if it turns out you can't, which it _won't_, then I have a feeling things will still be okay. It doesn't matter if you don't think you're strong enough because _I_ think you are." The girl stopped Sheena's strolling alongside her to attempt to better convey the point which was, in all seriousness, the reason why Colette had survived up to that point. "Remember what you told me when I had Chronic Angellus Crystallus Inofficium?"

Sheena shook her head, disappointed in herself for not recalling the event. Here Colette stood, pouring out her heart in remembrance of one of the most significant events of her life, and Sheena could not seem to bring back the memory in her mind. Damn it.

"You said that—I think it was—'You can't let this disease take you over. It's the crystal that's making you think this way. If you let it crystallize completely, we won't have our bright little angel to keep us happy.' That's what you told me, so I'll say it right back to you. You can't let your sudden loss of confidence or whatever it is rule you. That is what's keeping you from feeling like you can't give up. And—if you let it take over like the crystal, then you won't be the same Sheena I wanted to be friends with ever since we met! Sure, things with Origin, and—maybe even things with the world will have to go differently because of your lack of will, but most importantly, if you fail now, we won't ever have the same Sheena back. And that would make me... _so_ sad."

Surprised was the ninja that the angel had thought so intensely on the subject, but even more surprised was she that tears were forming in the girl's eyes from the mere notion of their bond being mangled. Indeed, before that moment Sheena had been relating in her mind that Colette knew nothing of its entire relevance to her relationship with Zelos; it transformed then into a moment to be reflective of only the two girls. Colette truly, in her naiveté, could sense that something was devouring Sheena's goodness like the Cruxis Crystal of only days ago. The ability to sense her danger and solve her problems through compelling words meant that she cared. This moment of sisterhood could not be blasphemed with themes of the man in Sheena's life. No, it meant so much more.

"And no matter what Raine yelled at you for this morning, you don't have to live up to her expectations," Colette continued. "Trust me. I've known her for most of my life. You just have to keep doing what's right for you, and believe in yourself. Believe, Sheena, and be like you know you are. Be you!"

Colette felt herself pulled into a tight embrace with her elder. The bitter sweetness was beyond her; though, it was nice to receive a hug from her heroine.

"Yeah, Colette, you're right," admitted the dry-eyed Sheena. "I need to find my inner peace. I guess that's your secret, huh? Keep everything right for me and be myself... I'm gonna make you proud."

"You'll make me proud no matter what!" exclaimed the blonde. She sniffled her tears away in the sanctity of Sheena's shoulder.

From ahead, Regal had slowed the group and gone back to retrieve the pair. "Sheena, Colette; I hate to interrupt, but we seem to have arrived a short way ahead," he informed them.

"Oh no!" Colette exclaimed worriedly. The situation with Lloyd versus his arch nemesis father drove her attention away from the revelation. "Lloyd..."

Colette then ran ahead, leaving a baseless grin on Sheena's face. She had been right all along, branching from her will to sacrifice herself for the good of the world. What had come of this naiveté was an abstract truth about being oneself at whatever cost. For Colette, who had prepared for her own destruction to set the world straight, Sheena would become her old self for the good of the group.

The syncopation of her footsteps hastened to match the tempo of Regal's as the clan neared the center of the Forest. The bluehead did not falter a moment at her approach. How calm, expecting, accepting; initially representing the jaded but presenting a wider wisdom of practicality, Regal was a just person. Though circumstances forced his being taken hostage in the beginning, he now remained the only one putting himself in bonds, cuffs to restrain a lethal power for his peace of mind. His sacrifice. However, the superfluous shackles represented a freedom once all was rectified. He had promised Alicia to remove them once this journey was completed, and he would wait, and fight for the sake of getting them off.

Yes, yes, he had made a promise to Alicia to quell his power until it was all over. Just until...

Sheena quickened past Genis.

And there strode he, anxious for Lloyd's self-approbation. He had relinquished a companion, too. Mithos would have abused the boy past reason; and knowing (or perhaps not knowing?) this, Genis held off their friendship. Damper a relationship lest he be brainwashed.

Past Raine, another would-be martyr. Apparently she had suffered a tumultuous relationship with some mystery male, but left him for her brother's well-being. Past Presea, who could have informed the young half-elf of her age, who could have long ago given up avenging twelve laborious years.

Past Zelos.

And past Zelos, Lloyd faced his birth father. He looked so different now, hardened by battles and trials. It was almost uncanny how much he actually resembled his father. How had she not seen it before? Or, had it appeared over time? That seemed the prescription. Indeed, he looked and behaved a more mature individual.

So everyone was different. So, everyone but she...

"If you want the pact with Origin, then you must defeat me," Kratos spoke.

"So... this is how it is with you," Lloyd said to himself, seemingly preparing against the confusion of battle.

"Everyone, leave this to me."

"You're going to fight alone?" Kratos questioned. More quietly, he annexed, "You'll never be able to kill me that way."

"I am," Lloyd replied. Nothing more, nothing less. He hadn't even acknowledged his father's remark. This was difference.

"Yeah—and you'd better prepare yourself!" Sheena shouted. He knit his brow. "Lloyd... he possesses more strength than you can imagine. He's not the same kid you knew back when you were with us. But you already know that, don't you? You see his potential and it scares you, doesn't it? He'll kill you... I have no doubt in that. He'll do it because it's what has to be done."

And he's not afraid. He's given his mother, his innocence, his pride, and a never-ending effort that have all been swallowed up by the hounds of heaven. That was the difference; that was his sacrifice.

"Get ready!" Lloyd warned in preparatory stance.

"I'm not going to hold back for you," Kratos said.

"I know. I won't either."

Swords clashed together in a dissonance of metal and brawn. Sheena had no need to watch; all of her confidences rested in Lloyd fully. Colette clung close to her, however, biting her lip.

"Do you think he'll win?" Genis asked from behind.

"He will. He has to," Presea calmed him.

"Not just because it has to be done. He's so strong. I believe in him," said Colette. She smiled. Ah, the affections of love were well-adorned on her. It was well that Sheena had allowed Colette to have Lloyd.

"He's a great person. His bravery is... something else," she admitted.

"Hey, what about me?" She turned her head to see Zelos staring at her indignantly.

"What _about_ you?"

"Sheena, you... Do I really have nothing to do with this?"

"This isn't about you. This is about Lloyd and saving the worlds with Origin."

"So you're just gonna ignore me. I see how it is."

"Zelos—!" she tried to restrain herself, but could no longer hold back the frustration of miscommunication. She whirled around and faced him directly. "How the hell is it, then, Zelos? WQhy don't you tell me what I'm supposed to feel, and while you're at it, how I'm supposed to treat _you,_ of all people, in this moment of respect for our cause!"

Several blinked. Kratos paused. Lloyd parried. Zelos was dumbfounded.

"Look, I don't understand what is with you," he began in a lowered voice, "but it was to my understanding that we had a certain trust between us. There's something wrong with you right now, I know it. You're afraid. You really shouldn't be. Whatever needs to happen will happen, okay? Qué será, será."

A pain again resurfaced in her womb to match the painful blinking away of tears. '_Stop talking to me, Zelos. I'm going to get confused again. I'm not allowed to love you, so don't way things like that to try to make it happen!'_ she thought. She tried to focus on what Lloyd was doing in battle, how he was faring.

Slash, parry, magic, parry, stab. It was over.

"And no matter what happens—"

"It's _over_," Lloyd punctuated.

"—we'll find a way."

"You've... grown strong," Kratos muttered. Of course he has, Kratos. Told you. Think of Origin, it's your time. "Aren't you going to finish me off? I thought I had earned the right to die."

From slightly behind her Sheena could feel Zelos's weight hitch upon the words, "right to die."

"No? Then I'll break the seal myself."

"No, Kratos! You're so stupid! Once you die, that's the end. What will you accomplish by that? Nothing! So, die on your own time!" Lloyd shouted hysterically. He knelt at the side of his wounded father and began to transfer half of his mana.

"That—" Zelos was slightly agape. "Could've been _me_..." He stepped back from Sheena a few pages and sighed audibly.

Meanwhile, the tomb-like seal was glowing and flashing; a figure materialized from its base. Vivid earthly colors and four arms reminded Sheena of a picture she had once seen at the Academy. This was Origin, most important and potent Summon Spirit in the known world.

"You who lack the right," addressed Origin. His voice echoed from seemingly oblivion and his lips were still. It was the highest display of command. "I have lost faith in all things. Have you come here to disappoint me again?"

"O-Origin, are you bound by a pact to Mithos?" she asked, now face-to-face with the demigod.

He shook his head. "My pact with Mithos was broken the moment I was freed. Never again shall anyone make use of my power."

"Even if I—if we—make a vow? We need the Eternal Sword direly!"

"It has to be used to reunite the worlds and revive the Giant Kharlan Tree! Unless we do something, the worlds will never stop vying for mana and nobody would be able to escape the suffering," Lloyd called from his father's side. Raine rushed over, sensing his dismay at immobility, and casted a quick healing spell upon the angel. Now, was it Sheena's imagination at play, or did Kratos enjoy the Professor's lap a _little_ too much?

"That situation was born from the simple weakness of creatures who are unable to accept those that are different," Origin solemnly replied.

"We have to do everything we can," Colette refuted. "It isn't our fault, but we will try to compensate for the mistakes of others nevertheless!"

"Origin, ideals change," Kratos chimed. The Summon Spirit seemed to pay greater attention and respect to the angel, who was now pushing himself off of the ground. "You know this. You cannot think that society will adopt this pattern as before; you must have faith in the races of the current world. In order to change something you must initiate it yourself: something I learned from a very wise son."

Grudgingly, "You, who possess the right of the pact, make your vow. I accept the duty of creating this world as a means of a base for _your_ ideal society of equality."

Sheena stepped forward. "I, Sheena Fujibayashi of Mizuho, have but one vow: to reclaim a world in which everyone can live without being threatened by discrimination, a world where everyone can live freely and in peace. That's all. I swear this upon my life and upon the honor of being a summoner."

"Then we shall create a pact upon that vow," Origin waged. "Now, fight!"

Sheena charged into battle headfirst with Lloyd, Zelos, and Raine following behind her. She struck out with the traditional pinions, but was hurled backwards into the air by a powerful spell. Catching her ground, she changed forward again and attempted to drain some of Origin; again she was tossed into the air. She lied on the ground for a moment, stunned. Raine casted a quick First Aid spell toward her.

"Thanks," Sheena replied, springing back up and into battle.

"Argh! He's too fast!" yelled Lloyd in anguish. He as well was recently pummeled backward into the air. Zelos thrusted his blade toward Origin, but it led him into thin air; he lost balance, and Origin appeared behind him and knocked forward his head. Zelos crumpled to his knees in the same flowing motion as his attack. The continuity was flawless to the point where it seemed rehearsed.

"EARTH BITE!" Lloyd and Zelos were now enveloped in a cluster of the earth's crust. It resembled a chrysanthemum, Sheena noticed. She promptly rose to her feet and started again at the Spirit.

"Demon Seal!" she announced. Origin was knocked backwards for a moment. "Lloyd, Zelos, GO!"

"Got it. Rising Falcon!"

"Victory Light Spear!"

"Photon!"

"Power Seal Pinion!"

"ABSOLUTE!"

All but Raine were scattered about helplessly, rag dolls in the elven mansion. Scrambling, Sheena pitched at Origin with her cards. "Haaa! Submit, Origin!"

"_Your_ power is lacking. RAMEESH!"

"Aagh!" The ground rushed at her body with a vengeance, and the voltage pinned her down.

"Tempest Beast!"

"Um... Double Demon Fang!"

Origin was out for the count. Raine casted a final spell for Sheena's new wounds, but it would not heal the damage to her pride. "Damn... Damn it! _I'm_ the one who's supposed to be showing the Spirits who's boss!"

"Pact-maker Sheena, I place my power in your hands." '_Not like I earned it, dammit. Zelos—that—argh! And with a simple Double Demon Fang, too! Insult to injury, and he _knew_ it!_' she protested in her head. "With that power, transform the Eternal Sword into a blade to save all life. However, the current Eternal Sword remains, as by Mithos's pact, unusable by those who lack the blood of elves. You must master the sword by your own power and forge a bond with it through the ring." Origin dissipated into the symbolic arc of power that Sheena was to possess. She, begrudged, accepted it and hoped that Lloyd or Kratos had been listening to that jazz about the Sword, because she sure as hell hadn't. Deeply, she sighed.

"Zelos... I can't believe you did that," Genis remarked. Sheena was just about to jump in with, "Yeah, I can't either, you sick bastard," but the boy continued: "And Lloyd, you finally—now we can complete the transaction—!"

Instantaneously, a globule broke free from Genis's grasp and levitated towards Lloyd. It attached itself to the clasp of the key crest as the half-elf emitted a gasp. A sickening peal of laughter came from Lloyd's throat in a foreign voice. Sheena swore she could place that grotesque chortle.

"There's no time... I'll take your body," he said; then, breaking free, Lloyd screamed, "N-N-NO!"

"It's Mithos!" Colette clarified.

"Genis!" Raine scolded, shocked.

A guilty red was painted on the boy's face as he assumed a defensive stance. "I didn't—I didn't know, okay! I took his Exsphere because I didn't want to believe... I never knew he could manifest himself in Lloyd's body!" he argued. Presea, almost inaudibly soothed him, "We know he was your friend. Even with Alicia's Exsphere you could not have known..."

Raine continued to chide: "Taking something like that is so reprehensibly dangerous! Do you have any idea what peril you could have...?"

"I just wanted him to be remembered—"

"It could have been different because he's with Cruxis—"

"—And if we don't do something immediately, Lloyd's body will be taken over!"

Colette stood with tears in her eyes, Zelos ambition in his; Sheena saw them both hesitate to run to the Mithos-bedeviled Lloyd. She knew Raine and Genis would not stop arguing. She knew Zelos was too torn to have himself possessed by his former master. She knew Colette was afraid to have anyone worry over her again. She knew it was her turn to make up for all of the Double Demon Fangs on the journey. This was what she had created the pact for; that upon which she had sworn her life: a world where everyone lives freely. How can freedom be achieved If their only hope for wielding the Eternal Sword was about to be captured and devoured by their nemesis? She swore to use her life to make things right. Mithos needed to be killed in a neutral vessel.

'_There, Love, I'll teach you to live out your name_.'

"Hold it, Mithos!" she shrieked at Lloyd. Quickly her feet brought her to the Crystal ; pushing Lloyd aside, she was seized by the embodiment of the half-elf. In the same voice, the intonation pressed, "Damn, you interfered! Fine, I'll just take this body."

The voice was hollow, abandoned. But the quality which halted the entire fracas was that it was _not_ Sheena's. Lloyd snapped to attention and was the first bold enough to challenge the half-elf.

"Sheena! Stop! Let her go! We promised a world without hardship on her life. You can't take her! Let her go!" he pleaded frantically.

"Ahahaha! What do I care? I'm leaving this filthy world behind!"

Zelos lunged at her body but was cast away by an ephemeral barrier. "Damn it! Sheena!" he called.

She was gone. Mithos evaporated her to his fortress. The ground began to shake; above them the Tower of Salvation was buckling and crumbling.

"The—the Tower of Salvation ! It's falling!" Genis yelled in fear.

"It's Mithos, he's trying to seal us off from Derris-Kharlan," Kratos explained.

"How the hell are we supposed to get there, then?" Lloyd asked.

"Eternal Sword," said Presea.

"Not now," began Raine. "There are innocent people in this village and there are no signs of the wreckage slowing. Elves or not, we have to save them for our cause! Let's hurry and evacuate everyone, and then move to a secure location before figuring out our plans. Hurry!"

Following orders, the pack and Kratos dashed out of Torent Forest (now more easily exited for all of the burned and smashed trees). Most of the group headed for the entrance, sparing the lives of those who were on their way; but Zelos was haunted by a kind of bravery that drove him back to the last house in the outskirts. He searched anxiously, but rubble seemed to prevail over any life that might have dwelt there. He meant to have a moment of silence, but it was interrupted by a small cry to his left. Zelos valiantly moved away the stones covering up the voice.

Underneath a considerable amount of housing, an elven woman fought for her life. "Help! Oh, gods, please save me!"

"Hang in there, I've almost gotcha—" Zelos stopped suddenly when he saw the metal shard poking from her chest. Oh, Martel, she must not be able to feel it.

"Why aren't you moving things? Why did you stop?" she cried out, panicked.

"You—you're badly wounded, ma'am," he told her gently.

"Ah! Oh—_gods_..." She had seen her silver blood spilling around the shard. "Take it out. Take it out now and I will heal quickly enough!"

But the edges were sharp and menacing. "There's no safe way to do it—I'm sorry, ma'am—I can't—you'll bleed to death!"

"I will not, sir! Take—take—"

"You'll make it worse, don't move! Ah, uh, wait here. I'm out of magic and supplies, but I do have a friend, that's a healer, she's half-elf, but she can—"

"Half-elf?" the woman scoffed.

"Come _on_. You can't honestly say you won't take her help. That's ridiculous!"

"I refuse."

"Then there's nothing I can do!" Zelos admitted. It was obvious now that her breathing was shallow and she could not last long.

"You—despicable human!" she spat. "It's because of _you_ that tragedies are born! You can create shadows of our kind—You're—_filthy_...!" Those were the last words she would utter in the mortal Tethe'alla.

"Lady! Aw, don't do this to me, lady," he begged. He closed her soulless eyes and sat back on a rock for a minute, still in front of the deceased elf. "Every time... Goddess damn every time... I didn't even know her. I was trying to be decent for once and save a life for its sake of being a life, but it's gone and backfired again, hasn't it? I was past all of that elf, half-elf, human crap. Guess I can't even have that now, huh, Mithos? What else are you going to take away from me, huh?" He stood and squinted up at a phosphorescent sky. Derris-Kharlan. "What the hell else? You can have my mom. You can have my dignity; you already took that without asking, too. You can have that false allegiance for so many years—You can even have _her_," he said, half-heartedly motioning to the woman. "But I've had enough of this bullshit, Mithos, if you know what I mean. You're not gonna take my drive, Yggdrasill. You can't seduce me into your darkness anymore, because I will get that ideal world. You will pay, you scrawny bastard. You take my one devotion as a trivial vessel and you die."

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX **

Luckily he was not the last one to flock back to Lloyd's side; he almost feared getting left behind for it would mean his chance to avenge Sheena was gone.

"That's all of them," called Kratos as he regrouped last.

"We need to make the Ring of the Pact, don't we?" Lloyd asked lowly.

"Altessa is not well enough. There is a zero percent chance he would be able to aid us," Presea noted.

"Yes, yes, but we can't just sit around here thinking about it. There's got to be someone; and if not, I'm sure Kratos is knowledgeable and Lloyd crafty enough to make it," Raine rationalized.

"Lloyd, I know someone!" Colette yelped.

"_Who_?"

"What about Dirk?"

"Dad!" The light bulb was set ablaze. "We'll get Dad to make it."

Kratos edged toward the exit of the village. "Then we need to get to Sylvarant as fast as possible."

"What the hell are you guys talking about? Sheena just got abducted! How are we going to solve that?" Zelos shouted at Lloyd. "We can use the Eternal Sword to save the world, why not her?"

"... Zelos is right," argued Raine.

"We... can use the Sword to take us to Derris-Kharlan so we can defeat Mithos at the same time, and then we'll regenerate the worlds," Lloyd suggested.

"Well, let's get on with that Ring, then. Can't use the Sword until it's made, right?" Zelos urged.

"Right."

"Sylvarant?"

"Sylvarant."

**WHATPOSSIBLEVALUEDOESONEBURDENEDTOEXISTWITHCURSEDBLOODHAVE? **

A body lying on the ground. Boy and two men and body.

"Oh no, Martel!" the boy sobbed. "You! How could you have done this to my sister?" Sheena understood where she was: a crevice of Mithos's past.

"Human! You will never be accepted among us, traitor!"

"It was what had to be done. And just how much are you willing to risk to get the mana?"

"Martel... Martel—Martel, wake up! I'll never trust any of you again!"

It was horrendous and wrenching to watch a young Mithos torn between family and friends, elves and humans, right and wrong. Was this the memory from which all of those cheap lifeless being concepts sprouted? She would not let it sway her, though provoking it was. "_Get the hell out of me, Mithos._"

"No! I don't have a body to go to!"

"_You'll get out now! Don't force me! I am strong enough to—augh—!" _

"Don't even bother, you Mizuho slut. I can see all of your thoughts, your memories—almost as tainted as mine. Except, oh, that's right: _I_ didn't kill and entire village!"

It was then in the void that Sheena began to feel her physical body tense and form, originating from the sudden ache in her core. Not again. Not yet another attack at the center of her body, the emotion-house. "_NO!_" She struggled to shake her head, clench her fists; the pain ebbed.

"Urgh—! You'd surrender yourself to that insubordinate conniving Zelos, and yet you can't even submit your body to the man whose ideas will change the world for the better for a short distance? How pathetic are you?"

"_Not at all!_" Sheena lifted her left hand to her right and began clawing at the key crest in pulses of control.

"You fool! Even if you do manage to extricate me, I know everything about you; your weaknesses, your fears, your... loves. It would serve you ill to try and fight back when I get my body again. I'll go straight for what hurts you the most!" A final tug to her nerves and his Cruxis crystal clicked itself free and floated from grasp.

"_A-ah!_" Sheena howled. She gained her motor skills too quickly and could not catch herself. Grasping at the blank black air she was unable to find the crystal which had loosed itself from her hand. Suddenly the blackness did not have a foundation, and she was falling hard toward the bottom, toward some now nearly-visible ray of electric green. Upon reaching the symbol's clearer definition, Sheena felt light as a feather and rather hovered to her feet. The symbol was below her then.

'_Where am I? This symbol seems familiar,_' she thought. The circle morphed around her and shot her upwards in a streak of limelight. A transport: the one she had seen in the Tower of Salvation . Though, this one led to an unfamiliar location. Blue translucent paneling all around. She stepped to the edge of the raised platform upon which she was standing and attempted to scout out a possible landmark. Would Mithos really leave her there alone, perhaps for eternity?

The answer arrived in pink and white:

No.

Through the same symbol fell Zelos, and he landed on his knees close behind her. She whirled around to help him to his feet.

"Sheena!" he said incredulously. "No way! Awesome! I guess I just reached my goal ten times faster..."

"Where did you come from, and how did you get here, and _why_?"

Zelos said nothing at first, and instead pulled her into a grateful but swift embrace. "I'm... just glad he didn't, y'know, kill you, or rape you, or, y'know," he stammered, taking his distance.

"Heh, well, he sort of raped my memories, but it's nothing, really," she mentioned.

"Aw, that's no fun. It's better with consent!"

"Zelos, seriously. How did you—?" Her query again was cut short by a sudden occurrence in the atmosphere. A whirring sound accompanied by a vaporous black cloud.

"I don't know. I don't know where I am, actually," Zelos answered, continuing as though nothing had happened.

"Hang on—do you hear something?" she asked urgently.

"Hm, like a whooshy sort of sound?"

"Yeah, it's—" The black hole began to exert an irregular amount of pull on the pair. Hm, black hole black hole? How _odd_, indeed. "We're being sucked in!" Sheena cried to him as she began to pace away from it. It was to no avail.

"Shit, let's get out of here!"

"We can't! It's blocking our exit!" An edge of the darkness latched on to both of their legs and they were set running in place to try to escape it.

"Ow—jeez! What is this thing?" Zelos shouted to Sheena who was now forcibly turned away from him.

"I don't know," she replied, "but don't look down."

"How can you honestly expect me not to when you say something like that?" He glanced down past their feet and the sheer paneling; beneath the black void was an arachnid waiting, rather hungry-looking as well. "Aw, man, Sheena!"

"I _told_ you not to look! See if you can outrun it!" she yelled toward him. When she turned her head back forward, she noticed a figure materializing from thin air.

"What's wrong, baby summoner? You'll be caught unless you hurry up and _run_," it mocked. The form then shaped into a ninja of red and hatred: Kuchinawa.

"Such a pathetic sight, Zelos," said another voice. This one chilled Sheena's marrow: Seles, rampant insane stalker. She must have been tormenting Zelos.

"Kuchinawa... Why are you...?"

"It's got to be an illusion. There's no way these two would be here," Zelos rationalized. But that thought seemed impossible to Sheena—they were there, right in front of them!

"You're so stupid, the both of you. You've shut your eyes to reality for so long that you can't even tell what's real anymore!" Seles chuckled.

"You grew up in Mizuho, yet you still can't tell if I'm real or an illusion? You really are a failure, Sheena."

_Failure_.

"It's so sad. How did someone so unworthy become the Chosen ? It's no wonder he betrayed his friends."

Quietly, Zelos reminded himself, "That has nothing to do with it."

"Neither of you should have been born. Everyone would have been so much happier had you not been born!" Kuchinawa blamed. He glared at Sheena with hurtful scythes of eyes. "You brought misfortune and shame upon the people of Mizuho!"

"I... I have not brought misfortune to—"

"Can you really say you haven't? You, the coward who trembled before Volt and killed your comrades."

_Coward_.

"One betrayed his friends and came back shamelessly, and the other murdered the people of her village and sought retribution in a suicide mission to Sylvarant. This shall be a fitting end!" Seles cackled loftily.

"If you think you can run, run! You'll be devoured by the darkness and die!"

The vortex's pull became all at once ten times stronger. It was too difficult to keep trudging along, keep fighting it.

"Dammit! We're gonna fall to that monster unless we do something!" Zelos shouted in frustration.

"You have got to be joking," Sheena replied.

"Aw, ickle Zelos. Would you like me to save you and your widdle precious girlfriend?" asked Seles, the false kindness sputtering out of her as though a fountain.

"Pledge loyalty to Cruxis."

"That monster below will bestow eternal suffering upon you. If it devours you, you will neither live nor die. You will be trapped in true darkness, tormented in isolation forever," a foreign voice added. It was airy and youthful.

"Forever..." As Sheena repeated it, she remembered what Zelos had mentioned of the time-and-space rupture in that pit of the Tower of Salvation . _You'd keep falling forever until you drove your mad self to believe you were dead to end the pain of existing in that void_. Neither living nor dead.

"I can save you. Join me and defeat Lloyd. Then it will all be over!" the voice encouraged.

"Lord Mithos has agreed to let the people of Mizuho keep their traditions," Kuchinawa said.

"And he'll remove the title and duties of the Chosen from you and transfer everything to _me_."

Zelos stared at Seles. "She'll gain the power of the Chosen ?"

"What I've wanted more than anything else in my life, the power of the Chosen ! You'll let me have it, won't you, Big Brother? Just imagine, you won't be tied to marrying the Princess; and your life might actually be able to mean something to you!"

"All you need to do is pledge your allegiance to me. As soon as you do that, I'll save you from your fate," the intangible Mithos offered.

It was a lot to take in, especially combined with sprinting and a looming existence of suffering present as well. Sheena could not think clearly; why did she want to side with Yggdrasill all of a sudden? He had information on her secrets, and was going to eliminate her culture, for starters. And on top of that, he'd offered Zelos a shot at normal life—

And by the way, since when was Zelos betrothed to the Princess?—

... which meant that if he surrendered the title he could marry whomever he pleased. Oh, that he had that freedom!

"Mizuho..."

"Seles will become the Chosen ..."

"Freedom of culture...?" she asked, entranced.

"Listen to me, both of you!" Voice. Voice from below. Lloyd's voice—but out of the spider? "I've come for you guys. I'm right down here below you!"

Sheena could see Zelos shake his head out of the corner of her eye. "Whoa, this can't be true. Not Lloyd, too! That's just the monster speaking," he said.

"Yes, it is, because that Lloyd is just an illusion," Mithos consoled. "The monster is mimicking his voice to lure you."

"I'm not an illusion! Don't listen to him. Do you think it's better for the people of Mizuho to become part of the Age of Lifeless Beings? Do you think it's okay for Seles to become the Chosen and have the possibility of sacrifice over her head?" the so-called Lloyd asked in earnest.

"I..."

"But..."

The spider's silhouette disappeared and left a nebulous emptiness in its wake. "Both of you have to decide for yourselves, but I have faith that you won't just keep running away even if it's difficult! Don't forget: your lives have value just by existing!"

"Just by existing... _my_ life has value?" Sheena asked him. However the answer came not from Lloyd, but from the other insubstantial being.

"Of course not. No life has value simply for existing! A person can make himself valuable by the deeds he does in life; and killing your own town because of your personal weakness is so pathetically invaluable!"

"So it's about weakness? Whoa, I did _not_ just risk my life back there to save an _elf_ because I'm weak," Zelos snarled. "If anyone, it's you who is weak!"

"You threaten to reject my proposition?"

"You know what I long for, yet you still interfere!" Seles raged.

"Ah, the Chosen , always interfering with everyone's plans. You're such an obstacle. If only you hadn't—"

"I think it's worth it that I interfered! And I think that from this experience I mean enough to the people who do care about me that I trust there is no monster down there. It may be pathetic and all, but it'll have to do. I'm not going to run from my duty anymore," Zelos said decidedly before slowing his pace to nothing. "You hear me, Lloyd? I trust you!"

Sheena watched with worry as he slipped into the darkness, yet she ran. "You beat me to it..."

"Are you running away _again_, baby summoner?" Kuchinawa asked bitingly.

"I will raze the entire village of Mizuho if you do not submit!" Mithos said.

"I..."

"Sheena, listen to me! It's all right, come down! We're waiting for you, all of us," the voice of Zelos beckoned from below. "You don't have to run anymore."

"I'm not running," she replied. She then stared Kuchinawa squarely in the eye. "I am not running away anymore. There are people down there who are depending upon me to help reunite the world. If I were to fail them, I would fail Mizuho, myself, and all life forms. I can't betray that trust, or the feelings I have of hope. I won't deny my feelings or trust in anyone again, for that is the true cowardice of running away!" Her steps slowed as the darkness readily consumed her. '_Damnation or salvation... Guess there's only one way to find out._'

She fell, as expected, to the floor below where the "monster" had lurked; instead, Zelos's arms were there to catch her.

Salvation.

He pressed her close before helping her to the ground. "Welcome back," he greeted cheerfully.

Brushing the dust off of herself, Sheena smiled in return. "It's good to be back."

"I was worried," Colette chirped from a short distance. Behind her stood a beaten-looking Genis, wizened Presea, calm Regal, reticent Raine, and of course the ever-present Lloyd.

"I... have been running from my past for a long time," Sheena admitted. "But it's not like I can really change what's happened. What's done is done, and whatever will be, will be."

"Exactly," agreed Zelos. "And I guess now that we're back with our newfound pathetic value and such we can face our challenges with more confidence. Head on."

"Yes, running doesn't solve anything," Raine said. Zelos and Sheena exchanged brief looks and let go of the hands that they were unaware they were holding. How was it that after all this time she still cared for him? They had the climax of their mission yet ahead of them. It was no time to turn to adoration.

... But it was no time to scorn it.

**SOMETIMESRUNNINGISTHEONLYWAYTOSAVEYOURSELF**

"What's that?" Colette asked. A golden figurine floated downwards and split into two, the halves of which levitated into Zelos and Sheena's hands.

"It looks like... erm, half of a spider," Zelos said, overturning it.

"It's been broken," Sheena added. "It's kinda creepy."

Lloyd craned his neck to see the figurines and quirked his eyebrow. "Maybe it's an admonition not to run away."

"Heh, I guess that's one way to look at it. Either way, I'm gonna hold on to this thing as a reminder," Sheena said, stowing it inside her obi. "So, let's _not_ run and get to Mithos's castle!"

**HUMANSARE...SOARROGANT. **

And through the halls, and through the portal, and past the dragon, and into Mithos's chamber; as she was fighting the devastated boy, she finally saw his eyes. Mithos's green eyes had opened in fear to display the deep affection for his sister which drove him. Also there was the spoiled love for Kratos, Yuan, a read-headed man who resembled Zelos, then Zelos himself, and lastly the gawky boy Genis. And then many, many different souls, all dead, all Desians. Broken trust of so many fledglings. Broken, shattered heart. Closed off to the entire world because he could not accept and use the love of another, because he could not follow through with what had to be done without his emotions becoming involved. Sheena was past that, now. She saw the weakness in it, and knew why he thought he had seen the weakness in her. The statement was reciprocal.

Between one graceful teleportation she was able to catch both of his forms and aim a fatal attack.

When Mithos's body perished and the red orb hung heavily in the air, he spoke to them; he spoke to her.

"You, who stand at the end of the path I chose not to follow... All I wanted was a world for my sister and me so we could be happy. That's all. So go on. Continue with your pitiful world where everyone is supposedly treated equally; you'll see. The world can never accept everyone unless people are all the same. Lifeless beings were the best and only way. If I were given the choice, I'd do things the same way again and again."

He disappeared through a shattered crystal, and Sheena thought to herself, '_If I were given the choice, I'd do things the same way, too_.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX **

To be continued. Please don't let my 153 pages of written Running go to waste—take the time to review. It only takes about one minute out of your time and it makes my day. Thank you.

--Trickssi

PS—New goal set for reviews for this chapter. Let's see if you reach it... I might throw in a special surprise!

PPS--Shout out to Steven! Pssht! So glad I could convert you! Mwahaha...

PPPS-- Just so you know, it took me probably about 18 hours total to get this chapter working and uploaded... my computer was so messed up.


	14. His Harvest Moon

**Disclaimer**: I do not own the characters of _Tales of Symphonia_.

**Warning**: M

**Pairings**: Sheelos, mainly.

**Dedication**: To us. To the end.

**Chapter Fourteen: His Harvest Moon**

'_I'd do things the same way, too.'_

She wasn't exactly sure of what happened after Lloyd entreated the Eternal Sword to make the world as it originally was, but then again, what _had_ she been sure of? The Summon Spirits had appeared, yes, there was no link, so let's use the Giant Tree to both revitalize mana and _be_ the link. All right. Oh yeah, and where did Lloyd get those wings?

He was flying, against the Eternal Sword's advice, toward the atmosphere's break. There he would ask the last wish of the sword, she knew. And yet Colette flew up to meet him. Everyone else watched the sky, and hoped, and prayed.

They were still high up in the indiscernible atmosphere. Waiting, waiting… Suddenly those who had not been religious were very strongly moved to utter their apologies.

Zelos could not stand for standing and waiting. "What's taking them so long? I'm going to get a better look."

"Be careful," Regal warned listlessly.

Zelos's foot had almost left the ground when Sheena called, "Wait, Zelos! You can't risk going up there when you don't know what's going to happen!"

"What else can I do?" he asked frankly. "If those two are up there risking their lives there's no reason why I can't. Unless… Hey, do you want to come see?" He silently pleaded through the urgency of his eyes. "You might regret it later. Live for the moment, right?"

She hesitantly nodded and accepted his outstretched hand. His wings appeared, strong and full this time. By the waist, she was pulled up into the sky.

Sheena remembered the wind in her face and hair and how he held her so she could have the feeling of flying she had never known before. As Colette and Lloyd came into view with the glistening Great Seed in tow, Zelos hovered and inspected his surroundings. He bade Sheena open her eyes, which had against her conscious closed in fear of the height.

"Look at that," he said. Near Lloyd and Colette the green Great Seed descended upon the vast landscape and planted itself within the remains of the Tower of Salvation. The younger pair zoomed down to meet the Seed, but Zelos still hung in the air with Sheena supported by his arms alone.

"Don't you think we should follow it to see what happens?" Sheena asked him. He smirked at her; suddenly he let her fall a short distance before swooping in to catch her. "Ahh—hey! What was that for! I swear if I had wings…"

"'S the last time you'll ever need to have that falling feeling!"

With that he dove down in time to see the Great Seed sprout into a magnificent Tree. They were settled in the atmosphere just above the group.

"Looks like Martel's speaking to them… She's alive after all," Sheena said.

"You think it'll still be called the Giant Kharlan Tree? In honor of her life…"

"Nah… He's got to give it an appropriate name now, I bet."

"Well what could he possibly name it?"

"Sure as _hell_ won't be Envoy from the Dark—"

"All right, I get the point!" Zelos laughed.

"… Well, do you want to hear the name or not? Let's go, you ass."

Zelos shook his head. As the two finally landed, they heard Lloyd's proclamation: "I'm gonna name it… Yggdrasill! He always wanted a world that stood for peace. Now he can link two of them together and have his sister watch over him forever. Even though this isn't it exactly, we'd like to thank you, Mithos, for all you've done for us."

Sheena smiled. Lloyd was a good person. Zelos… helped her fly.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

"Whaaattt did you mean when you said that, Lloyd?" inquired a rather tipsy Professor. "What Mithos has done… What's he DONE?"

"He—hic—got us here, di'n't 'e? I mean, I know all of thems and youse… I wan'ned 'a thank 'im!" justified Lloyd. He, too, had had little led for alcohol, and being that it was his first encounter with it, he found himself slurring and using grandiose gestures. At least it provided some entertainment for the others.

"Yeah, 'n, he was a great guy," Genis added sluggishly.

"What've you had to drink?" Raine scolded.

"Just one—Raaaaiiine, why does 't matter? We saved th' worlds and junk, and Mithos is dead… 'n all…" Genis looked distant before clenching his eyes shut and squishing his face into a portrait of despair. Oh, boy, he was a crier.

"Genis, I advise that you try to sleep until the alcohol has diluted in your system," Presea said. She escorted him, the sobbing boy, to his sleeping mat and sat with him until he quieted.

"That kid brother of mine," began Raine, "has aaaalways been a problem. I mean, like, _always_. 'N you know what he told me? He said he had these strange—feelings—for Mithos! Hahah, isn't that the damned weirdest thing!" she chuckled.

"Actually," said Zelos from the opposite side of the bonfire, "it's not uncommon. I mean at one time Mithos had me pretty confused about myself. He's a queer, queer guy. I'd say he's bisexual, but lately… Genis is the perfect target, being girly-looking and all. Mithos is gay, gay, gay… Was. He was."

"I _sooooo_ called it," Regal interrupted. He was lying on his side, half-asleep, attempting to keep his dignity intact, failing miserably.

"Gay as Yuan and Botta…"

"He's not that flamboyant," Sheena muttered.

"… with whips and chains…"

"What does 'flamboyant' mean?" questioned Colette.

"…and feather boas…"

"I totally called it!" Regal said before letting his head fall to the ground. This only prompted him to wake up further in a jolt.

"…when I walked in on them once," Zelos continued.

"Are you quite finished?" Raine asked.

Zelos stared at her for a second and said, "Yes."

"… That didn't really happen, did it?"

"…No," Zelos answered, "but I'm sure it must have happened to some other poor sap who happened to be in the Base that particular… _week_."

"Genis isn't gay, and neither were Yuan and Botta," Presea argued. She was among the two sane ones in the group at the moment.

"I'm not saying anything," resolved Zelos. He put his arms up in defeat and stood up. "'Cause you never know."

Nobody discouraged the point.

"You guys, you really made a difference in my life," Lloyd said abruptly. Colette, at his side, smiled and put her head on his shoulder supportively.

"I'm glad to have known you. All of you," she said.

Sheena flinched. "Don't act like this is goodbye _already_! That's in the morning," she yelled. Perhaps she didn't want the moment to end; with close to everyone clouded by Potions, there was a dreamy feeling that made her think she would wake up in her old hard bed with nothing new. It would be just as she left it, maybe. She would wake up and this adventure would have been of her mind's working unless everyone pretended it wasn't. It wasn't.

"I know, but Lloyd and I have to get back to Iselia before people start worrying… We can't waste time with farewell."

"And Genis and I need to check on the condition of Exire. I' got hit real bad by a piiiece of the Tower," Raine mumbled.

"Mmph, Lezareno…"

"I don't need to be anywhere," Zelos added expectantly. The group calmed almost instantly, Sheena noticed. Again there was some dissension as to whether Zelos was to be trusted or not.

"… Still," Colette continued. "I just wanted to say thanks. And I guess this is good night?" She looked at Regal, who was now accumulating a small puddle of saliva at the corner of his mouth. Would that there were something to capture the comely president drooling on himself!

"… Charming," Sheena said to herself.

"Yeeeah, I'm goin-g-ta sleep, too," Lloyd said. He patted Colette on the head lightly. "Nighty-night."

"Goodnight everyone," Colette said.

"'Night."

"Sleep well."

"An' don't let the bedbugs bite!"

"Goodnight, you two."

Colette helped Lloyd clamber into his bedroll, and settled herself inside her own only fractions of inches from him. From the opposite side of the fire Sheena could sense their contentedness and peace. The glow of the embers illuminated Colette's angelic face. Her first easy sleep, wasn't it, now that it was all over.

Soon, Raine had passed out near her already slumbering brother, no doubt from the drink. Presea had simply shut herself off of awareness and slept curled like an infant in the comfort of the fire's heat. Again it was the resilient youthful Zelos and Sheena left awake, though barely. Zelos was zoning and Sheena had not tried to keep scintillating conversation.

Zelos retired to his mat at last, leaving Sheena an unofficial watchman. He faced the black expanse of grass instead of the fire; he preferred not to have light in sleep. Sheena stood from her recumbent position and stretched, seeing him lying there in peace. At least it was not pieces. The silence and repose about him startled her. She supposed it was his first decent sleep for a while as well… now, shouldn't _she _deserve one?

'_I guess it's all right if I go to sleep_,' she mused. '_We don't really need a watchman now that everything's been put at bay… It'll be weird. No monsters. They'll be put at bay, I guess, for a while._' She paused in thought before glancing over at Zelos again. '_Lucky me. Here again with Zelos as the only near-to-waking person…_' She considered rousing _him_, but in her view the silvery head of a half-elven boy tossed uncomfortably. Perhaps it was better to wake him from whatever ill dream he was having instead of bothering Zelos again.

"Bad dream?" she thought aloud to Genis. The boy had drifted into a waking sleep, a drowsy state of consciousness. She softly approached him and knelt on the ground beside his mat.

"Hey Genis? I guess we never really got the chance to really chat about what's going on with you and your friend. You probably knew, didn't you, he was going to… Well anyway, I think that was really brave of you. You weren't afraid, I never saw you afraid. And no matter what he was to you, I noticed that when you care about someone you… worry about their well-being and past and their jeopardy of life or death in certain situations. So I forgive you for any pain you might have caused. You're the strongest kid I know that way. And I'm sure he would have wanted to love you back. Never forget that bond you had, okay? It's very special," Sheena whispered to him. He stirred, but slept more soundly, it seemed. "… Goodnight, then, Genis."

She stood and spied Presea nearby. Presea hardly slept on the journey, and usually was a very skittish waker. It had been a wonder she didn't wake at the pep talk to Genis. Sheena assumed that this was a good sign, but decided to keep her comments internal in hopes of keeping Presea slumbering.

'_Such a shame, to have a small child abused with Cruxis dirty-work. I can't believe they stole sixteen years from you. It's kind of creepy… I guess I would have only been three when that happened. And Zelos—…six… There must have been something wrong with Cruxis at that time. I mean, stealing your soul, his mother, and my parents? I never found out why my parents died, or if they did, but I'm almost certain now that Cruxis had something to do with it. I see the pattern. You think… You think maybe our pasts were linked? Like, maybe the people who hurt you… hurt me, too. Ah, I dunno. Sounds silly, but I've always felt we had a connection. Similar victims, y'know?_

'_If you get your years back… Well, if you don't, I'd be happy to get the Academy working on that. Or maybe it's better if you just keep living now with the knowledge you have, 'cause you'll live longer and you'll be Genis's age. Anyway, I'm glad… I'm so glad to have met you, Presea. You'll grow up to be a wonderfully beautiful person._

"Thanks," she finished aloud.

And then Raine began to snore. Oh, that she hadn't been drunk. Sheena remembered one time in Altamira when Raine snuck out in the evening to "see a play" and had come back to the room all red-nosed and huffy. She'd snored that night, too. A drunk snorer; who knew?

"Raine, could you try to can it?" she laughed to herself. Raine grumbled in return and turned onto her stomach. She was sleeping on her front as if to guard it.

Many a time Raine had tried in likeness to guard Sheena from the elements. She had forced the apology to try to set things right, and when Sheena went too far, had tried to stop a disaster from befalling the worlds.

When Sheena went too far—?

Looking back, yes, it had been worth it to keep her relationship with Zelos distant, but her mind was still clouded. Now that the journey was completed…

"Zelos; hey, Zelos!" she whispered, striding to his side again. He blinked; ah, no, he hadn't been sleeping at all.

"See it's finally my turn for a chat, eh?" he said.

"Oh, you. You know, I was going to say something nice, too."

Zelos sat up. "You can still say it. All I meant was I was waiting for you to get that fine little rump of yours over here so we could talk. Both of us. I'm the only one awake," he told her.

"Uh-huh," she replied with a skewed grin. "_Talk_…"

"Aw, come on. Whaddaya say to a walk, Shee—Misao?"

"Why," she began, not quite remembering why she had wanted to talk to him in the first place, "I would very much appreciate that over anything else you can come up with."

Escorting her by the arm, Zelos walked a distance to a small hill upon which he laid down and stared up at the moon. Sheena wasn't threatened by him at all in this light anymore. It was strange; at the start of her journey, she would not have even wanted to be in the same room as the Ex-Chosen. Now she could follow him without worry of being violated or misused. Mizuho should really be more lax on its policies with strangers. After all, it was their dumb tradition that led her to eventually trusting him, wasn't it? It was their dumb trick that had made her violate and misuse him.

"What'd _you_ want to say?" Zelos questioned abruptly out of the silence.

"What? Oh. Um… Dammit, Zelos… I still can't remember. You're making me forget," she lied. The answer burned in her mind. She wanted to tell him she was sorry. She wanted to tell him that they should continue this fling, how she wanted to take him to Mizuho to stay a while after the journey, how maybe… maybe he would see…

"Did I? It _must_ have been my grandiose conversation skills." No, it was the change I've seen in you. "Well, if you don't mind, I'd like to ask you something."

"Go ahead." Sitting, she pulled her legs close to her and looked down to him.

"Well, I wanted to know… When Seles said something about your mission being a suicide mission… Is that…?"

Solemnly she nodded, but not without shamed streaks of scarlet crossing her cheeks. "I… I'm sorry you had to hear that. As much as I would try to deny it, I only took the King's orders because I thought maybe… You know, if I did it, then Tethe'alla would finally forgive me for killing my kin, and if I didn't, well, I'd just disappear and have my past erased anyway…"

Zelos stared at her, more studying than pitying. "I… guessed. Well, you know that'd have done you no good, right?"

"Yeah! Yeah, I know now," she answered. Then she thought about it. Without taking the mission, she never would have ended up here in the first place. "Wait, no. Zelos, if I never took that job I never would have met Colette, and probably would have wallowed for unspeakable amounts of time, and who knows? Maybe the worlds would never recover, and everyone would have to keep suffering."

"Point taken. I'd have to live the rest of my life destitute if Colette kept going, or succeeded."

"Colette would have died."

"You never would have even met her."

"You're right," Sheena sighed.

"And nobody else knows how to summon anymore. Who would've broken the seals?"

"Yes… Hang on, Zelos. Yeah, I can summon, but it caused me to have second thoughts about myself. And then I used you because of my summoning on top of that! That feels… really horrible."

Her words surprised her as she spoke them. "I never said that to anyone before," she admitted.

Zelos looked up at her. "Ah—uh… Naw, you don't have to feel that way; hunny, it's just a special service for my best gal!" he said shakily. There was a disappointed reddening in his face. She hadn't intended for the conversation to go this way. Was he trying to get something out of her? Now she truly had forgotten what to say to him.

"No, Zelos, I mean it… What was I thinking…? I guess I didn't think you'd have cared, that it wouldn't have mattered to you if… I… I didn't take account of your life. But now I'm sure of it; I know you're more than a body. You're a person, even if you were just a lecherous Chosen before. I… I value your life."

Zelos shifted and avoided her comforting glance. "I… Sheena—_Misao_, there's something I just gotta say," he pleaded.

"Ah, go ahead. You can tell me anything. You haven't let me stop you before!" She breathed a sigh of relief at her own contented jocularity.

"… Well… It was so different. It wasn't like you were stealing my mana or whatnot. It was just nice for once—…

"I told you what happened with my mom, didn't I. Well—after that, that's when Cruxis stepped in, you know. 'Bout the time Mithos killed my father was when I developed this attitude of mine. It was because my father was the last living part of me, and now I was all that mattered. Yes, me, me _me. _But it didn't feel right. Like somehow Cruxis stole everything I knew. And that's why I tried to sleep with that girl—to fill that chasm." He paused. "Heh, that's perverted."

"Some things never change," Sheena said.

"Hey. The point is, she was so cold to me, and since then I never felt like a person when I was with those other girls. I didn't let them touch me because I didn't want to feel so full of myself again. But I let you. I don't know… why, exactly."

"—And then I abused you again! Listen, I'm sorry—"

"No, it made me realize—"

"I just…"

"Look, I wanted to ask you… something else," Zelos sighed in defeat of articulation. He sat up and knelt in a crouched position. By some impulse Sheena stood to better see him. This did not seem like a sitting matter, none of it.

'_Don't be silly, Sheena. You've got your hopes up again. Hell, you barely apologized and you're expecting him to ask you to go with him on his trip back home!_' Sheena blushed in Technicolor. To think that she would think that _he_ would think about that question.

"Y-yes…?" she asked with a rickety tone. Her heart suddenly skipped a few beats at a time.

"Sheena, would you want to… Oh, just…"

First glance. Bitter enmity. Acute tension. You pervert. You've seen me. Exposed. Blank. Apology. Denied. Temples. Responsibility. Stress. Favor. Abuse. Empty. Helped. Warmth. Betrayal. You've betrayed me. Traitor! … Rescue. Savior. Wings. Redemption. Unfettered. Affection. Loose emotions. Getting very strong. How many days ago? Why do I like you? Why are you making me feel…?

She did.

She truly did. She wanted to tell him now. And she wanted him to reciprocate. And she wanted so badly for him to be asking it, please, please, please…!

"Ah, just… will you sit down?" Like lightning she fell to sit. Impatience.

"What were you going to say?" she prompted.

"… Ah, um… I… never mind. I… forgot."

Silence.

"Oh. Y… yeah, sure."

Zelos ran his hand through his hair and stood up suddenly, beckoning Sheena follow. "I… thanks," he said. "For… being here. For risking your life and trusting a traitor, I guess."

"Yeah. Some traitors have a reason."

"And for apologizing, but it doesn't matter if you wouldn't have."

"Don't worry about it. I was… wrong to assume things."

"If you hadn't assumed, I couldn't say you mean… so much to me."

Sheena leaned her head on his shoulder, his arm now cradling her waist. They looked at the moon. They looked intense. "I'm glad I did. No matter what I face now, I've got that off my chest," she told him. She didn't tell him that since the weight was lifted off of her chest there was a gap there.

"…So I can, like, hang out at Mizuho if the Pope's remnants are on my tail?" he asked with a smirk.

"Zelos—!" Sheena shouted. "I can't believe…"

"Nah, I couldn't put your village in danger," he quickly corrected. "But that was my question."

"… Well, when we change locations, I'll let you know."

"Good. Don't get too far out of touch."

"Yup. I won't."

Instantaneously they strayed from each other's reach. It was probably the last time they would be alone for a long time.

"You do know when I get back I'm going to become the Chief, right? As long as I defeat Kuchinawa."

"Eh, you can whoop his ass any day," Zelos joked. "But yeah… I guessed. And I'm going to tie some

loose ends left over from my short-lived reign."

Zelos glanced back at the distant pulse of the fire. All of the rest of the party slept soundly still.

"Hey," he began. "They're still catching winks, and it's prolly the last time we'll be alooone…"

Sheena grinned bittersweetly. "I get it. But somehow I don't think it'd be right."

"… I suppose. I know. But I'm gonna miss my lovely, sweet, voluptuous honey on those lonely nights after the exquisite banquets and noble hobnobbing," Zelos remarked.

"Thanks, I guess?" He grabbed her hand and enlaced their fingers. Sheena sadly stared at him and mumbled, "I'm going to be gone when you wake up."

"I know that, too."

"Zelos, I…"

For a time she just absorbed his eyes, his face: things she'd likely not see again for ages. His passion-hair, sunset-wings. His constant smirk, lightened brow. The way he wouldn't give up. The way he was secretly sweet on her. The little excited brushes of limbs. The promise of his being nearby in the morning. "I meant to say… I…"

She kissed him, or was kissed by him; she didn't know. She let her lips linger a moment before he definitely pulled back. As their noses became the last remnant of the kiss, she moved her arms into another embrace. And he held her for some time.

"Yeah, me too."

Sheena released him at last and sadly turned to go, unable to bear his visage any longer for embarrassment of what could have been. "I'm gonna get some rest."

"… 'Night, Misao-hime."

"'Night, Kanaye."

His grin shone through to her even when she was turned away from him. When she let herself succumb to sleep for the last time in that accursed mattress, he was still standing on that far hill, looking up to the waning moon, ablaze.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX **

Thank you. I am so glad to finally finish my child of one year and three months. I wish I could have had the time to finish it earlier, but I don't think it would have turned out this well if I had. Stay tuned for the epilogue.

--Trickssi


	15. Epilogue: Louder Than

**Disclaimer**: I do not own the characters of _Tales of Symphonia_.

**Warning**: M

**Pairings**: Sheelos

**Dedication**: To all of you. Thank you so much. Let me know how you like it, please.

**The Totally Optional but Completely Fulfilling Epilogue: Louder Than **

I watched them drown into the surroundings as my Rheiard ascended the sky.

A part of me died.

I couldn't _not_ go back to Mizuho, but I couldn't bring myself to leave my friends, either. It was a tough decision, but since they would all disperse anyway it was no use trying to hide from my village.

_My_ village. Heh, still sounds a little surreal. It was always where I came from, but it was never wholly mine.

Well anyway, I landed my Rheiard a short distance away from the village as a safety precaution, and then I remembered that it really _hadn_'_t_ been such a long trek as I had told… him. I walked to the gate and found Orochi and some other members of my clan awaiting me. They surrounded me instantly; I was suffocated.

"Whoa, hey, guys."

"Sheena! You're back!"

"Welcome back, Sheena!"

"Sheena-kun, it's good to see you!"

"Sheena, I have a message from my brother," Orochi shouted through the din. I directed my attention away from the group so I could hear him. They weren't giving me an inch to breathe anyway. "He wants you to meet you on the Isle of Decision—he says it's urgent!"

I nodded and, despite the swarming, was able to get back to my hut and drop off my stuff before leaving with Orochi to finish what I'd started.

Orochi, as mediator, would judge between me and Kuchinawa when we reached the island by boat. I again faced a difficult battle, but by this time one weak man was much, much easier than defeating the scum of two entire worlds. I had nothing to lose. I had lost everything already. It was starting from page one again. And let me tell you, I'd waited for that chance from the moment I realized I couldn't understand Volt.

"Here she is," Kuchinawa hissed. He stood in the shade of the tree, a coward in the open. "Kid brother, too. Hey, _MISAO_, I see you've finally decided to show up."

"Cut it," I said. "Are you gonna fight me or what?"

"Hell yes. You won't win."

"'S that a threat? 'Cause Martel knows I've been through so many of those same empty threats, and I'm still here!"

"Bring it, bitch."

Orochi separated our verbal volley before it escalated without the set limitations. "Ho, now! The rules: winner is the one who lives. To the death. Winning conditions: if Kuchinawa prevails, Corrine's bell is smashed and he becomes… Chief. If Sheena is victorious, the bell is returned and she is hailed as new Chief of Mizuho," he said. I could tell it was hard for him to watch his brother and a good friend battle to a certain death on one part. "Take the ready." I prepared my cards. Wow, I forgot I still had them on me. "Set? Begin."

Kuchinawa fought dirty. And by that I mean he called me the rudest names and used my Mizuho name in slander. I wasn't sure how he had learned it, either. Maybe since Orochi had this thing for me he snooped… and Kuchinawa…? I don't know. At one point, he said, "Baby summoner's no baby anymore, screwing the Chosen to get herself a title!"

This deterred me for a second, and only that. He used that second to bruise me but I would not surrender so easily. "I don't need to screw him to be a great person. But you're right, I'm no baby anymore!" I stabbed him then, hard, in his core. But it was powerful enough to drive him to the ground in defeat.

"And what proves it is that I'm not going to kill you," I said. I stowed my cards and walked calmly to the boat. No challenge. No fear. No anything, except a new foundation and respect.

I really couldn't have finished him off. After all, Zelos taught me that traitors have reasons, too. Though I don't know what Kuchinawa's was, I had to let him go. And plus, Orochi wouldn't have to lose his remaining family.

Orochi rowed me back to town (we left Kuchinawa to escape for himself. I couldn't let him be so shamed in my village). The villagers enveloped me in this mob-like halo; and then I happened to realize, what had I done?

Honestly, what the hell had I done?

He was _right_ there and I let him get away. I let him.

"What is this commotion?" Tiga shouted across the clamor. The citizens were instantly put to silence as was Mizuho tradition to respect one's elders.

"Vice-Chief, Sheena has returned," Orochi said with a dutiful bow. "She has defeated my brother Kuchinawa and avenged the malevolence of his deeds. The worlds have been returned to their proper positions."

"I see. Well, Sheena, this is cause for celebration, certainly," Tiga said.

"Um, thanks," I replied.

"No, not simply that. It seems also that while you were gone, our Chief has woken from his deep sleep. For this, and for your arduous journey, we shall hold a celebration in your honor!" A cheer was being shouted, something of a praise. What a joke.

It was strange to hear these same voices which just months prior had chanted jeers and words of ill-wishes upon my health and progeny; now, they were celebrating my safe return. But then, for as small as the town was, I realized, most of them don't know me—at all. I had been away for so long studying Summon Spirits that I hadn't attended regular classes like those 'regular' housewives, Ume and Yukiko and Aya. I don't know how to sew to this day, nor how to properly launder clothing, or even how to make about three hundred traditional dishes. Instead I can speak languages like Liquo and Pyro and Aero, and I can create talismans, cards, voodoo dolls, and, on a daily basis, kick someone's ass.

Come to think of it, I really wouldn't have wanted to be born the same as those frail housewives. That would only mean adhering to the strict codes of honor to husbands, and children, and elders. I would have been forced to cook food I don't like, mend clothing I don't own, bear children I don't want, and go to bed with a man I don't love. I wasn't born here, but I know enough about Mizuho to understand that traditions have changed elsewhere. If this is what people do all day, then, wow. They are exceedingly shallow and hopeless. If you have to lie to yourself and be locked up for your whole life, what a meaningless existence you lead. These are the Lifeless Beings. They pretend to care for each other like they pretended to care for me. I know them now.

I had seen the world, and I had traveled with people who cared about my life. We depended on each other, but we reveled in the moments when we didn't have to. I felt more compassion in those strangers than I had ever had with a Mizuho native. Yes, even Orochi. You'd think for being so close I couldn't see his self-oppression, but it's more blatant in that situation, I think.

Well, although I missed my friends terribly, I had to fix this, my home, first.

"That's—not necessary," I told Tiga and Orochi.

"Don't lie to yourself, Sheena," said a voice from behind me. I had not heard that timbre for… "That would be truly running away from your heart, wouldn't it?"

"Grandpa!" I exclaimed. He was standing, walking, or was he, or was I running toward him? I couldn't bow. I couldn't stop myself. My lordly, kind, sweet grandfather: the outside world had mandated physical contact no matter how strict the Mizuho guidelines. I embraced him.

I didn't care about the gasps of the crowd. If their care was superficial, then wouldn't their disgust be also?

"Grandpa, I'm so glad you're back, you're alive, you're here!" I called.

"You've changed so much! If I would have known your new appearance sooner I would have greeted you the moment you arrived," he replied. I noticed he wasn't objecting to the hug. If anything he encouraged it. I never appreciated the small things like that when Grandpa had ruled before. Oh, Tiga, you did practically all of the starvation of love, didn't you?

"Heh, thanks," I told him. I backed away and bashfully let my arms cover my stomach again.

"Look at how beautiful you are, inside and out. That trip you began so many years ago has finally shown the fruits of labor. You have learned much, I can tell."

"I wanna know, how did you wake up?" I asked.

Tiga stepped forward. "His astral body was stuck to Volt's power until—"

"She will find out for herself," Grandpa said. "In the meantime, let me make an announcement. I am full ready to resign my position of Chief and bestow it upon somebody much more worthy than I."

"… Grandpa?" I began. "But you can't mean…"

"You are ready, Sheena-kun. Do not doubt your abilities, for you have traveled long to obtain them. I bequeath my title to you."

"But Chief—excuse me, Igaguri, but she knows not of the ninja lifestyle!" Tiga whined. I mean, really, he whined.

"I believe that for her it is inherent."

I really didn't think my Grandpa would have trusted me with this much power fresh out of his coma. "I-I'll be the _successor_ when he feels the time is truly right," I protested. I wanted to change Mizuho, that's for sure, but not—not _now_. Not fresh out of a journey. Not fresh out of rejection.

"Whatever you deem fit, then, my granddaughter. But I feel that I'm too old—it's time for someone young to help start over," Grandpa told me. I weakly nodded. "Then let us commence the celebrations and ceremony at once!"

"—Ceremony?" I asked. The hoard of people began to disperse themselves, however vociferously.

"Yes, of course, Chief!" Tiga replied, bowed, hurried off.

"Do not worry about the ceremony. Just head to the bathhouse and I will have someone explain the process as we set up."

I had no choice but to quizzically follow orders. He was still Chief, after all. Though, as I walked, I had the sneaking suspicion that I was in for a very, very revealing mistake.

Bathhouse, pah. It was meant for one or two people to keep belongings safe as they bathed in solitude in the calm river. It was more like a—locker room. At least, it should have been. Inside, as I reached it, two women were waiting to expedite the process. I recognized one as Mizuho's healer, and the other was a gossipy friend of hers. Oh, should be fun.

"Welcome, Successor," the healer said. "I was ordered to explain the process for you as my assistant prepares you for the Sacred Bath." I winced. The friend hastily came around behind me and tugged on the knot of my obi.

I must have caught sudden chills or jumped, or something. It was not a pleasant feeling. Who was this unfamiliar person violating my space? Whatever happened to privacy in this village since I left?

"Sorry if I disrupt you, miss. Quickly now, or the herbs will spoil," she advised.

"The first step, of course, the Sacred Bath, in which you are cleansed of the dirt of your travels," the healer explicated.

A bath didn't sound bad at all. At least it wasn't a shower. Showers tended to remind me of that time in Altamira when Zelos deliberately strode into the bathroom and peeked at me while I was taking one. I couldn't forgive him for that. I'd been singing and everything—guard totally down, hair up with soap. Well, I had to rinse and repeat, so he got away with it, but I was still furious. Actually, that girl was making me furious. You can't rape someone of their clothing! That's just discourteous.

"Then the questionnaire to test your knowledge; afterwards, ancestral ceremonies connecting you to the goddess and allowing you to drink the Tea of Life… Are you paying attention?"

I really wanted to say, "No, I'm being stripped naked by a strange girl and being pushed into a frigid stream against my will," but I just nodded. And actually, as I looked down, besides the pseudo-blood which stained the insides of my thighs I noticed a tiny wiry bit of red-orange hair entangled with the dark halo of my own. I nearly laughed, cried, and had a heart attack at the same time. It felt like, you know, when you try to sneeze, cough, and hiccup all at once but your body can't take it… I didn't mind it being there, because it meant he was still here in some way, but at the same time I prayed that the pushy girl didn't notice. Chieftains are supposed to be appointed as virgins to make sure they're monitored during their rule… Some messed up nobility issue. It would have been the first rule I abolished.

As the cold water enveloped me I wished nothing more than to retreat to my worn traveling clothes. I think I gasped or something.

"The temperature is to wash away your sins," the healer explained. She sprinkled some sort of green dust in my hair. "The clover is to bring you fortune as you enter this new age." Again, herbal showers; the color was red, and it washed away quickly in the dancing current. "Red dragon's breath, for power. Yellow mustard-seed, for potency. White lilies for your… purity." I had no need of her to remind me that I hadn't lived up to my chaste name. I hope she didn't notice the way I tried to cover myself up as though embarrassed at myself for having done a beastly act with some man.

"And the nudity is for…?" I muttered. Then the healer grabbed my scalp and pressed me underneath the water's surface. I felt like I was being whipped by the river, having my skin ripped cruelly from my body as well as the memories that accrued from my travels. I tried to ruminate upon the memory of _his_ supplicating touch, and how I was completely bent to his will, and how he would barely run his fingers through my hair but give me chills nevertheless. Now the chills came from the frostbitten waves, and the hand in my hair was grasping, grabbing, slaughtering. It could not compare to the warm days of my recent past. This was a winter of holy baths. _Holy_ Baths? More like, _Holy Fuck These Baths Are Cold_.

"All of this is to redeem you to holiness so that you may rule indomitably and infallibly," the healer said as I gasped for air; she had finally let me out.

It all made me appreciate life on the move, the kind of life that didn't involve petty purity and ceremonies and propriety. Damn propriety. I can wash myself with plants if I want to.

And why couldn't I get these annoying thoughts of Zelos out of my head? I kept thinking about the time when he saw me in the shower. I wanted to be in a Holy Shower if only to be reminded of him. What was this? Wasn't I _purified_ yet?

And suddenly…

I wanted.

I wanted so much for him to have wanted _me_ that much. _That_ much… So much that he wanted to be with me now, even if my village needed me and hated him, even if they were forcing me into my grandfather's position. Why did he have to go back to Meltokio? We weren't exactly sure of what we were, and it was in no way my childhood fantasy, but I would rather have been with him than be pitted against an old foe and made to be new Chief solely because of a new image.

Why didn't he say something?

Why didn't _I_?

Then it was just the drying and having an uncomfortable robe draped about my body. They took my clothes—I would get them back. I had to. I thought maybe I was forgetting something in a pocket… I didn't have pockets.

They brought me to the tailor, who had since my return been fussing over a ceremonial gown. It was of an incarnadine color, a deep red. Red. God. The multitude of white and gold linens for an obi, the uncomfortable wooden shoes, the face paint. I hadn't missed this.

They brought me to the rude advisor, who was a cohort of Tiga, I had guessed. He asked me things about the Third Scripture and the Four Directions and the Five Peoples of Tethe'alla, quite numerical. He asked me things about my lineage, asked me to recite grandpa's heritage tracing back about a hundred years. He asked me what it meant to be Chief. He asked me what I thought happiness was as an ideal. I think I told him that one plus one equals two. He didn't respond.

They took me to my grandfather, who lighted a candle. I made some insincere oaths. Couldn't he see I needed… truth…?

Mizuho elected me, and I elected to follow along and… I lost myself.

I was Chief Sheena Fujibayashi of the First Order.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

Things went on. Things progressed, things declined. Things just happened.

And then about two months after my induction, a Misao Umeno Fujibayashi received a letter in the post from a certain capital city of Tethe'alla. I immediately rushed to my house to read it in seclusion. I never got letters save from the King; I figured all of my friends were still settling in during that time. This one was different, though. It seemed to be enlaced with a faint and familiar scent that I could not place. I definitely had smelled that breath of foreign life before.

"**_To the Chief Sheena of Mizuho Village_**," it read. Underneath it was the elvish letter "S." Upon seeing the elvish a flutter overcame my pulse.

Could it be…?

No.

But who else knows that language?

Colette.

Oh. Of course. Oh, it must have been she who sent the letter. I got excited and tore the reddish parchment at its ornate waxed "**_C_**" seal. I felt almost foolish for thinking it was anyone else's letter.

**_Sheena—_**

**_What's up? Been a while, I guess. Ah, there's something I have to tell you. I don't know why they're doing this; I was certain it would have been called off the second my title was renounced. I mean, come on! They can't keep me from my hunnies!_**

I nearly dropped the paper. "**_C_**" for Chosen. Guess he got to keep the seal...

But, Zelos—!

… **_So maybe you heard from that Derris Emblem a few months ago_**…

Two months, four days, three hours and ten minutes, but who's counting.

… **_I'm… betrothed. To that princess and crap. They're doing it because her mana signature is closest to Martel's. I guess the church hasn't been properly disbanded, huh? Or updated_**.

"I guess not, you haughty, lying, philandering—!" I shouted at the letter.

**_Calm down, my Violent Demonic Banshee. I knew you were going to do that_**.

I laughed aloud, incredulously. I realized that I wanted him very much to be in front of me at that moment. I wanted to slap him. Quarreling with a letter! A letter, no less, that cut off all hopes I had of ever seeing him again. Married. Marriage to Princess Hilda the Harlot. Marriage in Meltokio. Marriage minus Misao.

**_I'm not inviting you to the wedding, you know. Mainly because you're busy and all, but also because it's not happening ._**

"What?"

**_I figure if I'm not gonna be there, then hell, what's the point of your coming?_**

**_Anyway, speaking of the Church, I have to ask you something from the King. I was supposed to ask you a long time ago, but I really, really remembered when we had the rehearsal dinner last night that I needed to see you. Well, I still have to ask you about it. And other things. So! I have decided to meet you at the Temple of Lightning as soon as you possibly can manage. I hope the carrier was fast. I hope you still have your Rheiard. It's going to be lonely over there. Cool how we can still use Rheiards after Volt vamoosed._**

**_Well, I hope to see you there._**

**_Take care of yourself._**

**_—Zelos._**

**_PS—Yes._**

**_PPS—Could you hurry up? This tux is kind of suffocating ._**

I stood agape in the frame of my doorway, wanting to shout and dance, and strangle the man. But none of those are allowed in Mizuho's public domain. Instead, I re-read the last bits. They were real. Wow. _Wow_. I thought I was going crazy because his handwriting was just… it seemed like so long ago.

No time for reminiscing; I put the letter on my desk in a hasty wreck and ran for the closet. He would expect me to be in my old ninja garb, wouldn't he? At any rate, I had remembered that I had forgotten to take things out of the inside pockets of my clothing from two months ago when they stole it from me. I rummaged through the back of the large closet. A flash of purple caught my eye—there were my things, right where I left them.

I donned my old digs, happy to discard my flashy kimono. I couldn't stand those dresses. I felt them cling to me as they had in the good days; although, I had to admit, it was colder now and I would most likely need a cloak of some sort on my little adventure. I'd worry about that later. I was off to find Orochi.

Venturing out of my house I caught the attention of the first attendant I saw. "Aya-san, would you mind finding me a cloak and collecting about two days' worth of food?" I asked urgently. The girl I had known in my childhood looked at me as if I were raving mad, but bowed and set forth to complete the task given her. I, in the meantime, put the note in my old holding spot, right at my rib through the ribbon.

It was then I remembered what I had forgotten to extract those months ago.

Spider.

I knew it wasn't there, for I couldn't feel its jagged edges or golden lumps anywhere. Where had they taken my half-spider relic?

"Sheena-kun! What ails you?" a voice from behind me asked in a polite manner. It was Orochi, bowing again to his supposed superior.

"Oh! Just the man I was looking for," I said. "And stop bowing. My eyes are up here." He obeyed and stood straight again, apologizing in mumbled phrases. "I need you to find something for me, haste-post-haste. It's a spider figurine; well, half of a spider, actually. It's gold and probably cracked all over, but I need it. I'm going on a mission as soon as Aya comes with my stuff."

"A mission?" he asked. "To where?"

"I got a letter from the King this morning and he needs me to join him in a clandestine meeting place. You understand."

"Wh-what if the letter was false, and somebody is just out to assassinate our new Chief?" Orochi questioned, panicked. "Let me go with you. I'll make arrangements."

I jumped at the bit. "No, Orochi, I can't have you come with me. I know it was from him. It's in his handwriting, it has his seal. Nobody can imitate that. And—… it smells like him…"

"Smells, Sheena-kun?"

Apparently I had let too much slip, but I recovered with, "Yes, of course it smells! The palace—er, it reeks of kingliness. I know that this letter is real. You need to find me my spider!"

Orochi was slow to oblige, but he bowed nevertheless. "I suppose…"

"Please, _today_?"

"Well, it's just that I have this feeling that it—"

"Sheena-kun, your cloak and food," Aya gasped, running to my side and prostrating herself before me. I mandated her rise.

"Thank you, Aya-san. Make sure that Orochi does as he's told and finds my damn spider," I told her. She seemed delighted with the privilege to oversee one of the top officials in his duty, as she was basically a lowly peasantish wife. "I'll come back for it, Oro-chan."

I collected the cloak and basket of food, and, with quickened pace, walked to the gate of the town. Orochi was loath to see me disappear into the forest, but I tried not to mind. I had been rather rude to him, hadn't I. I regretted being so forward in my actions, but it seemed that he knew something I did not about the figurine, and I did not want to acknowledge the fact that it was probably stolen and exchanged for gald in some city miles away. I would apologize to him later. Right now, the only thing in the world was that I was going to see Zelos.

I mounted my Rheiard, the purple-striped one. I tried to keep my cloak close to me as I ascended into the chilly air of November, but it was difficult to keep my mind on anything. I sailed with the greatest haste possible to the north.

It was a tower of the gods. It was the Tower of Salvation. Granted, it was the tower that had once killed my people, but now it wasn't that at all. Now it was a beacon of hope.

There in the nest of grass and brush below me by only a few hundred feet was a dot of red. The red hair belonged to Zelos. I wanted to kill him for making me come to this place. The Rheiard dove down and came to rest close enough to the redhead that the wind upset his hair. Without any intention of upholding grace, I flung myself off of the Rheiard, cloak flying, and tackled him.

"Waaah—Sheena!" he gasped, trying to regain control. He leapt out from underneath my grasp and stumbled to his feet. I clumsily stood as well. "Well, that's certainly a welcome. Hello, hun!"

I was enraged. I don't know why. "HUN! That's all I get for dragging my ass all the way here to see _you_? I had to make so many arrangements last-second! Do you know how frustrating that is? And to the Temple of Lightning, no less! Only the place that reminds me of everything bad that ever happened in my life!" I screeched. I barreled toward him and began to swing at his chest and arms, and I think I got him once in the jaw.

"Whoa, augh, ouch—whoa, Sheena, stoppit for a sec! I did _not_ mean it like—_oof_!" He didn't push me or fight back, he just kind of raised his hands and caught mine, and they stopped. I was seething.

"I swear to _goddess_, Zelos. Why am I even doing this…?"

"… Well, you know why. And then there's the fact that the King needs to speak with you through me," he said kindly, readjusting his collar. I noticed that the collar was formal. He wasn't wearing pink. It was a black tuxedo, accented with depressed indigo lapels and silver buttons. His hair was tightly braided in the back. I realized that the hells he had had to go through were fashion-related as well.

"I'm sorry about not telling you about the Hilda thing," he said, noticing that I was scanning his formalwear. "I thought you knew when you heard it at the Derris Emblem and just didn't want to talk about it… I kind of thought you'd beat me up like this."

"Heh, sorry… sorry about that, Zelos," I muttered. I became something of a human again.

"Don't worry about it. Maybe that's what I needed, a slap in the face to bring me back to real life… Wow. Do you know that at this moment I'm missing my own wedding?"

I looked down at my feet and managed to chuckle. "Crazy, isn't it? I never thought you'd settle down so soon."

"Not to her," he replied sadly. "So, ah… What's new with you these days?"

"What _isn't_ new…?" I said. "It's been all hoity-toity ceremonies and ridiculous titles, that's what. I'm Chief. Can you believe it? I now rule over a bunch of ninjas in Mizuho who have no sense of guidance."

"So you still haven't moved?"

I looked at him. "Where _would_ we move?" I asked. "Nowhere in Tethe'alla is uncharted, and I'm sure in Sylvarant it's the same."

"Actually," he began, "they don't really know about Sylvarant in the Church. They just know it exists, and that it's bad. The only person from anywhere near high society that's been there is me. As if I'd go squealing to _them_."

"… Oh, the Church of Martel, that's right," I said. "They're not bothering you, are they?"

"Just to marry Hilda already and make some kids and grow old or get killed; and all of this, soon. Well I don't want to marry somebody I don't love. If anyone, at least make her a hunny, or something! I mean, come on. She's smart and just and all, but she's not for me. I'm no prince, you know that. They all know that."

"And so you're running away again?" I mocked. He didn't find it as humorous as I thought he would take it; the lines of worry yet rested on his brow.

"Not _running_, doll. Evading."

"Is that what we're calling it now?"

"Aren't you _running_ from _your_ title, too?" he asked. I had to sigh, because he was right, and he knew it.

"I suppose you could call it that. Wow, what great promises we make," I remarked. "I don't want to run from things, really. I just don't want to have to be tied down to _them_."

He searched for something in his pocket. "Yeah, is that true? You don't want to run? At least I still have my spider," he said, pulling it out and showing his half to me in the rude sunlight. I blushed.

"Y-yeah, well, it wasn't my fault! They stole it from me!"

"Doooon't wanna hear it," he sang. He pulled another chunk of gold from his pocket.

"—What? That's my…"

"I know," he said smugly. "As for how I got it, that I don't know. It showed up in an envelope at my door one day. It looked Mizuho, so I figured it was from you, but then I remembered that friend of yours, Orochi…"

He didn't. He couldn't have! "Orochi stole my figure to give to you?"

Zelos shook his head. "No, no. He found it near the river and said it was burning my address into the ground. The spider was looking for its other half, so he sent it to me, not knowing that maybe… he should have sent its owner instead?" I took the figurine from his hand, and between us we matched up the pieces to form the whole spider. It hadn't been whole since before we found it at the Emblem. The spider latched itself into one piece.

"… Creepy," I said. "It's alive?"

"I think it was just trying to tell me something. I've kept it in my pocket ever since we had them, and it started to bite me about the time you left that morning. I took it as kind of a sign," Zelos told me.

I blushed fuchsia again. Was he trying to tell me something?

"Oh, that you needed to talk to me about that thing with the King that you forgot." I was past articulation. Some hope in my heart still remained that maybe he was trying to tell me that he wanted to be with me, and I had to go with it. I wanted it. I coveted it. I needed it, really.

"Oh! Yeah, that… Almost forgot again," he said almost as stupidly as I. "He wants you to be some sort of Emissary of Peace to Sylvarant."

I was startled. "The King wanted _me_ of all people?"

"Well, I suggested you, but he accepted. I played to the audience for irony. Emissary of Death becomes Emissary of Peace… haha? Anyway, it's because I wanted you to move Mizuho to the Linkite Tree. It's the only uncharted area in all of the worlds, and nobody needs to know but us."

"… Why do you need to know?"

"You told me before you'd tell me where you moved, come on!" he whined.

"Actually, that sounds like a perfect idea," I said in realization. We would be able to live in a secluded area that wasn't too far from civilization, the pinnacle of what the Mizuho ninja location ought to be. And nobody would live in ransom, and nobody would live in fear of Volt. The Sylvarant Summon Spirits were much more hospitable, anyway; our new mascot could be Aska—

"Really? I thought so too. At least, I hoped so. So I gave a notice to your Orochi and told him to tell you that you should start the moving process," Zelos said. "I'm re-hiring my servants to help you with the move to Sylvarant; once you get past the Renegade Base, you're on your own, though, for safety purposes of your own. And we'll stop all the caravans. I don't care how much money it takes, really. Anything for you."

"Oh, stoppit," I said, avoiding his excited eyes. "But thanks." I clasped his hand and looked over at the ocean. "Emissary of Peace? Sure. I get to travel, right? And I get to see you occasionally."

"I hope a little more than occasionally!"

"Ha, ha, we'll see. If I can stand you, maybe. And then, what happens once I'm done traveling to restore order?"

"You can settle down in New Mizuho."

"Oh… So I'm not running away, I'm just delaying?" I asked smartly. He smirked.

"You could call it that. And I'm not running away, I'm just relocating?" he said. He turned the spider over in his hands and watched it intently.

"…Sure? But where are you relocating then? What, do you want to get out of your limelight in Meltokio?"

He paused.

"Actually, I wanted to… talk to you about something," Zelos admitted. Again with the dodging! I didn't know if I could wait for him to tell me what I needed to know.

"Zelos, if you have something to say, just spit it out. Don't be afraid. I'm not running from this spot, and neither will you. I'll sit here three days if I have to. I have enough provisions to last me. I'm not going to move no matter what you tell me, and I'll swallow a thousand needles if I lie!" I said. He gripped my hand, put the figure in his left pocket again, turned my shoulders to face him.

"Remember that time in the Tower of Salvation when Orochi showed up without telling you who sent him? That was me."

I smiled. "I figured as much."

"I wanted you to be safe under someone you trusted, and not one of my sleazy cohorts, so I brought him."

I waited. "O…kay…? That's it? That's all you had to tell me? Well, thanks, I guess."

He shook his head, and seemed to notice something. With a childish fussiness he reached back at his violet bow and let his hair free. Crimson crimped locks. And he ran one hand through it, which afterwards he brought in front of himself for me to see.

"This is my engagement ring," he said. "Or rather, _was_." A sturdy gold band studded with diamonds and rubies was curled around his ring finger. "But that doesn't mean I'm getting rid of it." I laughed. Ever materialistic. Then he plunged that hand back into his pocket and brought out a small velvet box with a gaudy fake rose tied to it. "This was supposed to be Hilda's. This morning I woke up, and I went to my dresser and saw this box, and I thought, 'Wow, I really don't think I want to give this hunk of metal to a girl I don't know at all.' And the rose reminded me of something you said before about roses being your favorite flower, and I remembered that I'd never paid you back for all those times you'd saved my hide—"

I looked at Zelos's eyes again. Tears welled up in mine. "I never told you that they're my favorite flower."

"They're mine, too… I was just guessing. Hilda wanted roses, but she said they were never her favorite. They just needed red and white-lilac roses at the wedding because it looked pretty. When I looked at the decorations a few days ago, it just—it reminded me of you, and how I really should have told you this something before.

"Now, I'm going to give you this box… Sheena, oh, stoppit with the waterworks, I'm not being _that_ sentimental!" he chided. I had to wipe the girlish tears from my face and pretend like I was myself again. He had no idea of what he was doing to my psyche. "You can't cry," he said. "You have to promise me you won't cry, 'cause I'm sure this is not the conventional way you would have imagined."

I took a deep breath. "I promise I won't cry… God, why am I crying? Chiefs don't cry," I mumbled.

Zelos let a grin appear on his face. "But fiancées do." My eyes went wide.

"Wh—what! You're not…?"

"Well, only if you want to call it that. I just want to call it giving you a little present that you truly deserve," he said. He opened the box, and inside the finely-cut diamonded ring glittered with hope.

"—I can't… I can't… I—Zelos, I don't even know what's going on between us!" I shouted in disbelief, half-laughing, half-hyperventilating.

"Neither do I!" he chuckled. "That's the point. We're not going to get married or anything, don't think of it like that, but this is your gift from me for being so lovely… Because you're the only person I'd want to give it to."

Incredulously, I took the ring from its velvet constraints. Zelos stopped me, and took it in his hand instead, and put it on my right finger. "Doesn't it go on the left?" I asked.

"We're not engaged, Misao... We're confused, and we're running away, and we're jeopardizing our cities, and we're…"

I hesitated to add on to his explanation. I wasn't sure of what he was blabbering. I wanted to believe it was what I thought it was. "… In love?"

He nodded. It wasn't the word to throw away, as we both knew. Neither of us had experienced enough in our childhood to know what that deep connection really was. But if his heart was swelling like mine, and if he really entrusted me with the ring that belonged to a wife…

I laughed. I burst out laughing. He did, too. The whole idea was magnificent, brilliant, humorous, sinister… but perfect. We fell to the ground and looked up at the sky, and I knew.

He loves me.

"You know, I was never too damn sure about anything in my life, but since I have the option, I think I'll stay here with you," Zelos said in a low voice.

"Well, well. Zelos Wilder, finally settling down," I remarked.

"Nuh uh. I'm just making sure you want me. It doesn't mean we're settling down at all, yet." Nobody could fetter the spirit of Zelos: no father, or mother, or master, or wife. I was fine with that idea; though I did find him a right bastard to make me think he was proposing. I was fine with this, though. Just existing, knowing that all of my trust went to a good cause. He will return, and I can run forever and come back to him, and he can run forever and come back to me.

"Oh, but in due time you'll want to, when everything's back to close to normal. Now that we don't have Raine on our tails, we have plenty of time to make up for all the things we missed."

"Aw, that's no fun if we have to wait for things to get normal. We're not normal!" he insisted.

"No, but that doesn't matter."

"Mhm…" He closed his eyes.

"And you're one lucky son-of-a-Chosen it doesn't."

"Yes. Yes I am."

"And I have the feeling we're going to have a tough time getting anywhere if we don't get up."

"Eh, I can't."

"Neither can I! I'm so dizzy," I said, eyeing my ring. His.

"Well, we have all day, and tomorrow. I have a feeling we'll need until tomorrow."

"… I have a feeling we're going to have tomorrow…"

There were no more lazy words to be said. We just stopped speaking, and looked up at the sky. It wasn't purple or foreboding or absent of color or stars. It simply was, and the sun came out from behind a cloud and made the grass look majestic. Nothing needed to be said.

We're going to have tomorrow.


End file.
